I came home late from work today
My wife was hopping mad
She said "we've got to put him somewhere"
"I've had it with your dad"

I asked what was the problem
She said "The second you left home"
"He was out back in the garden"
"Sitting, talking to a gnome"

"I see", I said, that isn't good
"Then the war games in the trees"
"The next time I looked out he was"
"Crawling on his hands and knees'

"I went out to go and get him"
"He threw me down and slapped my ***"
He said "you have to get down low dear"
"Or you'll be spotted by the ***"

I suggested that we look about
For a nice old country home
He could play his war games in the woods
And I would let him take the gnome

My wife said "Make it happen"
And I heard through the back door
"It better happen quickly"
"Because I can not take much more!"

I called and found a nice spot
Princess Patricia's Old Vets Place
It was cheap and fit our budget
And it sure had lots of space

We went up for a visit
Before we put my dad in there
I mean, if it was not to his liking
Then it would not be quite fair

The head nurse gave us info
About the hours and the fees
And we told her of how Daddy
Liked to play war games in the trees

She said "He's going to love it"
"It sounds like he's a real good sport"
"The vets here have a Navy"
"Out on the tennis court"

"They strap bed pans to their feet"
"And they go skating down the hall"
"Some unhook their catheters"
"And have duels upon the wall"

"They see who shoots the highest"
"Which one can write their name"
"And every time we show a war film"
"It all ends up the same"

"He'll fit right in, no problem"
"I can sign him in today"
My wife just stood and smiled
Pulled out the cheque,with which to pay

Dad, not really caring
Watched the woods for an attack
I don't think that he cared much
If we ever did come back

He's happy at the moment
Giving orders to the gnome
Out deep in the country
At Princess Pat's Old Vets Home

Life is back to normal
All is well for her and me
Although lately I've seen soldiers
Hiding, watching in the trees.....

Alex is his name,
People say he's insane,
He's always the one to blame,
Don't trust him they say,
He'll hurt you,
He'll betray you,
And the list goes on....

One day Alex met this
Beautiful young girl
"Ashley",he said
With such bliss.

He gazed at her,
He hung out with her,
He played with her,
Then something kicked in
But he doesn't know what it is.

"What is this strange feeling?", he said

"The thing you are feeling right now is LOVE Alex", Ashley responded

"Love huh, I like it", Alex said while starring at her with a smile

Alex was very happy
Oh boy
What joy
He was feeling that day
He kept thinking of Ashley daily
And made a list of things he would say
To her

Months passed by,
As the two young teen begin to walk,
Ashley told Alex something that threw him off

"What are you trying to say?", asked Alex

"Look,I'm sorry about this", Ashley responded "I should have told you this since we met,but I'm in a relationship already."

Oh what damage did poor little Alex received that day
He didn't know how to do,
He didn't know what to say,

He looked away,
Very slowly,
With the feeling of sadness,
He was at the point to just wreck everything.

"What am I suppose to do now?", he asked himself"

"I can't go back with her, I trusted her, why did she do this to me? This is unfair, what did I do to diserve this?"

Five have months passed since the incident
Alex was playing music at the park under a tree,
Far out in the distance
He sees
Ashley crying by the fountain by herself.
He decides to go and cheer her up

"Ashley what's wrong?", Alex asked softly.

"I broke up with my partner, I don't know what to do or feel", she responded

"This reminds me of the incident we had five months ago, I know exactly how you are feeling right now." He said

"I'm sorry about that Alex,can you forgive me,please?",Ashley cried

"I will forgive you,but I won't go back with you, I am now known as 'The Broken and Confused'." He replied as he picked up Ashley from the fountain

Later that day they became friends
Again,



Till this day,
Alex is still known as

"The Broken and Confused"

I was working at the Postal Service
Part time, answering letters
When one for Santa caught my eyes
I could make this kids life better
I read the letter, held it close
I couldn't promise gifts and stuff
But, I read the **** thing fifteen times
And at that point, I'd had enough

Dear Santa Claus, the letter read
My name is Katy Green
I hope this Christmas is the best
That you have ever seen
I want to let you know I'm scared
You won't find us Christmas Eve
We are living in a trailer now
But, Santa...I still believe

We lost our house and all our stuff
When we got wiped out by a storm
We had to move to trailer town
And it's not easy keeping warm
There's Mum and Dad, and my sisters
All in this trailer built for two
So don't go where we were last year
No matter what you do

I put the letter in my shirt
Without a second thought
I'd be fired in a heart beat
If I ever did get caught
I went home after work that day
Pulled the letter, showed my spouse
My Christmas gift to them this year
I was gonna find that house

I started calling neighbors
Got my friends involved as well
And told them to get others
As many folks as they could tell
We were in the countries center
They were stuck out on the coast
We were going to bring Christmas
Just like the Holy Ghost

We put the letter in the paper
Gifts came in from shops and stores
I would come home after working
There'd be gifts outside my door
We started out with eight trucks
We figured that would do the trick
Eight trucks led by a madman
By, the way...my name is Nick

We had five days until Christmas
To get this load to where they were
We had toys and clothes and gift cards
We had no frankincense or myrrh
We had trucks just full of tires
In case we broke down on the way
There was nothing that would stop us
We'd be there on Christmas Day

Each city that we passed through
Our convoy grew in size
The police just let us roll on
They could not believe the size
Our line of trucks was bigger than
Any that I'd seen on the road
And each truck was fully packed up
Each one had a full load

The plan was nearly perfect
Two days and we would be there
We would fix up their old house
Where others wouldn't dare
We would not only bring them Christmas
We would give them back their house
And we would do it all in silence
Like that poem and that sleeping mouse

Our convoy found the township
And we did the best we could
We ripped the house asunder
And then rebuilt it with new wood
One letter set this movement
Of Christmas love and cheer
In mothion for one family
That as yet, weren't even here

We put lights up and got ready
Found a tree and made it right
When the gifts were all delivered
The house was quite a sight
We went out to the trailers
Just the drivers and no press
This was our Christmas present
Started by a child...who'd have guessed

I knocked upon the trailer
All the trucks lined up the way
We still had twenty four hours
Until it would be Christmas Day
Katy stood before me
With her mother in the back
I stood waiting on the doorstep
Dressed in red with a large sack

As soon as Katy saw me
She new that Santa Claus was here
That he'd seen her letter
And was here with Christmas Cheer
When her mum saw all the trailers
Lined on both sides of the road
She said to me "Dear Santa"
Where are all the trailers stowed

I told them of the letter
And we got them all outside
It didn't take too much convincing
That we would be going for a ride
When we turned up on their crescent
And we started for their place
Each one of them was crying
Tears were streaming down their face

The house was lit up brightly
The trees were lit up too
The house was their big present
Everything inside was new
The parents stood and wondered
While the kids just went on in
They asked us why we did it
It just took a letter to begin

We made Christmas for this family
We brought a Convoy across the land
Every one who heard about us
Pitched in to lend a hand
We may not quite be Santa
But, we helped him with his load
And next year again at Christmas
There'll be a Convoy on the road