If you are a suicide survivor
Inbox me your name
And I’ll add it to my tattoos of others

You guys mean the world to me
And I have my own name on my arm
Because I too, am a suicide survivor.

I am obsessive
Though my room is a mess
Please don’t touch a thing

Don’t make me
Change or conform
Because that is my fear

But I am obsessive
A creature of habit
Set schedules

A slow walker or
A bump in the road
And I may lose it all
  
Because I am obsessive
I will cry over
Spilled milk

My absolute weakness
Is embarrassment
Head down to walk

Will I be obsessive
When it all goes wrong
I surely will break

How can I live
When my world is
A mess in the neat lines

I’m obsessed with
Poetry- lines and stanzas
All in neat rows

All spaces and ink
Covering my paper
And, yes I am still obsessive

You have now left me

As I sit here fighting away more tears
I wonder
Do you remember all the things I wrote about you?
Do you remember the poem called You that I wrote?

You probably don't

Even though you left me today it feels like it was forever ago
For you seem so far away from me

Did you think about the fact that you come over early every thursday so you can get to youth?
Wether I'm coming or not?

You probably didn't

Now every time you come over
I will retreat
I will retreat to my bedroom
To the bathroom
Or out the door
So I can find somewhere quite to cry

Because your smile gave me life
Your gaze gave me butterflies

You are utterly beautiful in my eyes
But you don't see yourself that way

So you break
And then you leave me
Because 'you can't handle a relationship'
I understand
But my heart still shattered when I read those words

Tears instantly swelled my eyes and started to pour
Just like rain on a lonely night

Now tonight as I go lay in my bed
I will stare out my window
At the wall
Or the roof

Remembering your smile
Remembering your laugh
Remembering how safe I felt next to you
Pressed into you
And just near you

I will lay there as tears streak my cheeks
As I remember the way my heart would beat just at the sight of you
As I remember the way my heart would break when I saw the smile falter from your face

For I didn't want you to feel broken like me
Because you deserve to be happy

You are beautiful to me
And you always will be

Now as I sit here my thoughts will not leave you

If anyone asks for me to be theirs I will probably say no
And I probably will for many years

But if I say yes I will not truly love them
For I will forever remember when you were my puppy
And I was your kitten

she came across a lonely daisy in the middle of the field

she picked at it "she loves me , she loves me not"

if only i could get the words to tell her

then she'd know.