it scares me when i get this way
my mind can shut off
i block it all out
and it suddenly feels like the real me

no goofiness fills these bones
no laughter in this soul
just numb
automatic hardship

it's like i've been through something
my souls been trying to come to terms with the last 22  years
it's like i've been trying to scream
yet when i sit and think my mind can't stop
my mouth can't speak
my words are weak

i'll laugh it off
giggly me
that's who they know
she's who i'll be

There is this taste
that I can’t rinse, spit
or rid myself of lately
and it’s not the kind
left behind by a dentist
yanking a wisdom tooth
out or the ****** mouth
from an eighth grade
playground go around
or bad blood in the hood
but something more
like a fight for a life bored
to the bone and hung
out to dry in the sun
having to bite my tongue
on the curse of the irony
of it all that I find too
hard and bitter to swallow.

I saw the sun set
between my toes
and the moon rise
with just one eye
while my mutt Daisy
looked at me sideways
and sighed like maybe
she thinks I’m lazy
and I thought, ****’t
it’s a shame when a man’s
dog makes him feel bad.

I see her in the ocean breeze,
In dark and churning stormy seas,  
honey eyes taste salty air,
She’s curls forming in untamed hair.
I see her in the deepest night,
A starry sky of freckled light,
An asteroid, her fall to earth,
Caused ripples through the universe.

I was ordering waffles at Denny's when a mountain lion broke free, and ate our waitress. I changed my order to pancakes. Even though the manager of Denny's was very nice, my orders said that he had to die.