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Gray Nov 2018
if i grabbed a handful of little red pills
and put them in my mouth,
would anything matter?

or would the world just fade to black
and forget about me
  Nov 2018 Gray
Ray Ross
The first time taking off my binder,
I breathed a heavy breath,
And tried not to cry.
I had an item in my hold
That could make me happy for a day.
I had found my key.
Now I have trouble taking it off,
Because at the end of the day,
I still want to be happy
Gray Nov 2018
you
in me, i see you—
a young man, small, timid;
dark hair, dark eyes

stubborn, irresponsible—
full of bad decisions

somebody who has no control
someone who has no freedom

for whom love is not enough
who has everything that he could ever want and still be unhappy
a home
a family
some faith in the universe
you still want more

in me, i see you
and that is something i wish wasn’t true
based on my non existent relationship with my dad. nobody knows where he is anymore. fun fact: my mom said i get my ****** judgment from my dad... yayyy
Gray Nov 2018
a boy who never knew his father
who’s mother feels more like a stranger more than anything
a boy who finds more solace in his friends,
than he ever could from family
a boy with a body that doesn’t feel like his own
who has no one to share his pain with because “he’s fine”
who lets everything build up until it all crashes down
because “boys don’t cry”
so y’know what
he’s alright
he’s a boy who isn’t broken
at least not yet
if anything he’s cracked
a piece from a while ago
  Nov 2018 Gray
Ray Ross
I look at my chest the way I'd look at a wound
I know it's a part of me,
I know it's there,
But it feels temporary,
And a little gross,
Like when I sliced my thumb
On glass at 1am.
My binder is a bandage
And it's hard to take it off,
Because I feel the wound open up,
And my back hurts from wearing the bandage,
But it's so much better than
Seeing where my skin splits in two
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