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Laila May 3
A perpetual summer on an end of New York.

Whether the warmth comes from inside or out,
spreads across my face or streams down my forehead in daring rivulets.

Stinging my eyes so I cant see the gleaming smiles in front of me.

Longgggg beach with wiiiiide bands of colors that kiss the sky at evenings call. Call

me down, Ill put my ear to the shell and ill close my eyes and ill smell the salt. Ill miss you.

You got in! I'm missing out. Let me help you in. Take that out. Take me out. Ill miss you much.

I want to go on the rocks. One, two, three, jump! They're checking bags, can they even do that? Can

I even do this? Without you? There’s no us if we end here at the end of long beach.

If that graceful sunset absorbs our love sure the saturation goes up a bit but what about me? It's only been gray days since us you know? You know I miss you.

Your days are still in color? Colorful days still exist for you?

My eyes dont seem to follow those rays anymore, I only get occasional sunrays so bright they’re blinding they blind me from seeing the gleaming smiles in front of me, from seeing the glint in my eye in the mirror it still stings that its just me now. Now

that we’re dearly departed.

what will I do without you? What is me without us?

Do you see you without me?

A long beach not so long at all
its the end of our perpetual summer at the end of new york.
Laila Apr 2020
colorful ghosts speed past and pay her no mind
but she shines so brightly
she faces the wall, searching for warmth and stillness in jagged cracks
she reaches out, hand running against the callous stucco of the wall
it is
a choice
for fun
but she does not miss the colorful ghosts
and the darkness that seeps through the cracks
beckons her further in
welcomes her home
until she is so far submerged in the unknown
that for once
she is unsure
but the darkness holds a warmth
that those phantoms couldn’t fathom
shadows envelope her light
the colorful ghosts finally still
they cry out
they never got to taste her warmth
Laila Apr 2020
when we get out
when i get out, i will dance with my eyes closed and my heart full
with my friends
we will sing songs
excited and pitchy and a little too loud
like our heart beats
tone deaf, but in sync nonetheless
we will hold each other like never before because now we know that at any moment, that string that connects our hearts and minds could be cut
when i get out i will take you to the moon, we can hop from star to star until we find what we are looking for
i will drive you to the edge of the earth just to hear your laugh and feel your warmth for as long as i can
we will spend hours trying to figure out how to fit our thumbprints together like puzzle pieces
we won’t stop until we get it
when i get out, the sun will
shine a little brighter than it had before
when we get out you will feel my love in every breath, deep or shallow, long or short
puffs of air littered with a trillion swarovski crystal hearts
just for you
Laila Feb 2020
our love flows free
our love falls

our love drips
our love drops

our love crashes
like an insurgent sea of wet love
some days too weak to keep us afloat
some days strong enough to wash away cities

some days flowing from my eyes and rolling onto my cheeks
falling onto my shirt and staining it with regret

some days flowing from my heart
traveling to my eyes

blinding them with lies and empty promises
Laila Mar 2019
the gardener

skipping to a solemn beat
swaying down the row
crouching down, and watching seeing everyone grow
crying silent tears
and nurturing all,
all except one

untiring, yet wondering when life will be done
gardener gardener
you’ve helped me grow
showing me how change is good
“like this, like so”
gardener gardener
when will you sprout
when all your little seedlings are watered, grown and out?
it may be too late
you’ve missed your chance at your ideal fate
collecting all your dreams,
and shoving them into a crate
for now winter has come,
and you’ll have to wait.

Laila Jan 2019
I didn’t ask for your “constructive criticism”

but you don’t care

Your words leave me stuck in a bitter prism

Just me, no one else is there

I’m alone with words

They bounce around creating whirlwinds of trouble and love

trouble and love
you’ve caged my dove
with your unsolicited advice

little bits of self love that were slowly gravitating towards each other
now scatter away like mice
Laila Jan 2019
it was an accident
but his hand was warm on my skin
he has branded me
my soul in color again
burning bright
stinging like a *****
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