I’m coming clean.
I was never made to live in constructed places.
I was never made for careless lovers.
I was never made to beg for fortune.
Now I’m coming clean.
I’m made for the universe to live among galaxies in open spaces.
I’m made for the peoples fragile hearts.
I’m made for giving love for life in return.
I don’t want you to stop playing with my heartstrings
No one does it as well as you do.
Play your nostalgic songs on me.
Hums and rhythms of our past.
Cover me in memories and last words.
Immerse our bodies with the warmth of solitude.
Let’s meet in our beautifully imagined fantasy.
Because, I have to say.
There’s a home in me where you used to be.
A phantom figure claiming to be you is all I can see.
We can still laugh.
With all of this we can still laugh.
When sorrow consumes you.
When thoughts destroy you.
When memories haunt you.
When mistakes find you.
When you grab your chest trying to help your lungs to breath.
You can still laugh.
After it all exhausts you.
When all that is left is forgiveness.
When all that matters is gone.
When all that left you empty makes you whole again.
When all that is felt is love.
When all you can be is kind.
When everything is said and done, you are the only one.
I'm not what I claim to be I'm merely a shell of what I used to be.
I'm not what I need to be I'm merely a shell of what I meant to be.
I'm not what I want to be I'm merely a shell of what's left of me.
I'm not what I seem to be I'm merely a shell of what's in front of me.
I am who I am and I am as whole as I want to be.
Fooling myself again and again as I amuse me.
Fill my time as you set me free.
The waters are calling me and I can’t seem to move.
The waters are shouting my name but I can’t begin to voice a sound.
I long for the waters to wash over me.
To wake me up.
The waters are calling my name and I can’t seem to respond.
The waters are calling and I’m asleep.
The waters are shouting and I’m numb.
I dream of oceans welcoming me in.
I dream of oceans washing over me.
The waters will stop calling my name and I will be gone.
The waters will stop shouting.
I will stop dreaming.
I’m way too deep in the quick sands of the dessert to ever hear the ocean calling my name.
I will build monuments high enough for you to see.
I will build sand castles until you reach me.
The oceans are howling my name once again.
The oceans will never hear the cry of the wolf within.
Pause for a while.
Let them keep up with you.
Keep up with yourself.
You will never see those faces again.
You have lost so much.
You are designed to heal after every wound.
You have loved so much.
You are still losing battles.
You will never stop fighting.
You are still a writer.
And you will always remember.
Pause for a lifetime.
Let them listen.
Listen to yourself.
You will never hear those voices again.
You have gained so much.
You are born to heal those you love.
You have been loved so much.
You are still chasing silver linings.
You will never stop trying.
You are forever a writer.
And you can never forget.
Do you ever get the feeling that everyone you know is hiding something from you?
Like a big dark secret about yourself that no one dares to tell you?
Well, that's how I feel most of the time.
Trying to decode every sentence, every word, every letter.
Thinking about all the outcomes.
Watching every movement surrounding you.
I forget myself most of the time.
How could someone actually forget that they exist amongst others?
To take yourself out from your own life and focus on others.
I like to see it as superpower.
To be fully distracted.
To the point you can't remember how you felt in the most important days of your life.
To the point you can't stand yourself for one hour because what I see is a stranger.
To the point you can't hear your own thoughts because they're shouting.