Mountain Climber, how idiotic, mistaking a cacti for a rock.
And how ironic relying on cactus to hold you up.
It's roots became your lifeline.
But, you're blood dripped like cheap whine into the dirt.
I know what it's like to hold on to something when all it does is hurt.
Because, you're afraid if you let go, You won't survive.
Were all just trying to stay alive.
But if you let go you just might not make it through.
Mountain Climber,
Don't you see, That's why I'm still holding on to you?

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn

I'm tired.
tired of being sad
tired, of the things we said,
we'd never do, but then we did.
tired of the f l a s h b a c k s, from when I was a kid.
And Jeez, I'm tired, of hearing "I'm Sorry"
especially in my own voice.
I'd live without apologies.
If it were my own choice.
I'm just tired,
tired of you.
tired of being used.
tired of bleeding out.
tired of being bruised.
Just tired.
of laughing without being amused.
tired of fake smiles.
tired of traveling sixty miles for a second of your time.
tired of all these floating words that rhyme.

Do you ever feel too tired for sleep, or so it seems?
I think, I'm just tired of seeing you in all my dreams.

At five, A prisoner of his own home.
At fifteen, A prisoner of his own mind.
At seventeen, imprisoned. Because the world's not always kind.
Born to be a prisoner.

"how sinister.
you know they don't have feelings."
give them nothing extracurricular.

Then we'll put them in a rubber room,
when they start talking to their ceilings.

Tell them, they can not touch their visitor.
Tell them, this will teach them to be a better listener.

Forced, to give them free food so you make it taste like vinegar.
make them feel worthless because they're a Criminal
A Prisoner.

"You may not touch your Visitor"
You may not hold your baby sister"

We'll give you cable and free meals.
Just not at your family table.
No one cares how the young man feels.
He's a criminal.
A prisoner.

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn

Isn't this what you wanted?  
for me to write about you?
But I had no sad stories to tell.
You never made me want to bleed.
there was not one suppressed feeling,
Or depressed thoughts needing to be freed.
well,  I don't know how to deal with what I'm dealing with.
Shoulda never planted that seed in your head,
That you might be happier with her instead.
The most selfless thing iv'e ever done.
But, I've never felt more helpless, Hon.
I've never   f e l t   like this.
But, these are the cards I've been dealt with.
No, they're just the cards I played.
God, what was I thinking, If I had begged you, you might have stayed.
But, Once you've laid your cards down, you can't change your mind.
Like once you messaged her, there was no way to rewind.
I'd do it all different, If I could do it all again.
I want to tell you why you're significant, But don't know where to begin.
Maybe, that I'm writing this a little before
4 A.M.  
And I won't be getting sleep.
I'm not trying to condemn you, that's not your fault.
I could be counting sheep.
But I know laying in that bed will only make me weep.
I'm too regretful to be tired.
Wish I was forgetful.
But in my Heart, Body and Mind..You're still desired.
I'm sorry you thought I was pushing you.
But your words were crushing me.
I hope you two aren't rushing into things.
I still want you to be with me.
And it's much harder letting go, when I can still hear you saying "no".
But our love is a stretched rubber band.
I'm holding one end, and the other's in your hand.
If one lets go before the other, one of us will get hurt.
I can get hurt, that doesn't bother me.
But, we can both let go at the same time, and no one gets hurt, you see?
I'm sorry if you felt pushed.
I thought it would feel better than  trapped.

the point is, I'm just afraid..that our rubber band has snapped.

© copyrighted *Nicole Ann Osborn