You say you love me,
that without me your nothing,
your words are beautiful,
but yours actions are ugly,
i try to believe you,
because i want to,
but i don't know if i can convince myself any longer,

My love for you was strong,
It could never be broken,
I thought that with you I would never be lost,
You told me to take your hand,
That you would never let go,
That together we would explore our beautiful love,
You told me I needed to be trusting,
To have more faith,
As your telling me this,
We are standing at the edge,
You said I jump you jump,
I felt safe,
I didn't feel scared,
Then you started to count,
3,
2,
1,
GO!,
I jumped,
When I turned to look beside me,
You weren't there,
You were standing at the edge,
Laughing at me,
Saying  you dumb girl,
Never trust something that was just a fairy tail...

Her beautiful painting is always with her,
And her tool always calls her name,
Even though she try's to ignore,
She cant help but to obey,
She grab hers tool,
And sits down on the bed,
And lays out her paper,
And suddenly starts to cry,
Oh beautiful painting,
Why does it hurt so bad,
Why does this always happen to me,
Why am I so different,
Why does everything happen to me,
As she cries and paints her painting,
She realized she had painted to far,
She looks down and realizes that her paper was her wrist,
Her paint was her blood,
And her tool was a blade,
She starts to cry and says,
You were supposed to be beautiful,
But now you are just my terror of death...

I feel dry and
empty
like a dried up well
I can feel the black thoughts
taking over my mind
Whispering
sweet evil nothings
in my ear
dripping with honey laced poison
I feel the depression
sinking into my bones
taking root in my blood stream
and poisoning my mind
I feel the hatred
slowly infecting my soul
like cancer
it never goes away
I feel the cracks forming
slowly, subtly
spreading across my skin
like spider webs
just waiting until I break
I feel myself start to shatter
the darkness within
leaking out
infecting those around me
and at the same time
******* in the world's evil shadows
my body now a host for
the dark light I always adored
Madness
taking residency in my eyes
Hatred
poisoned my soul
Depression
made my flesh and blood
overtook my mind
lives in my bones
and now I see only red
all I know is the bitter taste of life
and the sweet honey of poison
I live with the dark light
it thrives inside me
and soothes the burning of my heart
I no longer know myself
I love the moon
the chaos she brings
and the innocent screams
of her victims
as the madness takes over

Hurt
without moving.
Poison
without touching.
Bear the
truth and the lies.
And are not to be judged
by their size.

They say Leprechauns
waiting with pots of gold at the end of the rainbow
are nothing but myths
They say there is no end to rainbows
but I say
follow your dreams
and go catch your Leprechaun
find your *** of gold
hidden deep within the meadow
and you’ll find
the end of your rainbow was worth the chase

I wish for rain to strip me clean
carrying away all the pain.
I wish for sunshine and hot temperatures to warm my skin and
remind me to leave behind the things that weigh me down.
I wish for someone to understand me
not the me that wears the mask but the me when it crumbles away.
I wish for my friends to tell me what the hell is going on
and not just leave me in the dark,
especially when I’m needed.
I know I’ve pulled away, not for lack of love but a need to
re-introduce myself
to my own mind and the ways it’s changed.
I wish I was needed even just a little bit. I know I’m not the gentlest soul
and my hands aren’t soft the way yours are.
I know my hands are rough and demanding and harsh,
but I try to to be gentle and comforting.
I just need to know you’ll want me to be there when all else fails.
And I need a little love. Real Love for me
and not the frail thinly veiled love for my mask and unfailing loyalty.