thanks for all the suporrt in my dms ive been tired im not ignoring you all im reading them i just dont have much enery to write much back so i love you all and thanks so much

Does anyone know a suicide/depression textline?

im trying my hardest but i need help

im sorry guys,
but this may be my last goodbye.
my mind cant fight anymore.
my body is starting to fall apart too.
what am i supposed to do?
im just tired.
but my mind can't rest.
my family wants me alive and to thrive,
but i don't know how.
im so sorry to everyone.
i don't even know who will read this or care.
but im tired of this and don't know what to do anymore.
maybe ill text a hotline or something idk
its the same thing everytime.
i go to the hospital,
and they treat my wounds,
and admitt me to the psych ward,
and i fake it till they let m go home.
what do i do?
everyone just says keep fighting and it will get better.
i have my blades,
and i have my ways.
why do i have to stay?
i know why i should stay but...
idk

I don’t want to shed another tear,
I don’t want to burn my precious skin.
I don’t want my heart to ache another second knowing that I’ll never be good enough for you
I don’t want to be emotionally numb
I don’t want to spend another minute hating myself.
I don’t want to breakdown the thought of gaining a single pound.
I don't want to avoid human contact because of the thought that they will see me how I see myself.
I don’t want to love the feeling of hunger.
I don’t want to tear myself into pieces
I don’t want to see the beauty in the sick
I don’t want to weigh myself every 10 minutes
I don’t want to spend 3 hours pacing around my backyard
I don’t want to live in this constant l nightmare
I just want to be happy.
I want to be good enough.
I was to change for the better,
But it's harder than you think.