Beneath the skin of the world,
there are names no lips have touched in centuries.
They linger in the mouths of ghosts,
curl in the spaces between prayers.
What do we call the ones
who have outlived even memory?
Perhaps nothing.
Perhaps that is the final death.

I watch the harbor through the falling snow
the sky and sea form one vast, gray tableau
the sun is nothing but a weak, background glow
the scene draws me, as if hypnotically.

Five mile’s lighthouse warnings go unvoiced
its strobes not lashing out, so what’s its point
it stands majestically but disappoints
replaced electronically

A tiny lobster boat makes its landward way
towards the inlet from the wider channel bay
a powdery blizzard is underway
which melts into the mirror sea.

Ospreys still hunt round the lobsterman's pride
snowflakes stain them as they soar and glide
other seabirds huddle side by side
shivering and crowing lividly.

Through the narrows the lonely boat steams
past icy Luddington Rock and East Breakwater's breech
its berths and moorings, within minutes reach
and sadly, it’s time for me to leave.
.
.
Songs for this:
Far Far Away (Charles Tone Mix) [feat. Brenda Boykin] by Tape Five
Nobody by Mitski

It's getting on to 4, the sun has not shown itself
all day, the snow is melting, some bare spots of
grass appearing here and there, it's 34 degrees.
The little piles of bird seed I put out at noon on
the walkways have all but disappeared, gangs
of birds have mostly consumed it all, pretty little
ground feeders, of one kind or another. My inside
fat cat has had his nose pressed to the window all
day observing them with wide eyed interest and
quivering jaw, maybe licking his predatory lips.
Even though he has never eaten anything that did
not come out of a bag or can.

I too have enjoyed watching them busily hopping
around feasting, I always wonder where they go
when they disappear. Maybe just passing through
headed south for warmer pastures? Or are they year
round locals? Do they have any idea who put out
the feast, and how does the word get spread, do
they have scouts or lookouts, or some kind of aerial
bird only telegraph system.

At least the freezing weather kept our Barn Cats all
snugged up and off the street, at one point I quick
counted between 40 to 50 winged visiting diners
out there. The cats never even knew they were here.

Watching them feed was almost as much of a treat
for me as it was for them. It made me feel useful,
and that does not happen very often these days.
When we get old it is these little things that matter
and sustain us.

sunset settles behind the trees
and the mayflies rise from the creek
to touch the water to deposit eggs.

the mayfly lives a day, a single night

and in twilight's glow
they rise and fall
in a delicate ballet
to caress the water,

this romance with flowing water,
so brief, so beautiful.

The canvas stares back at me,
Blank, unforgiving—
A mirror of my mind,
Its emptiness a cruel reminder.
I pick up the brush with trembling hands,
But every stroke feels like betrayal,
Each color too loud, too bright,
Spilling out in chaotic bursts,
Nothing like the picture in my head.

I paint, I paint,
But nothing comes close.
The reds are too red,
The blues too cold.
Each line, each curve,
A mistake I can't undo.
And still, I push forward,
Hoping for something that feels right—
But nothing feels right.

The shadows of doubt creep in,
Dark, relentless—
They mock every attempt I make,
Every flick of the brush a ghost
That haunts the edge of the canvas.
I try to fix it,
But the more I try,
The more I destroy.

The paint smears,
A bloodied mess under my fingertips.
Each flaw is magnified,
Twisted in the light,
A grotesque reminder of my failure.
The work I once cherished
Now looks like a battlefield,
A war between my vision and reality,
Where nothing wins.

I tear the canvas in half,
The fabric screams in protest,
But I can’t stop.
I rip it apart—
Brutal, raw—
The fibers of my frustration
Fraying in the air.
Nothing feels like it's mine anymore.
The brush trembles in my hand,
A weight too heavy to carry.

I collapse into the mess,
The chaos I’ve made,
And the silence comes,
Not as a void, but as a truth—
The eerie quiet of an artist
Who’s found their shape in the ruins.
In the stillness,
I see the pieces of my soul
Scattered across the floor—
But they’re not broken.
They are just pieces.
I wonder—
Am I the painting,
Or is the painting me?
And perhaps…
We both need this destruction to be whole.

I stand, brush in hand,
Ready to start again—
With the same trembling hands,
The same uncertainty,
But this time with a quieter resolve.
I lay a fresh canvas before me,
The blankness no longer a threat,
But a promise.
A chance to begin anew,
To make something beautiful
From the mess of the past.
And so, I paint—
Not for perfection,
But for the beauty in the trying.