I feel insecure
I lose faith
I give in
Repeat x3

Dreaming quietly of my fantasies,
We are in all of them.
But what “we” are is so confusing,
I don’t know where I stand.
Groggily, under the night sky,
I look between the moon and its reflection.
Dipping my hand into its soft light,
I realise it doesn’t really matter which way up is.

let me in when the night grows old
i promise i will be careful

let me into your soul
i swear i will be gentle

give me everything you have ever known
and all the things that i have not
allow me to experience mutual love
and in return i’ll give you all that i have got

I am mesmerised by something standard
You don’t understand
It’s hard to explain.

I will try my best, though
You see, I have baggage beyond description
It weighs down as your brows raise.

I explain that life has not been easy for me, the memories remind me of that all the time
You look at me, confused, bewildered that someone could hurt me as they have
It curves my lips slightly to know that you think of me so innocently.

I don’t know what love is like, I state, my eyes on the floor whilst yours are on me
You ask what I mean, have I not been with someone before, was that not love?
It felt like lies, hurt, deceit to me, their atrocities screaming at me to be quiet now.

I look away, it’s awkwardly silent
You look to comfort me
It doesn’t mean anything.

I relax in my too-far-forward driver's seat. The engine is off, and the outside's cold creeps in. I take a sip of my latte. I ordered a mocha, but I don't feel like complaining tonight, not with you by my side. My playlist makes decent background noise as we talk endlessly about work and our pasts. Your past is infinitely fascinating, bright and full of good memories. I try not to choke on my trauma. "I'd give anything to go back to high school," you say, as I shudder at the mere mention of the idea. One good thing came from my high school experience, and that's my best friend. I don't say this out loud. I smile, nod and listen as you tell your stories about hiding ***** in the drainage and getting stranded in Shropshire. Your eyes are alight with mischief and delight as you remember the good times you shared. I **** my head and watch you talk to me. Silence falls as you finish your story. You look at me expecting a response, an anecdote of my own. I'm too busy doting upon you to notice.

We open our mouths at the same time, both of us attempting to speak, and falling over each other to let the other talk first. We pause, intending to let the other tell their tale, before the giggles erupt. My coffee is gone, but you haven't touched yours. "I can't drink it hot like you do, I don't have a titanium tongue."
"Actually, it's more like asbestos."
We go quiet, enjoying each other's company silently. It lasts all of five seconds, unfortunately, as you complain about my music taste. You're right, it has been all over the place. Rammstein plays in the background.
"No wonder you're an angry driver, with music like this." I chuckle, as you haven't seen half of my road attitude problems. Laughing at your own joke, you spill coffee down yourself.
"Did you get any on my seatbelt?" I can't show too much concern, though I worry he may have burned himself.
"Nah, don't worry, I didn't scald myself, thanks,"
"And what if you had done, do you expect me to kiss it better?" We made eye contact. Neither of us say anything. I break first. Any kind of eye contact is intense for me, but looking you dead in the eye is like looking into the scorching sun. I try not to let my face burn up, and glance down at the dashboard display.

hey there stranger, it’s been a while
months without a single word or smile
radio static
wwwwwww
nothing
wwwwwww
until you could tune in
you heard me call out
. . .  - - -  . . .
- . -  - -  . . .
i was a sinking ship, passing in the night
you were a lighthouse in my twilight hours