Luminosity Cat

Luminosity Cat Feb 2015

Cut

There is this wound,
                  its on my left arm.
It kind of resembles the one on my hip,
                  but this one was longer and more jagged.
It'll heal like the one on my hip,
                   but it's cousin will appear very near.
It oozed blood at first,
                   but it stopped bleeding after a few minutes.
Oh, look,
                    now there is another right next to it.
And another, and another,
                    and another, and another.
Its like medication,
                    for the pain that hurts the most.
The pain of my heart is to great,
                     the knife keeps my wounds coming and the pain at bay.

Luminosity Cat Feb 2015

Untitled

If you looked,
I mean really looked,
would you see me?
I mean really see me.

I don't mean the side of me that smiles,
or the side of me that laughs,
or that seems care free,
or loving.

I mean the side of me that cries,
that is flooded with pain,
with blood on my arms,
and feels alone.

When you look at me,
do you look at my appearance,
or do you look in my eyes,
or do you even look at all?

Please, tell me what you really see.
Look at me.
Really look at me,
because I don't think you really see.

Maybe its time you really looked.

Luminosity Cat Feb 2015

Wall

I suppose this wall is to blame.
No windows. No doors. Just brick.
No way to claw out of it,
But the effort is killing me.

I suppose the construction worker is to blame.
No ladder. No rope. Just height.
No way to climb over,
But I try in desperation.

No tunnel.
No passage.
Nothing.

I suppose I'm to blame.
I did built it so long ago.
I forgot how to get out.
This is my mind after all.

Luminosity Cat Nov 2014

If Broken

Broken.
It is such a strange word.
Broken.
It is such a strange definition.
Broken.
Can't what is broken be fixed?

If that which is broken is fixed, is it still broken?
Perhaps it is just brokenly new.
A broken heart can lead to joy.
So if a heart is sad, is it truly broken?

Broken.
Such a strange thing.
Broken.
What a strange concept.
Broken.
What a strange sound.

Why do humans call themselves broken?
Perhaps being broken, is nothing more then an allusion.
Why do we cry in despair when we seem to have broken?
Being broken only allows light to shine through the cracks.

Broken.
What a strange allusion.
Broken.
What a strange existence.
Broken.
What a strange state.

So, if broken can be fixed...
If Broken leads to joy...
If broken is an allusion..
And if light shines through the cracks of things that are broken...
Then it means two things...

Broken is a temporary state for humans.
Broken never existed to begin with.

Oct 2014

Teenage Mess

Scared

A cut here.
A cut there.
I am in need of such repair.

A tear on the left.
A tear on the right.
Oh, so many sleepless nights.

One pill..
Two pills..
Three pills more.
Oh, what the heck I'll just take 24.

Mommy?
Daddy?
Anyone there?
I'm starting to get real real scared.

I made a mistake.
Now it's to late.
I'll see you later, at heavens gate.

#suicide #cutting #pills #depression #death #drugs #depressed #crying #suicidal

Luminosity Cat Oct 2014

Lullaby

Hush little child, don't you cry.
Don't cut your arms, I can't say goodbye.
I know it hurts, but you'll be alright.

Careful little child, that's a very sharp knife.
Try to put it down, it won't help you tonight.
I know it's painful, but it will be alright.

Think darling child, it's a long way down.
Jumping off a roof, might **** you now.
I know it's painful, but you might be alright.

See you, lovely child, you have said goodbye.
You jumped off a roof, now you've lost this fight.
I'm sorry I couldn't help, you tried to hold on tight.

Life isn't easy, and sometimes you can't win this life.