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Blue Hydrangea
adrift
in the
black vacuum sea
wilting
brown
 Jun 2014 Jessica Pfeiffer
Q
Empty
 Jun 2014 Jessica Pfeiffer
Q
I am no longer infatuated.
I hate it.
I did not realize how filling it was
Until it was sated.

You do not intrigue me.
Neither of you.
I have no wish to speak to you now.
I am through.

It is worrying, the way I cease to care.
An unending cycle.
I'd raised you on a diamond pedestal.
Yet you still grew dull.

I've written poems dedicated solely
To my inability to describe you.
To describe you two.
I am through

I am empty, cold, and exhausted.
You are not warm.
Your pedestals have fallen
And I am forlorn.
Love like the sun
Loves the earth
Ever since they met
They dance every day

The sun makes the earth
Look on the brighter side
The earth gives the sun
A reason to wake up

Love like the earth
Loves the sun
Because the earth isn’t distracted
By the stars and the moon
 Jun 2014 Jessica Pfeiffer
Helen
"If you had a gun, I'd ask you to shoot me right now"

If I had a gun, I'd put it to my own head
Just so I could never hear those words again

I'll never forget laying at the foot of your bed
As you spoke about dying or the things that you said
Halfway through your contemplation of your life
You fell asleep and I was left laying like you stabbed me with a knife

But I laid there, at the foot of your bed
waiting for you to repeat everything
you said, I laid there in dread

Then you woke and continued
like you had never spoke
and asked once again
"Do you have a gun?"*

No, I don't have a gun
I can't pull the trigger
on all of your nightmares
but somewhere, out there
you've hallucinated
all of reality, it seems
you were unable to leave
until I aimed the barrel
between the eyes
of all your dreams
Above, a true story (and true words spoken) of the last days leading up to June 28 2008. I lost the one Man in my life that made other men work hard to be worthy.... I miss my Daddy :( you should not have been taken away so cruelly :(
Should I jab this ink into my jugular and let the words express themselves in a manner never seen before?
All the while I pour out every single emotion ever known to exist in my being onto puddles of madness on the floor
Maybe that will allow the world to see the words for what they really are and judge the poet not
And the world can envision its own rolling fields of golden daisies in a soil made from carefully sifted rock
Praise the blood that bleeds profusely upon the lines of every page
And bless the minds of the loved and lost who discovered pain at an early age
Allow me to place the cap so carefully back atop the pen so that you may take my metaphors and open doors and churn them in your heart and head
It's only when I stop bleeding
that I am truly dead
(C) Maxwell 2014
I hear the tortured souls
Crying out to me
In the place where dreams live

I close my eyes
Not sure how much time has elapsed
Wakened by screams
Realizing they are my own

I long for peaceful rest

Someday maybe

Not today
There's not enough pills
Not enough *****
Not enough anything to **** the pain
We're capable of feeling
 May 2014 Jessica Pfeiffer
Q
I was done.
*******, I was done.
But you came in
And tore me a new one.

You didn't yell or shout
That just isn't your style
You just made me happy
You made me ******* smile.

I love it, god, I hate it
I'm bound again once I get free
I love it, god, I hate it
This is what you do to me.

I'm going to smile my ******* heart out
I'm not on the moon, I'm on Mars
Yesterday is forgotten, I swear
I'm smiles and ******* stars.
So this me bleeding onto paper while smiling. One of my friends made me think twice about taking a hiatus unintentionally. So thanks, I guess.
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