Injured from the outside..
Bleeding from the inside...
I'm touched and my body wants to suicide..
Got so far and all I have is the desire to die..
I lost my human side..
Searching for a therapy that can heal my mind..

Under the moon light...
I stayed awake overnight...
Crying and praying with a broken heart....
Waiting for the daylight....
Wishing and hoping something goes right...
I've started what I cannot restart...

I was a dead body for a long..
And from now wish just nothing goes wrong..
I've been waiting a long....
With a frozen blood and painful song..

Candle faith becomes less in length...
And fire flare started losing it's magic strength...

I've gone away with no words to say....

I've been where none have seen...

My precious poor heart is crated...
Beats very slowly and confused for what i've created..

My tongue attached in a deeply closed cell..
In a range of concerns with nothing left to tell..

Winds of past began to chase...
Searching for a memory was lost in the spacious space...

I'm dying..I'm done..
Suffering on my own..
Forever alone and entirely unknown..

Every breath I take..I get more pain...
Tied with an unbroken grief cursed chain...
But something keeping me alive..
Something giving me power..
Such a bright shine flower..
something telling me : You got the key and im gonna set you free..
stop grumbling and complaining cuz you're not the only broken tree..

Yesterday I was five years old and now am eighteen..

Dear past...
Why are moving too fast..
The flame of longing burns my veins..
And I'm trying hard and doing my best...
Just to breathe some fresh air and take a deep soul rest...

Dear past..
Please come and see...
For goodness sake...
Am a stormy sea..

I never thought how hard separation is..
Tried hard changing the life course..
But it was too late..
Tried my best to forget..
But it's just getting worse..

Used to see their lovely faces every day..
Every second, every moment..
But today everyone just walked away...

It takes me one second to remember but my whole life to forget..
                                        

Oh dear past..
I have always been wondering the way I feel..
Ohh dear past..
Seems This wound will never heal..
Ohhh dear past...
If you just could heal that damaged heart...


Ohh dear sky..
I wish I can fly...
Ohh dear sky..
Take me high..
Ohh dear sky..
Make me a soulless star..
Oh dear sky..
I wish I'm blue and blank like you..

Dear friends..
If I just knew..
How hard being far away from you..
But and unfortunately..
There's nothing left to do..
Your leaving left two things..
Joy,that will never be regained...
And pain that I don't wanna go through again..

If only life could be same again..
Farewell my friends,farewell...

When the fluffy voice of the winds is howling..
And the clouds turn gray..
The rain starts falling..
And the shiny sun gets away..

When the people run..
And everybody hides..
A Dreamer from the shadows rise..

When I Open my mind..
And look at the sky..
My heart beats fast inside..
And my caged Soul wants to fly..

Tears of happiness shine such a shiny star..
And my feelings drift away...
My feet take me so far..
And I got no reason to stay..

People say what's wrong..
And I say..
I just hear a different song..
They say..
That boy is no more long sane..
And I reply..
Does everyone feel the same pain..!

Oh sweet lovely sky..
If you just realize...
How I feel looking at you through my eye..
Oh pretty blue sky..
If you only recognize..
How I love the way you cry..

They keep telling me..
You are weak,you are wrong...
You are pathetic,you are no more strong..
You are just a shade of a falling tear...
Get yourself outta here...
Or just fly away and disappear..

I say..
It's not about what I hear..
Or sad voices which pass through my ear..
It's about self believing and mastering fear..

They say...
Someone like you doesn't deserve much time to live..
I say..
It's not about how much you can live..
It's about how long you can forget and forgive...

The moment it seems the end..
And life says '' game over ''..
The moment when scary things come into my head..
My heart says think over..
This won't be so bad..
Cuz there is always chance to start over..

So please dearest '' Wounded Sufferer'',
When the pain knocks your heart gate..
Confront it by love and faith..
Face it with a pretty smile and say :

Sorry dear pain..
You need to hold and wait...
Cuz my heart still wide and pure of hate..

Sorry dear pain...
Cuz there are those few brave and lovely..
Those who care and believe in me..
Those whom I with them always want to be..
Those who are my true sweet and strong family..

It starts with a low little whisper deep my head..
With an extremely hard feeling inside..
A feeling that takes me through limitless stars ahead..

Oh my lord..
Is it a given priceless grace ...
Or I'm just being thrown out the space..
Oh my dear gosh..
What are these incomprehensible feelings I sense..
Somebody.. somewhere..
Someone appears and slap my face..
Sounds my soul has been taken into a madness place..

What on our tiny earth is going on..
looks the clouds shadows I chase..
Where in life have I been gone..
Seems the vast sky winds I race..

Asking myself wisely..
Is it just me..
Or every single thing I see,smell,hear and feel is being so madly..
Don't know ! ..
Seems my feelings driving me crazy..
Most of time walking and dreaming lonely..
Cuz no one has ever seen and felt that lunacy inside of me..

I wanna fly away..
I wanna go in higher spaces..
See the moon,the stars..
And fill up the empty places..

Mind blocked,can't find an answer anymore.
The least I know..
Things aren't same way they were before..
And clear truth I see..
They're getting epic,unexplainable,stronger and even more..

Yet,
Till last breath..
Being mad,being crazy..
The craziest I feel,see,smell or hear..
The thing that matters..
Am just so lucky for being real..
And less thing I can say...
Thank you god for bringing me here..

We're living in a world like the matrix. All we can do is try to make sense of one another's actions and be patient. Reality truly is only what you make it to be. Everything you see is energy, neither created, or destroyed. When we deployed our troops overseas did we ever see the underlying reason. Too many of us are more concerned with the shifting of seasons (The news.) Sometimes I believe it's the eye in the pyramid, then I remember that evil is what you make it, that's why I became a Mason. Its ironic that Saddam was going to sell the oil for Euros. Then Bush came into power and the federal bureau blew up the towers only hours later, we as a nation received confirmation that Iraq was our target for invasion. But how can we blame them as we fuel our cars with the blood soaked tar sands from this foreign land that none of us care to know. Why should we show compassion for fallen soldiers that gave their lives so we would have automobiles that drive. It seems that our demise was prophesied way back in biblical times. I don't find it likely that we'll open our eyes to the lies fed to us from birth. This is my home, this is planet, Earth.