You;
It all began with you.
Not the pills.
I'd never tasted addiction before
Only in the form of sticking my head down a toilet, or smoking 16 cigarettes.
Fall
In winter-
I'd hope you get it
Because every moment at first
Felt like an autumn day. It felt comfortable,
There was joy.
I;
Anxious me.
Anxious, obsessive-compulsive
Me. I needed you like a drug.
I was selfish, and you began to forget
Who you said you were.
Fall,
Like we began to.
But last fall, I didn't feel joy with you.
And I ask myself, late January,
Was breaking down my walls and allowing
You to understand me
Ever worth it?
We;
A perfect picture
Of two high school sweetheart drop-outs.
Of two ******, suicidal fools. And even
At the bottom layer, there were so many things
Only you knew. Know.
All
Good things end.
Or change paths before they do.
This was a twisted path, one I'd never
Dared to think of before I understood,
And I know I must be the grown up here
And say goodbye.
Fall
Will come again.
But I won't think about that for now.
I'll continue to move ahead, paying no
Mind to the ghouls around me.
When I say I plan to accomplish Something, I do it.
Down;
Turn the memories down low.
I am trying to read about my next big
Step in life. And I just wanted to make sure
You knew that you are not-nor will you
Ever be, a link in the chain again.
I'm not going to apologize.