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slurs the woman in her cups
when I tell her I write poems
late in the lonely evening.

She waves at the air conditioner
that mulches silence to hum lull,
"it's all just chemicals, physics,

actions and reactions, man."
Hard to argue with logic birthed
betwixt brain and frothing marrow

of glassy pint, so I tell her sure, ok,
& move the subject back to her son
who snaps time-lapse photos of ice

abandoning the toes of hills.
Still, her self-certainty rankles:
when I leave I pause and gaze up

at the sprinkled smears wetted
flat across the matte night melt,
any of which might be pouring

purring stanzas from radio teeth,
long-wave nigh-black rhymes
if we had ear enough to listen.

I heave homeward on clock feet,
blackbirds gashing the fog hedge,
as raw verse gnaws my thought.
 Jun 14 Renee C
S E Pope
Have you ever questioned your ****** expressions
Or the sound of your own voice
Have you ever been in a screaming match
Fighting for your right to simply exist

I know that sometimes I laughed too loud
And been happy when it wasn't my turn
If I wasn't on the same page of manipulation
I ended up as the one who got burned

When I say was I was burned, it's true
I have scars from lighters and ***** toothpicks
My head has been bashed into the wall a few times
And I've been locked in a pitch black closet

I've been choked till I thought I was dying
And pulled out of a moving car by my hair
It was just another awesome party
The night I was thrown down a flight of stairs

Anytime I brought someone new around
He took the opportunity to make them his own
In his mind we all belonged to him in some way
We could never leave because his house was our home

I just wanted to be included
And have my own small sense of freedom
These were supposed to be my people
My best friend was the ring leader

We all had our turn at the head of the table
To recover from and participate in his agenda
But he knocked us down one by one to rock bottom
With random pills and bottles of tequila

We weren't allowed to be around each other without him
For fear of putting together these patterns
All of us girls were special to him in our own way
Until someone was singled out to be tortured

I've taken someone to the hospital for being poisoned
And watched his brother almost fall off of a roof
We trespassed in unfinished construction
And helped look for money that was in his back pocket

I was coerced into drinking until I blacked out
Because I trusted him more than my real family
He says he saved my life on a night I don't remember
So of course I owed him blind loyalty

I watched my belt get used to tie someone off
And I pierced my own nose with a nail from the floor
It's a miracle I survived a single night in that place
Some of us now only exist in stories

Our nicknames were not endearing but ruthless
For 8 years everyone I loved called me Ugly
I was too ****** to defend myself into another bruise
So I laughed along and pretended it wasn't crushing

So many of us fell into his sink hole of a heart
And in his room we were lonely but together  
Our friendship no more than a trauma bond he created
A group of damaged kids just using each other

I relished in the moments it was just me and him
When our time was genuine and his love was true
He was my best friend who saved me from myself
But only after getting me drunk and high on his abuse

When things were good he admitted he was the problem
He knew the ***** brought out a dark and evil side
I always forgave him when he apologized profusely  
Dr. Jekyll was my friend but I'm still scarred from Mr. Hyde

Sometimes I still question every little thing I do
And sudden movements will trigger PTSD
But I haven't seen him or been drunk for 10 years now
That smell just takes me back to my gaslit family

There are words to describe his predatory behavior
Narcissism, alcoholism, and a slew of mental disorders
I lost years to smoked out memories I've long since buried
But the day he lost his power was the same day I got sober
 Jun 14 Renee C
Sean Maloney
Words don’t speak-
Not like eyes do
We can promise ourselves for months
But the look we give one another says it too
There’s no secrets between us
It all spews out in a simple glance

I don’t hear the meaning in your words
I hear what’s going on in your head-
The ideas put onto the screen
You’re so readable to me
As if I know what you’ll say before I’ve seen

I can feel love next to you
I can see love in your eyes
I can hear love in your voice
I can be in love with you
And that’s all I want to do

I’d say don’t leave me now-
Don’t leave me ever
But I see in your head-
I see the same dreams, forever
 Jun 14 Renee C
unnamed
The smell of the crayons
in the old coffee can
The feel of the **** rug
beneath me as I lie coloring.
 Jun 14 Renee C
morallygray
Salt Shaker Lady
shake it with me
your umbrella the color of daisies
head pointed down so sagely
felt your taste through tears as a baby

Adult now
realize your expression was hidden
because it was the deepest frown
In every cabinet yet no one knows how
a lady of mystery sitting in sweat on my brow

Salt Salt Salt
i need it with all
yet too much and my heart will stall

Salt Shaker Lady
I do see you
I wrote this about the Morton Salt lady
The most beautiful flower will wither away!
But you my beloved, even in death your smile still lingers in my heart.
And your dazzling eyes still daunt me in my sleep!.
Ten hour shifts
not for the faint-hearted
and definitely not for me,
but She says,
baby
faint heart never won fair lady,
so
I win, I think,

One-nil to me.

She puzzles over this
I blow her a kiss
and slip back into the
dream.
 Jun 14 Renee C
Ryszard
I am not small!

Screams the amoeba in my mind
stoic trees
hearing my plea

Is anything real?

The sentinels guarding heaven
just stare
and have no pity

Why am I here?

As I sink to my knees
******* trees
remorseless in their apathy

the forest weighing pain
by a scale
omitting man

I carve my name in the bark
hoping someone might
remember the fight

If I were a tree
could I see god?
 Jun 14 Renee C
Dr Peter Lim
The quality of happiness of an ordinary person, even an uneducated or lowly one, can be much richer than that of a wealthy or an intellectual person's as it's uniquely its own and can't be compared with that of another.  

Call this a gift or grace but of such I've no doubt at all as I've known such people.

We should never say someone is happier than we are-
what happiness we have, even a little, is itself adequate blessing.
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