Never ask
when is your time
everything will be fine
if death is an escape
then dont be in rush

Struggles isnt just for a day
pain will linger too
even when you pass
it will stay
to those you loved
to those you prayed

struggle with them
mourn and cry
cause if death is an escape
then be afraid to die
Death is an escape
for alone
the living will tell your tale
and will feel your pain
cause it will hurt
more than you know
like a thousand cuts
for them alone

They will asked why
with tears
that you cant dry
for you left in pain
and not in peace

a hole in their hearts
that will never be filled
cause when you escaped
it was through that hole

So live a life
though
shattered and broken
it will be fixed
not by you
but with life itself
It will make a way
so that there will never be a hole
to be filled
but whole you
will be in its place.

I said I was hurt
they said I was overreacting
I said I was fine
they said am I sure?
I said what I felt
but I was told what to feel
I told them I will be fine
they said what was the problem?
I told them the truth.
Now they thought im lying.
I said my goodbyes and farewells
they said okay
Now the line
I will be fine
is in the present
cause Im okay now
without the "they"
I am "me"

I stared into the field
thinking if when my
heart would be healed
as I watched the cloud
and
listen to my heart beat loud
cause the shadows of the doubts
are chasing me
making me believe
I want something
I don't.
Making me believe
of the what ifs
hunting me like
the rose isn't red
but pastel pink
yes i'm daydreaming
hoping in it
my what ifs are true

How does one move on
when everyone wants you to cry
telling me, I kept it all inside
but I know its lie
cause It already killed me
a couple of times
the feeling I mean
it hurt like the world
just stopped producing memes
yes it was hard
but I need to bounce back
and fill myself of what I lack
cause when its time to be happy again
I wont have to hide a lie
behind these smiles.

Who is that in the Mirror? I think she knows
Reflection of a confused face
with a story of what ifs and woes
as she stares deep into her soul

She wasn't sad for all she know
but the what ifs
is in control
all the details and all her thoughts
just cycles through
in her mind

but don't get her wrong
she keeps it inside
locked in and sealed
with a sweet rainy smile
cause she loved the rain
and her clouded thoughts

Clouded skies & clouded thoughts
she wanted to paint with pastel pink
for with that she is control
even if with all the what ifs
cause the cloud is now her fave
the color that she could sighhh
with relieffff

warm blankets and cold winds
heavy rain
outside the window pane

its a happy day
you see
remembering all my dears
while holding the memories near
cause I remember the days
were my friends
are all genuine and true
the smiles , the laughs
and all the tears
we shared
that glowed like the sunflower
that's filled with the power
of our sun.

Its a good day
to be happy and free
its cold out
and
its okay to stay in this warm bed
all cozy and still

I'm happy you see
staying in this cold breeze
drinking this bubble tea
feeling loved
while wrapped in these
soft blankets
and
a hand inside
my purple jacket

Yes
its a beautiful day
like happiness
tucked inside
a happy basket