Set the alarm
Lock the doors
Lock the windows
Lock the shutters
Find the cricket bat – “put it by your bed”
Say goodnight to mom and dad

Although young, not naïve
I knew every night had the possibility of being my last

A routine that is now muscle memory.

Fear –
You may think
But life –
Normal for me.

Wake up
Turn off the alarm
Unlock the doors
Open the windows
Open the shutters
Put the cricket bat in the cupboard

Never being able to be left alone at home. Unwillingly dragged from store to store.

But – that’s the thing –
People don’t know the real Her,
They know the exquisite scenery, the unforgettable wildlife
They don’t know… But I do.
Because She is my home
Because being in constant fear for my life –
is normal.

Confused –
What do I tell people about Mother when they ask?
The person who raised me, taught me how to be grateful, how to ride a bike,         how to love.
Do I tell them? Will I scare them?

Although hidden beneath the tyranny – I would say –
the bloodshed
the faces of malnourished children left for dead on the side of the road the poverty struck soil the corruption      the greed the hunger the death the separation of class and race

Although a place feared –
Africa.

My Africa –
Whose sunshine you feel ignited in your soul
My Africa –
Whose smile is irresistibly contagious
My Africa –
Whose heart lies in the grassy terrain
The golden dunes of sand
The never-ending mountain tops
My Africa –
Who is the heart of various people
           cultures
   languages
          All who call Her home.
She is –
Where my heart lies even if I am thousands of miles away
Where my mind wanders from day to day.

Her air, instantly calls you
Her smell, instantly smelt
Welcoming you ever so dearly –
      Home.

Like all good mothers,
She is the one who can handle both the tranquil and turmoil,
the love and war.

She is my home. She is who I fear of disappointing.

My Africa –
is beautiful.

a message from the past
as azure and astute
as it was back then

it's always been there
as benign and berated
as it was back then

you asked me, so i kept it safe
as amazing and astounding
as it was back then

and it's always been there
as begun and begotten
as it ever was back then

it's a symbol of what everything means to me now
a sneaky, subliminal confirmation of how
you trusted me right from the very beginning
that didn't decide what i thought i'd be bringing
it's something that's closer than ever before
and it's hidden behind an impossible door
so i've worn this thing around my neck
each and every night that i've gone to bed
since i made that re-acquaintance
as if i ever had the patience
or all the gratitude in the world

this is how you always will be
etched into my memory
that's how you got me
a brilliant mind
naughty, for sure
(perfect)
instantly pure
ostensibly kind
that's where you will be
ingrained within my memory
this is how you always should be


okay, i've missed out on a jackpot
but not for lack of trying
slithered past the sweet spot
put up with all the lying
spread out like an ink blot
too intricate to die in
it isn't what you haven't got
it's what you put it in
but the one thing that i'm not
is what you'll always be
behind the blind, beneath the rot
between the mensch and me
i totally gave it my best shot
now finally you're free
the space behind the parking lot
the colours that we see

i don't think i'll find anyone quite like you ever again
you fattened me up, only to rip me apart, and then
we made a decision to start all over again
and we did it again
and again and again
forever and ever, amen

he represented all of us
a lucid mind
and a giving soul
the sharpest wit
and a focused goal
in a broken body

i still have my first copy of a brief history of time
and the things he said in it are still as sublime
as the subject it tackled, the passion, the rhyme
it will resonate through me in space and in time
for as long as i'm in the horizon

what do i do?
doesn't matter, i guess
she said so