Listen
Hear how the pitch varies yet stays constant
Silence permanently halted by that
Which processes it.
We are forced to mould pain into peace,
Sleep forced into the lack of,
There's no cure.
There's no remedy for calamity.
No homemade soup
or store-bought pills.
We who are diagnosed are dissidents against the police of
silence.
Listen now.
Hear the perfect consistency,
A straight line
in one ear out the other,
Like a power line from one pole
To the next.
It hurts.
A string of pain connecting each ear drum,
making sure that well notice if it misses a beat.
Sadly for us,
It never will.

Her heart
Was the most beautiful place
The only place
I would ever call home.

When need to be with myself
sets in a lonely mood
mind seeks a space to delve
sink in solitude

I slip to that unused room
where a window to the north
paints a sky of white lily bloom
for dreams to merrily birth!

I fly above the town house tops
up the tallest palm
reach the clouds to touch raindrops
drown in deep calm

whiles pass mind travels eon
far beyond the earth
till lands back to anchor on
the window to the north!

A simple crash is all it took
To encourage a nervous and curious look
Into the bathroom where my mother lay
A blood bath around her, in the middle of the day.

Oh honey, please just look away
You should not see this, please do not stay.

Self-help never works, I could finally see
As she covered her tracks, her eyes never leaving me;
But the evidenced razor lied on the floor
And the pile of pills poured out by the door.

Oh baby, please do not let your father know, too
He wouldn’t understand, the way that you do.

And all of my words held deep inside
Hung on my tongue, my lips were dry.
All of the times you spoke only through words
Left me so confused, viewing life backwards.

You are beautiful, and just so pretty
it is the inside that counts, don’t be so petty.

Oh but momma, can’t you see
How do you expect me to love me?
When you have so much hatred towards yourself?
Enough to clear off the medicine shelf,
Enough to starve, binge, and purge;
You always told me to have some courage.
Enough to cut into yourself: thin and long lines;
You always told me, we would be fine.

But how could this painful sight be so?
Please bow now, mommy, an award for your show.