Is hurts to see the past,
Being so ugly bitter in the present.
I panic about the future,
Left in a stagnant worry.

I find it hard to vocalise jealousy,
As I feel guilty it being part of me.
But can you really blame me,
Seeing you be loved before me.

I don't look like any of these women,
I appear differently in every way.
I internally panic and worry,
That you want something I'm not.

Why do you keep ahold of the past,
The memories, notes and valentine's.
By holding onto your used-to-bes,
I feel weak to my knees.

I saw it, but I wish I didn't,
Because now my insecurity thrives.
Like a venomous snake poisoning,
These thoughts come back to haunt again.

I can't feel the same,
You came and forced your hate
Down my throat,
In my face.

I can't feel the same,
You want me to suffer,
So clearly and obviously,
While glorifying yourself as a deity.

I can't feel the same,
With years of regret and selfhate,
Being reopened and wounded,
Repeatedly again and again.

I can't feel the same,
When you stripped me of safety,
Security, love and peace.
You preach what you hate.

I can't feel the same,
I will never feel that way.
You've shattered my glass inner,
With a lack of mercy or empathy.

She can't feel the same,
Yet you'd use that as a way,
To justify your pain and hurting me
Just the same.