To reassure me
You utter softly
                    "Just think of me
                     As a cookie
                     You've been dying to eat"
...
I'm nervous
My hands are shaking
When I place them on your knees

Sure
I've tasted hard lollipops before
And they were easy to take in my mouth
As my lips formed around them.

But I've never had a sugar cookie
Quite like this before
With a goddess
Quite like you

Your voice is calm
Collected
But weighed down
Over the sound of my panting
As your fingers tangle in my hair
                    "Relax"

My body twitches with excitement
Anxiety
Because I want to please you
But I don't know how

I lean forward anyway
And lick away some of the frosting
You moan
And I know you taste sweeter than ever.

I have a friend
His name is Depression
He used to come and go frequently
But now I think he's here to stay

I used to have a friend
Her name was Joy
She came and went frequently too
But now I think she's gone for good

Depression and Joy don't get along
When one comes, the other goes
They're never together
And they never will be

They used to be evenly matched
But Depression grows much faster than Joy
He's much bigger now
He's much stronger

So now, when they fight
Over who will stay with me
Depression wins
He wins nearly every time

He beats her
He beats her badly
Leaving her scarred and bruised
Leaving her black and blue

I used to care
I used to try and stop him
I used to try and protect her
But I don't anymore

Depression is stronger than Joy
He's stronger than me now, too
So I simply watch
As he scares her away

I used to run after her
But I don't now
Joy used to be my friend
But not anymore

I can't trust her
She leaves when I need her the most
But Depression always comes back for me
He always comes back

Joy has been away a long time now
Longer than she ever has
I'm not sure if I'll ever see her again
I'm not sure if I want too

Because now, I have Depression
My true savior
My true protector
My true friend

He sits with me
He sleeps with me
He walks with me
He talks with me
He follows me
He stays with me
He holds onto me
He won't let me go

Now that I have Depression
I don't have to wait for Joy
For her to come home to me
Not anymore.

*** is ice cream
But Love is whipped cream
                  with the cherry on top.

Next time you crave for plain vanilla

Ask yourself:
Do I want the toppings too?