sometimes i think i change too much
i changed, i thought we'd keep in touch

i change my mind
i change my hair
i change the things i want to wear

i guess that change is part of life
but sometimes change feels like a knife

you were so young, and she was too.
neither of you knew what death felt like but would understand soon.
you used to play together when you felt that you were alone.
she was there for you, she was your backbone.
you were her sunshine when she had those rainy days,
you brought out her beautiful personality when she was feeling gray.
you beamed off each other like the two stars in the sky.
life was a dream, neither of you expected her to die.

she passed away only 7 years ago.
you did not understand at first, but your heart felt like it had no home.
your best friend had disappeared and never came back.
now because she is gone, your happiness is at a lack.
you still see her sometimes in your dreams,
or when you close your eyes just to breathe.
you can imagine running down the hallway beside her, you and your best friend.
you made a promise to stay together until the world came to an end.

her funeral was as dark as the midnight sky,-
your mother comforted you but all you could do was cry.
your tears ran parallel to the raindrops outside.
your father told you to stand up tall and so you tried and you tried and tried.
but the sorrow that had been dropped on your shoulders was weighing you down.
all that was left of you was the recurring feeling of dread and a permanent frown.
for the next week the teacher watched you because you did not accept what had happened before; you stared blankly at the ceiling and then at the floor.
your eyes became paler with each day, but you did not want it to show.
the teacher finally realized after two weeks and you were sent home.

she did not follow you, but her memory was haunting.
every breath you took and action you made was taunting.
you wanted to move on but could not forget;
it is seven years later and thinking of her is a threat
to your well being and your mental state
all you can think about is what went wrong and how you were too late.
you believe it is your fault, but it is not.
it is simply life, your memories will rot.

e.knocks

i always said that loving two people at once does not exist
until recently
as i have fallen
twice

e.knocks

it's the winter
and my fingertips are cold
my eyes are tired
and my bones feel old

it's getting harder to stay
even though you are here
follow me close
i may disappear

i dream about you
all the time
i dream about you
are you mine?

drinking again
has opened my mind
i forget things
but i won't leave you behind

every sip of alcohol
that i take
burns my throat  
and i start to ache

i dream about you
when i drink
for you, my love,
i will not sink

e.knocks

my life is like,
I'm hanging,
from the edge of,
a building,
a really high building,
I reach out with one hand,
hoping someone,
will grab it and pull me up,
but there is no one,
from the glass,
people are looking,
at me,
some ignoring,
some thinking,
I am smiling at them,
so they think I'm alright,
but at one point,
I let go of the building,
and I feel relaxed and scared,
the sound of wind rushing,
Past my ears,
and my clothes flapping,
my stomach is in knots,
and I hit the ground,
with a crack,
a brief pain,
and I'm numb,
my vision is white light,
and my life flashes,
it was a fright,
and slowly my vision goes dark,
and everything is black,
on that date,
I realised people don't care,
until it's too late,
I was done trying to survive,
I let go of a building,
called life!