your eyes are the color of walking away;
your mouth is the color of railroad tracks
in winter and every car is holding another adventure
i want to be a part of.
your breath is the color of electricity, and your
teeth are just unwired circuits and your
smile is just another miracle my mother
said i would see one day.
my father spoke of you.
he told me one night as a child
that love was just oxygen. love was
the trees bowing to us. love was just another
natural chemical reaction.
dad, please tell me that this is love.
tell me that this woman is the one.

he runs his fingers up and down her
arms, playing with her veins like they were
guitar strings; the same way i showed him
how to do that in senior year. i can swear
that the days are dark but the light
in him is just enough to brighten
the smile on the girl that he loves. this is the day
i confessed the november tragedy
(i still remember her voice). he simply
looked me in my dilated eyes and told me that
he couldn’t empathize with me, but i just didn’t even
know if i wanted it. the train cars are my father’s
lies and the tracks are my mothers teeth; separated
by a mere four feet gap that i don’t think i see in my
house anymore.

god forgive my parents,
they know not what they did
or what they did to me.

and now we’re standing in a dark room full

of colors and we left our morals in the bowl

with our only means of leaving. we started 

singing lyrics to songs we didn’t know,

but we got lost in the beat so nothing

else really mattered; we became our own beat

and you couldn’t help but smile at my

mistakes because i laughed at yours.

and when you leave, you couldn’t help

but care for my safety and i couldn’t 

even make you smile but mine was sufficient

enough. i can give you heaven, darling.

and it’s just so hard to think when my brain

is full of making pictures about how the sky

would look in your eyes

and how the ocean smells

on your breathe and how the sun looks 

when it alters your hair. tell me

when it’s appropriate that i hold your skin

without wandering wallowing away with

nowhere to head but the top of mine.

play with my words and pick out each syllable

you hate and throw it in the ocean, i need to

hear the waves speak to me at least once.

hold on to my memories because

i want your dna on them, i want to know what it

feels like to intertwine you within my brain.

i believe i grew into my age
when i realized that cavities are holes
and not sugar filled teeth. my heart
has cavities; and i must admit her
lips were sweet.

“show me how you’re different,” she screamed

from her trembling lips underneath the starlit ceiling.

and then she whispered to me, afraid of the angels

hearing her, “show me that you’re the artist who paints

pictures with the backs of his eyelids. tell me that you have

paint transfused in your blood and every time you

cut your veins, you’re really at work and you’re showing the world something

beautiful.” i promised you that the walls of my heart were 

lined with red laced bones and they resembled the birth of

balloons when air is pumped into them. my promises

are about the only thing i can guarantee that won’t shatter like

your heart. “tell me that tonight will never end and tomorrow we’ll

wake up as if the sun never rose again. promise me that 

you’ll remember this exact moment,” i heard her say as i slipped

into my own world. 

i remember the way you bit your lips after they glistened from

the five stars you grabbed from the sky. i still smell that mix of

perfume and lust as if my own father told me about this

during my bedtime stories as a child.  my arms are still imprinted

from where you placed your own as if i was allergic to your

skin and i couldn’t care less for what i was doing. i painted my

walls with the color of your eyes and memorized your breathing

pattern so that one day, maybe i can find an easiness in 

the art of breathing. “goodnight,” she whispered through my ears.
goodnight, angel of the night; your wings have grown but please,

don’t fly away.

we asked the soldiers to take us away

with their shiny guns and fire eyes and you asked them

to interrogate me about why

we put flowers in barrels and how did we really even 

start this. we planned on taking over the world

and opening windows so we could breathe for just

a little bit longer. we were confined to only

knowledge no one really cared about but

we thought it mattered. it felt like

the earth had stop revolving and 

revolutions were occurring inside my skull

like children with new ideas on how to make

their parents happier. thoughts turned into words

and here we are standing naked in front of each other

and i don’t recall knowing about your smile.

crawl onto my skin and tell me every one of your secrets; write them within my veins so i know when your blood begins to turn red again.

kiss me gently because i forgot what it feels like to feel this feeling

and i don’t want you to feel the scars on my lips.

so come away, and turn my words into

actions because tomorrow morning

we’ll tell everyone about the stars and how they

never seemed to go down and how

it felt so ******* good to speak without

speaking and read each other like our favorite books

next to the fire of december.

i don’t think it’s allowable
for me to be jealous of someone i
haven’t ever met but i wonder what
goes through your mind when he says “i love you,
my little starlet.” the other
day i swear i overheard the news reporters
on channel seven
talk about the cinderellas that
walk out of your job because you
give them glass slippers and make their parents
actually love them. in the background,
my roommates are talking to their temporary girlfriends and
they’re whispering “he can’t see anything, don’t
worry about him. he should be used to this by now.”
my mother, she worries about me. she told
me to stick to myself like super glue and the only
thing that should separate me is the sweaty palms
from holding your hand in subway cars at **** near midnight.
i need you now more than anything mom. tell me that
i’m going to be okay and maybe one day, i’ll be happy.
i need more than a shooting star, i need the whole galaxy.