When I was small,
I picked out an Aquaman action figure
Out of a bin at the secondhand store
He was missing a leg
Most of the paint worn off at his joints
But he was brand new to me
And what my mother could afford
I made up a story
About how his enemies had hurt him
How he'd defeated them
Became stronger
Was world reknowned for his powers
I loved him and this love fixed his brokenness
One perspective change made all the difference
I am like this.
Not broken, just reimagined.

In the afternoon sunlight
Weakened by September mist
A scent trail sails by wind
Bourbon and sea salt
Inhaling deeply, 1..2..3.. breaths
I almost thought I'd see you
Emerging from shadows and fog
I faintly feel your fingertips
Carried to me by the breeze
Shivers spiral down my spine
You've been missing from me
For 100 Friday afternoons
Why do I still look for you?

Bare feet sinking into snow
Prickling creeps up my ankles
Little knives embedding and climbing
Swallowing hungrily
Bitter blasts of cold air
Choking, tensing, tightening
Nerves peel back like wallpaper
And I felt it all,
I knew I was still alive

You matter,
If not to me,
Then to someone,
And if not to anyone at all,
I hope at least to yourself.
You may not know this,
But you're laugh is like music
And it plays in people's heads
Long after you leave the room.
Your eyes are what inspire love poems,
Poems that don't ever do them justice,
Someone is thinking about those eyes right now.
If your sadness is going unnoticed,
That doesn't make it any less valid,
I hope you find a warm shoulder to cry on soon.
Your pain is not a sign of weakness,
And I'm sorry if you feel ashamed of it,
You are lovable, not "despite of" but "because of"
Your body is beautiful because it is yours,
It is holding you together right now,
It is lovable, you are loving, so love it.
You are as magical as Christmas mornings,
As miraculous as the universe you live in,
As awe-inspiring as sunsets over oceans.
You exist.
And I love that about you.

I am always outgrowing my shells
The new ones never fit quite right
I just want to feel like I belong here
Like something was made just for me
I am tired of being too much of myself
One day my shell will grow with me
The world will say to me,
"You, Hermit, are just enough,
You, Hermit, have a home here."

I didn't say hello
When he walked in
I never say hello
It is a big, big word
A concrete foundation
To make houses in human beings
I can't be sure I want to make my home
Or that I'll know how to find the exit
When the hearth gets cold
And the coffee is stale
When shelter turns to a prison
I stumble out of Saturday morning
It is a big, big word
And he builds big, big houses
But he never feels like home for long

I wear my shame
Like a damp blanket
I'm sweating through
These sheets
And losing sleep
Over memories
**** these thoughts
Like a fever kills sickness
**** these dreams
Like a fever kills peace