I dance alone and countlessly wonder
if you're as confused as I am
I want to fall in love again
I want to find your gaze
and feel violated and connected
and be confused about what it is you mean
and what you mean to me
it's all some sultry dream.
I want your kisses again
I want you in my dreams again.

To my Love:

Destroy
With all the strength you have,
These antique walls that constitute my body.

Excessive solidness,
Excessive height of limbs,
I hear no sound of prayers from your mouth.
Just tear my walls down.

Let me fall in pieces.
Let me slowly bleed on autumn morning.
Unveil me, disrupt me
Like a storm of raging thunders
Washing centuries away.

Undo me and I’ll be yours.
Dismantle me and I’ll be yours, and yours alone.

And once you’re finished come close to me
To build me up again,
To save me from a liturgy of pain
And make me a constellation yet to be
Shaped into the bulky form of galaxies.

I feel like a foreigner
standing on a pier
waiting for word from a lover
across the blue water of tears.

I am silver and exact. I have no preconceptions.
Whatever I see I swallow immediately
Just as it is, unmisted by love or dislike.
I am not cruel, only truthful --
The eye of a little god, four-cornered.
Most of the time I meditate on the opposite wall.
It is pink, with speckles. I have looked at it so long
I think it is part of my heart. But it flickers.
Faces and darkness separate us over and over.

Now I am a lake. A woman bends over me,
Searching my reaches for what she really is.
Then she turns to those liars, the candles or the moon.
I see her back, and reflect it faithfully.
She rewards me with tears and an agitation of hands.
I am important to her. She comes and goes.
Each morning it is her face that replaces the darkness.
In me she has drowned a young girl, and in me an old woman
Rises toward her day after day, like a terrible fish.