Thou art a gnashgab mewling wretch,
Thy face doth like a codfish stretch!
Thou art a boil-brained muck-sprout,
A maggot-pie with addled snout!
Thou fustilugs, lily-livered mumblecrust,
Thy wit hath gathered quite some dust.
Thou art a motley-minded lout,
A hedge-born knave without clout!
Thou art warped and wayward sock-knocker,
A cumberworld, a scobberlotcher.
A flibbertigibbet, saddle-goose fool,
Who'd lose a battle with a stool!
Thou art a shrivel-headed apple-john,
A dalcop, pribbling bobolyne!
Away, thou canker-blossomed pest,
With thou weather-worn poorly-mannered jest!
©️Lizzie Bevis
This poem was inspired by my daughter who was giggling at Medieval insults, I think that it is safe to say that old English insults were quite colourful!
A modern English translation for those left scratching their heads!
Medieval Mud Slinging
You are a grumbling, moaning rascal,
Your face stretches like a codfish!
You are a stupid, foul mouthed,
Maggot pie with a muddled snout!
You are a clumsy, cowardly fool,
Your wit has gathered quite some dust.
You are a muddle-headed ruffian,
A low born scoundrel without influence!
You are warped and greatly perverse,
A burden, an idle person.
A chatterbox, a simple fool,
Who'd lose a battle with a stool!
You are a shrivelled apple head,
A foolish, prattling idiot!
Away, you canker infested pest,
With your tiresome, ill-mannered wind up!
I hope that you enjoy reading this poem!