at 12:00 my world changes from the ordinary to a black infinite hole that you cant escape no matter how hard you try. there is no end to this horror story. i live by myself... i cant explain what the feeling of being trapped in a never ending horror story called my life. i dont know how long i can carry on living this book i know theres no such things as happily ever afters so how will this horror end... i suppose just like this...THE END.

a panic attack is like a horse spooking.
It happens at the weirdest moments sometimes for no reason..
The Person/horse has no idea what to do or where to go or what's happening.. They are scared

And what do you do to help.
You talk to them and get them to calm down. You take them somewhere safe. You don't completely leave them but u give them space if they need it. And you stick together and help them so it doesn't happen again...

But some people give up dealing with them so get rid of them... Because they are too much...
I am too much

they say words they don't mean.... but i mean every word they say

I wish i was dead.
Oh how i wish i had a blade to slive through each layer of skin deeper than i have gone ever before... all the way to the bone.
It would only hurt for a few seconds and all the pain will be over forever.
Just one swift movement of the blade up my forearm slicing open the cephalic vein watching the blood slowly pour out onto the cold concrete.
Tears running down my check not because ive lost anything but because im finally going to be free. From everything.

you are like a rose protected by thorns but once someone loves u enough to pick u they have to be careful as if they dont handle you carefully they will end up hurt and bleeding...

Do  you realise how hard it is to walk into a place where someone should be but they no longer are.
Knowing that no matter how many hallways you walk through you will never see them again.
Every class reminds me of her.
Why am i where she was meant to be.
Why has noone cared enough to check up on the one who found her life less in bed cold. The one who had to inform people she was dead.
Everyone has left me behind standing in the thoughts.  i wasnt there to save her when she needed me the most. I was only a few hundred meters away, heck i was literally standing outside her door while she lay lifeless. I was the one who walked away. I should have known something was up. Im sorry i couldn't protect her.

since i was eight ive had seven years to perfect my smile since it dissapeared and seven years to learn how to not cry and keep it to myself  and also seven years to be alone in the dark and finally not be afraid

the lock thats kept it in all these years has slowely rusted and the lock wont budge when i try to unlock it a heart is really hard to unlock the feelings of when its been beaten and broken...

As it penetrates deeper into my skin I can feel a rush of memories seeping from my heart mind and soul never to be seen again apart from a small scar to prove that its gone and not inside me anymore eating away from inside out sometimes I wonder what would happen if I got rid of all the pain and memories would anyone miss me miss the pain I have put them through???...