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Nikita Sep 2015
I don't want to lose you
But I'm scared
That you will never talk to me again
That I'll never hug you again

And I'm terrifyed
Completely terrifyed
That you aren't scared
That you wouldn't mind if we never crossed paths again
That you could happily live on knowing I died

All I've ever wanted to be is a hero
I want to be a good person
A kind person

But to you Im a monster
Im the villian and far from being a good person
I just want my mum back.
Nikita Sep 2015
The wall clock ticks like the timer on a bomb.
I can't stop it, reverse it or slow it down.
Each tick drags me forward, helpless and nervous to the allotted time.
I can no more avoid it than the beating of my own heart as it pounds with futility against it's cage of bone and cartilage.
The dread is an invisible demon sitting heavy on my shoulders and only I can hear the sharpening of it's knives.
I sweat and become pale, then the tremor in my hands begins.
Nikita Sep 2015
I'm trying I swear
I never wanted to the monster
I never wanted to cause fear

Its harder than it looks
Trying to keep a smile or a straight face
When you're seconds away from bursting into tears

I just want my family
I just want my friends

But I guess I'm too talented at ******* things up
****
Nikita Aug 2015
I feel as though Im out
Im free
I can be who I want to be

Im no longer trapped in a place I used to call home

For home is where you're truely happy
Which for me is elsewhere
Nikita Aug 2015
Drama
Chaos

Raised with it
Raised for it

I want to be kind
I want to have a sweet mind

But forever I will always be what my parents raised me to be
Nikita Aug 2015
Dressing up isnt me
It makes me feel like an object

Yes, I like to look nice
Yes, I care about what I look like
But it's the constant worrying of not looking good enough that gets me

What to wear
What to say
What do I do with my hair
What do I do with my face
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Nikita Aug 2015
Green eyes
Blue eyes
Brown eyes
Hazel eyes
Yellow eyes
Turquoise eyes
Deep eyes
Dark eyes
Detailed eyes
Simple eyes
Light eyes

I dont know about you but they are all incredibly beautiful to me

Instead of focusing on someones appreance, just focus on their eyes because you'll be sure to fall in love with them forever
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