I have become comfortable with being uncomfortable.
I am just learning how to deal with this new territory.
I have become aware of this stage I'm on.

Forget the crowd and try to stick to the script.
Try to join the actors.
Try to be more of a team player.

Use the props that you are given.
Feed off the rest of the cast.
Feed off the audience.

Play your role.

Do you ever get the feeling that everyone you know is hiding something from you?

Like a big dark secret about yourself that no one dares to tell you?

Well, that's how I feel most of the time.
Trying to decode every sentence, every word, every letter.
Thinking about all the outcomes.
Watching every movement surrounding you.

I forget myself most of the time.
How could someone actually forget that they exist amongst others?

To take yourself out from your own life and focus on others.

I like to see it as superpower.

To be fully distracted.

To the point you can't remember how you felt in the most important days of your life.

To the point you can't stand yourself for one hour because what I see is a stranger.

To the point you can't hear your own thoughts because they're shouting.

You peel
back the
        skin
& we are
the same,
hearts
     beating
beneath flesh,
       organs
translucent
as scaly fish
beneath the
        surface
of a lake,
life clearer
now judged
by the
weight of
        a soul,
almond
shaped versus
deep bowl
too heavy
          to hold,
things obscure
before stand
        clear as
stars pressed
         against
the night sky,
as your red
twisted veins
hand
in hand with
           mine.

I have revised love letters
to contend with the headers
to change always and forever
to thanks for the effort.

© Matthew Harlovic

She sat there alone and cold and naked
I picked her up
Put her in a jar
I really didint think
The little sun flower
Would make it