Scrutinizing eyes
All staring at her
They call her a ****
Because she smells
of cigarette and lust
**** society
A smell doesn't tell
The whole story

I'm just trying to be happy
she told me, and I knew the weight of her words
having spoke them before.
A heaviness and loss of innocence linger. I wish
I could comfort her better,
I too am trying to get there,
She knows I love her as one of my dearest friends.

Whatever are we?
Whatever are we like?

These weekends take their toll
on our hardened souls
as we weather the comedown

The splash of water slowly fades
I managed to stop the exploding grenade
The lightning bugs didn’t even bother to buzz
The birds, the cats, the howling wolves, i hush

I quiet the city sound, the busy street
I suppress my heart, every beat
I shut everything, everything to hear you
I silenced the milky way galaxy to listen to you

And then there I heard, i heard everything
The silent cries, the tears pouring
The commotion, uproar in your heart
The emotions wanting to burst

I heard your heart shattering
I heard the blood dripping
I heard every breath you released
As you picked every broken piece

I heard a happy noise
Followed by a cracking voice
You break out a long sigh
Then a very desolate cry

I love the riot in the stillness
Because I can clearly hear you
Every fiber of you
Every sound of you

And for you, my secret love

I will shut the world and open my ears to you
Until the day I finally hear a genuine laugh
I will silence every galaxy in the universe
Until the day you finally hear me too

It feels as if I'm sinking
into the deep end again,
Mulling over the particulars
of nothing, I find myself
longing; wanting, things.
I stare out my window,
Curled up on its ledge
like a feline, discerning
the character of lamplight
and the quality of shadows
cast on a row of houses and
the sidewalk. I am this lost broadcast
of resounding consciousness,
I am a lonesome psychonaut,
and it's possible I'm an apostate
because I do not use drugs much
anymore. I love the dark, the rain

and the tranquility found in a storm.
I am a human with a quiet addiction.

I am a silent fiend.
I am too old to care
and too young to die.