Think about the way that we live today,
what we preach to our children, what we learn them to say.

Think about how we are spending most of our time,
working for a dollar selling for a dime.

Think about our families take a step back,
on every street people dealing out crack.

Think of our cities and how we rotate,
the people in charge leading the debate.

Think about our planet the damage we've done,
about the crimes, tragedies and the times that we've won.

Think of all the bad things, then think of all the good,
do what's right in life, do what you know that you should.

Think about the way that we live today ,
make positive changes that's all I can say.

Enid turned her wheels
A red flash through
Luscious green
Across the wall of corns

In what felt like
No time at all
The gabble reconvened
Inside the hessian on bread street

Taiyo and Darcy
Evoked the Spanish coast
Fresh faces following
More mature fingers

Frankie and Debs
Move us from Spanish shores
To Antarctica, with penguins
Brian and David

Then comes 'The Man'
Four men , four beautiful men
To play us out and
We don't stand a chance with them now

Today I ended it
I left him

He told me he loves me
& didn't want to be without me

But I can't do it
I can't let him in

So like a turtle
I'll hide back in my shell
& shut out the world

I leave in 43 days
For the hospital & forced medications

& I know this is poorly written
But I feel like I lost myself

I can't do this anymore
I don't know what to do

the same echo that resonates in my fourth story bedroom resonates in my soundless soul and in the ashtray that sits on my window sill
it shouts memories back at me from when we sat there
too dependent to care
before we turned cold and the marrow in our bones began to blacken
before we lost each other; to the ache of life itself
i shouldn’t have introduced you to cigarettes,
i shouldn’t have introduced you to depression or illness or satan himself
you claimed you had been there, you're different now
i’ve stained you with what i’ve been trying to run away from
now you're running away from me
too scared of pain and the void in your gut, i see you in everyone
i see you in myself
and i see myself in you
and i know that’s a cliché--
but it frightens me and settles me all at the same time,
something i don’t want to feel,
you were my home, i don’t have one anymore
i live on the streets looking for some sort of temporary house
to reside in
the homeless nights are the worst.  
i used to vent my emotions to you without using a filter,
my thoughts, my routines, me...
i closed the vent now and pour the feelings into bottles labeled ‘don’t drink,’
i store them in dark, dusty corners
of myself, labeled 'don't enter,'
near ribcages and organs and sometimes i hope that one day,
when you somewhat heal,
and your therapist tells you you’ve done well,
you’ll get drunk off of me all over again… but don’t.
don’t poison yourself,
you’re too good of a human for that and maybe i’ve always been empty
but you filled my void, and i wont pretend that anyone else can.
somedays i wish you craved the toxic drink that i am.

Social situations stress me out.
My head is full of **** and I'm full of doubt.
My friends all say that I should go out,
But social situations stress me out.
I wish I lived in a different time,
Where it was alright to be the quite type.
I'm a ****** in strangers eyes,
The few friends I've got, think I'm alright.

I like hanging out with my shadow,
I like the sounds of the trees.
I find comfort in the dark,
While all my friends are fast asleep.

Inside me, I feel,
All alone and unreal,
Far away, across the sea.
A private island made for me.

The sails cackle and laugh at me,
The sailors point at what they've seen
A crazy man, without a home,
A desperate man, all alone.  

Reality crashes with the waves,
And I am left with the shattered remains,
I try to piece together what ya said,
But it never clicks inside my head.

My Darling, My Dearest
I sink to the dirt,
My regrets swirl around my body like a brides wedding dress.
White lace, virginal unsoiled regrets lay about me lazily-
biting my ankle, scratching up my legs to be held.
My Cherished Treasure,
I will carry my torment like an old man carries his walking stick
Gnarled with time and miles,
before any step I will take-
My regret will mark the path.
And I will walk for all of time with my walking stick. I will walk until I bend over in a broken bridge of bones, all the while letting my regret lead me onward.
My Beloved,
I will wallow in the mud of my sorrows and grief
I will roll and dry, caking dirt on my belly-
like the beast I have become.
My Beautiful,
The wounds that mortification of the flesh will produce-
will be sorry attempts to understand your pain.
The whip braided in tight thick leather
but I can never cut deep so I might
produce enough depth so instead will I bleed-
another sin, another crime!
I cannot feel your suffering-can only guess at the depth.
Oh the endlessly black waters of your sorrow!
I hold my breath, stones piled deep in my pockets.
I dive, I dive...wanting, needing this sacrifice.
But **** this survivalist in me. My lungs betray me-
sputter and cough.
I inhale my water of my sins and breathe them deep so I may drown and
free you from the shackles of my crimes.
My Cherished one, my Shining one-
Forgive this old sinner, forgive this reprobate heart.
For I love you.
When the stars exploded, when universes expanded
I loved you.
When the first blade of grass poked it's willful head above soil,
I loved you.
When first Adam kissed Eve,
I already loved you.
In the next life where you are caterpillar and
I am stump,
I love you then too, and beg you use me to reach closer the sun.
Forgive a fool his foolish ways, he knows no better
Forgive me, cherished one
and let me love you,
Let me love you as the faulted love the Divine. As the sinner loves the penance, as the child loves the stars.
Let me give you the moon, let me put it in on your lips.
So you may kiss the moon, beloved, kiss the moon.

Sahn 7/6/14