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  Apr 2015 Lexi Dvorak
Denxai Mcmillon
I'm, too;
caffeinated to sleep,
****** to be awake,
Anxious to be thinking
And
Afraid to ask for a hug.
As a result,  
I'm  thinking about God, death and us.
To be honest, I'm not even sure
which I'd least want to think about.
I've never had faith in anything, really.
Well, aside from the inevitably of my death,
Which I don't want, yet, I'm not ready.
If God was around,
I'm sure his or her gaze
has been pushed elsewhere.
And
There's us.
Well,
there's you and I.
  Apr 2015 Lexi Dvorak
MKF
I learned today
That our cells regenerate
Every seven years.
It gives me peace
To know that in seven years
My body will no longer know you.
In seven years my skin
Will no longer tingle
At your touch.
In seven years my tongue
Will no longer remember
The taste that your lips allowed.
In seven years my eyes
Will no longer see you
On every street corner.
In seven years my ears
Will no longer hear
The music in your voice.
In seven years my nose
Will no longer smell
Your cologne in my bed.
But I learned another fact today:
Your braincells never go.
How tormenting it is
That you'll be gone from all my senses
But, in seven years, still haunt my mind.
  Apr 2015 Lexi Dvorak
Julian C Jaynes
A friend tried to die.
He tried to escape the iron grip of life.
But he failed.
We managed to get to him in time.
We "saved" him.
He sat in a room for a day,
Coughing.
Retching.
Crying.
He was reduced to nothing more than a sack of flesh,
Only staying alive
Because the human body has an astounding capacity
For forcing you to live, above all else.
As I drew closer, he feebly reached out,
Squeezed my hand,
And held on as he proceeded to apologize.
It was all I could do not to cry.
Later, they shipped him out for rehabilitation.
They gave him drugs.
Until he adjusted to them, they affected his brain so strongly,
He couldn't complete the sentences he started.
He couldn't remember what he just started to say two seconds previously.
He went back home soon, though.
He seems okay.
But I'm not.
A part of me died the day I saw him in that hospital bed.
This was my rock,
The person I looked to when my life fell apart.
Now his life has fallen apart.
Now I have nothing to show me things will be okay.
Now I sit in a pit of depression
Deeper than any I've dug before,
And I can't see the way out.
Attempting suicide is the worst thing you can do to your loved ones.
It hurts them more than it could ever possibly hurt you.
Life gets better.
You just have to reach out.
My best friend of six years just tried to overdose. It had a very traumatic effect on me. I'm glad he's okay now, but I now deal with this stress every day of wondering whether he will try it again or not. I just had to write down my thoughts. I know it doesn't resemble a poem very well, and I hope the entire thing doesn't sound too selfish, but I also hope that someone who reads this realizes that attempting suicide is never the way to go. You hurt yourself, and many others when you try it. Reach out if you're hurting. I promise you, the friends and family that really matter will always help you. They want you to be happy, and so do I. I guess I'll shut up now.
  Apr 2015 Lexi Dvorak
Lottie
Whoever said scars were beautiful
Wasn't really looking.
Scars aren't meant to be pretty,
They're meant to prove something.

They prove that you have lived,
That you were hurt.
Scars show the screaming truth
That life is hard but *possible.
One of our pets got caught in some barbed wire and has obliterated his tail, chest and sides. He was stunning but is likely to have scars
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