Why did I convince myself that you love me the same way I love you?
Back at square one, I kneel on the floor and curl up into a ball of tears.
Why did you tell me you love me, you want to be with me, you want me?
Why did you reject me, why did you hurt me and encourage my fears?

How are you going to tell me you don’t know if I’ll still be into you in a month when I waited nine months for your phone call?
How is it I allowed you to come back into my life and replace all my progress with illogical fantasies that will never, ever occur?
How is it I still blame myself for your confusion, that I will still give you all of my love? ALL of it.

For all the tears I've shed because of you,
For all the nights my thoughts were spiraling because of you,
For all the months I've wasted on you,
For everything, after everything, for you.

People like you die young, she said
You don't drink, don't
do drugs, eat healthy, rarely
go out, rarely meet new girls

But you keep on writing, boy, you
keep on writing
and that's enough to outweigh
all the above

You'll see

I feel okay,
I feel good
And upside down
And right side up
I feel nice
And cool
And fine and like a jewel!

Maybe everything does happen for a reason
A reason that we can’t wait to know
Yeah, sometimes everything blows
And maybe you think you can’t live without a person
Even though your life with them probably worsened

But,
Look how good it is now!
Ok, yeah, so you might have a slight cough,
But you feel fine and like everything is alright.

And you try your best to be distracted
And not to think about the bad stuff
And you love and laugh
But a little more cautiously this time
And, okay, well I guess you don’t open up as easily anymore
Or say much about yourself to anyone, anymore
Or do anything with your friends, anymore
But that doesn’t stop you from smiling and shining
And it certainly won’t stop you from styling and dining
Or dialing and defining!

But right now I feel okay,
I feel fine and not in despair and I don’t want to cry
I’m not going to cry over someone that I treated right
That didn’t want what I had to offer
Because I deserve more
Than to just crawl to my floor
To lay like a corpse.

I feel okay,
I feel good
And upside down
And right side up
I feel nice
And cool
And fine and like a jewel!

I wish I were made of stone
So your words would never hurt me
I wish I were cold as ice
Then maybe I wouldn't be lonely

I wish I were made of steel
So my strength would never waver
If only I could turn back the clock
To a time when I felt safer

But I'm only flesh and bone
And your words have left me bleeding
My heart is torn apart
It's a wonder it's still beating

You made up your mind
Given me your final answer
What we shared is in the past
Time to write a brand new chapter

I will fix my broken heart
Some how piece it back together
It may never be the same
It'll bare this scar forever

But I'll be strong, I'll be alright
Though I'm not as hard as steel
And I can't turn back the clock
In time....my heart will heal

Sure, it’s been months
And I know you won’t be back
But I can’t help but say,
I’ll still wait for you.

someday it will
come again.
someday someone
will come in.

a star
with the deepest depths in the eyes
with the gentlest of breaths
and endless soul in the smile

one day
i'll forgive this pain
not forget -
forgive.

i gave you my everything, you were my everything
how am i supposed to get over you now
when i have nothing
and no one
and nowhere to go