It creeps up inside you without a warning.
One minute I'm sitting there looking at you while we laugh.
Then it hits me,
Like a wave...
A wave of emotion.
I try to suppress it but it won't go away.
For days I question it.
I don't want to feel this way.
It needs to go away.
It'll only hurt.
Only make things worse.
I debate over and over if I should act on it...
Tell you how I feel.
Finally I gain the courage I need.
And I was right.
It only hurts.
Only makes things worse.
Something about feelings....
*****.

Sometimes love is as real, as a mirage in a desert

The day passed on and I ran errands here and there.
Most people would want some time to relax, some time to sit and just stare.
But I try to keep myself busy,
Gotta keep you off my mind, cuz I know later tonight the thoughts of you will keep me up.
The post office, the doctors and the grocery store...
Although I try to keep myself busy you're constantly on my mind.
Everywhere I look something reminds me of you.
And now I'm in the shower and as the water pours down my body,
Tears form in my eyes.
All the memories come flooding back and it hurts me so bad inside.
I wish so much that we could still have what we used to have.
For the way you once looked at me to return.
I wish to see the smile on your face and know I put it there,
To hear you laugh with me without a care.
Where did I go wrong? I always wonder.
All I ever did was care.
Was I not enough? Did you really love me? Did you care?
The nights are even worse.
I lay there awake and thinking about you and wishing we could be.
Dreams don't bring counsel either,
Cause you're always there.
I fear I'll never be over you...
It makes me scared.

How is full enjoyment expected
if every moment we are given
is not fully experienced?
We wish and wait for "better,"
but when we finally get there..
it's right back to the blueprints
to upgrade our definitions
of.. meaning.. of... interest.
I challenge you to see things
not through hopeful, fantastical eyes,
but for the proven presence obtained.
I challenge you
to make something out of nothing..Why not?
You make nothing out of something
every day.
We look right past all the beauty we are given..
and we do not earn this beauty. What a shame
that it is wasted on such careless creatures.
Maintain a sense of face value before your turn is over
and all you have collected from your stay
are wrinkles on your forehead
and a lack of words when confronted with the idea
that you've done nothing with your time.