Breath in throat. Breathe child breathe. Keep reminding myself this is just memory.  Nor more reality.........

The sun so warm on that October day. We bended down then reached up to pick only the most ripest harvest.

Your smile on this beautiful October day was glimpse in happiness that still reaches me after all these years.

Remember my beloved. After we have gathered how excited we were.

The joys in making your secret recipe.

Ever had super bad day where your thoughts shoot out of your mouth? Oops Sorry not Sorry day....

That's  where my oops day starts.  Waking. If I could of just climmed out of bed on the left Side instead of the right there wouldn't of been story to tell.

Days like these **** ***. Nothing goes right. Waking up late, dressing quickly, hair ***** monkey butts, where the hell is my deodorant more important where's my perfume?

No time go. Driving. Making time to stop at a gas station because I was to lazy yesterday to put gas in my car. Fudge. I need caffeine. Cigerrettes.

***. Seriously.

Oh, yes. SERIOUSLY. Running late traffic. It's  not my fault. As I swear to myself as I am stuck behind every stupid person on the planet.

Breathe. Yes, light another cancer stick take swig of caffeine. Breathe again.

Frickin A.....Why?????? There is no realization at this point I am to blame for this clusterfuck of the start of my day.

Yes by the Grace of God ( Seriously) I was perversely on time for work. ( Thank you)

Oh, yes. The start of the day. ( Secret... I  am Server at restaurant) Here we go..here we go.. here we go again...

No... I dropped my cluster at the door when I came in. Why is there cluster when I walked in?

I'm still in the back of the house making my way to the front. ( GOD SHINE YOUR LIGHT)

Fudge it all. Busy day. People into themselves ,harsh. Want want want. No thank you day.

Hum... As I reflected of my day with fake smile. Was it them? Or what I gave off and they felt from my scrabble morning to mid afternoon. Even with the fake smile?

I'm still reflecting on this as I swear when I do my chores. ( It's called side work) Let's be honest at this point I call it the devils work after being there for 2.5 hours after I was done off the floor.

Driving home. Still wishing I had awoken on left side of bed. Call from my best friend. Venting to this beautiful person. Knowing me and who I am.

Yep.....Truth....No One's Fault Then Your Yourself.

Dang.. She's Right...

The beauty of which is the essence of them.  Everyone in the world has this person or person's.

How lucky we are to share. To be molded by these beautiful human beings.

They hold are secrets are fears are challenges.

Today let's call them, take them out to eat.  Kiss them.

To  give them recognition how lucky we are to have them.

God bless you and your Incredible Friends.

Let's clap our hands for old mother f ****. They like to prey on young f b#$ch.

Married to player who doesn't respect his f ****. It's bounced around like Plato on his stick.

Your b@#ch calls my friend and shares pictures of you two together.  What do you want sandwich together.

Bounce back mother fu@ker.

Your Beautiful bride of 26 years is getting strong, she's  got team that won't let her go wrong.

Let's twiddle in the future mother f ****. Your old how long do you think you can see above sea level before you sink.

Oops it's done. Bye Bi@ch.

You are incredible *******.

How dare you be who u are.

I despise you.

On the best part eating Strawberry  and Peanut Butter Sandwich.

**** It's So Good.

I can only say what ****** you are... PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME...

To My Beautiful Father...

You took my hand and never let go. Always by my side, right or wrong.

Smiling full of praise. Guiding me always on the right path.

Wisdom to this day rings to my ears.

I am grateful I had you for the years I did. I so wish for more.

You my Father are my Heart, my Soul, my Everything.


Happy Father's Day To All You Incredible Men.

Dancing. Night Raindbows. Butterscotch Ripples. The only way she knows how to bring.

You only come to save.
When Crazy goes away your bored.

You don't know what you want. Youth in your mind must take the bad breath of your old age out of your mouth. Apparently from the mirror too.

There will never be a shut off  button for your condition.
You will continue to get older as the girls get younger.

You will continue to rescue until you are alone.
No young girl in sight.
In home from the state.

Breathing in from your yesterday's.

Thank you Eliot York for giving life to our words.

Thank you also to the wonderful souls who help you.

I'm in zone of repeated steps. Acknowledge my game in their desire for food and drink don't forget the pie.

Trying to appease most game that think Restaurant is Drive-Thru.

Taking nothing to heart from my game when their out burst of no food when there is full house.
Telling my game please be assured your food will arrive there is a wait . (  Remember I told you all about this before you ordered)

Look around Game. Everyone is Waiting.

Please Take Note Of My Warp Speed Ahead. I Care, I'm Trying .

Today is National Animals Day...

Take moment and remember your ex.

When is it politically correct to choose your time for death?
What illness must I  endear for it to be my  right to choose my end? What stranger will fight my right of my own free will of pain?

When can people hush and listen. Step aside....

My lips cant forget the happiness you touched your tongue with.

My hands still smell of your skin.

My belly still rubbles from laughter of tales of your whims.

My thoughts are on this beautiful get away.

Starlight not so bright **** the first star

I breathe You exhale
My lips your tongue
Your voice My moan

These words of self reflections are not easy. Past mistakes lets not lye even today. Blanket pulled over head in memories of humiliation. If I don't peak out of my cocoon.

Why do I hold on to you? Are standing still with each other is Disastrous.        

The day I met you I knew I wanted to *******. Seeing you standing there. Eyes locked on mine. I wanted to jump at you. To get taste of your lips. Your kiss is like eating icecream cone on Hot Summers Day. DELICIOUS.

You made me work to get you. I didn't mind. I knew in time I would get you.
Oh, when I got you. I wasn't disappointed. You were everything I knew you would be.
But...Unfortunately... isn't there always one.

You were different. Your differences in time wasn't comparable to what your talents are. There was more.
I would ask you. Plead with you to tell me what these differences are.
All in vain. My words, My tears, my anger and my fears.

In that. In it being shared. It is still open pages.

The flow I swim can U catch me. It's  not question. I want answer . Oh, hell I forgot who I was asking.

What beautiful morning it is. To awaken and stretch to see my sun filled room. Listening as the birds sing for me.

Happiness all around me as I linger. Up and 4 wheeling is in my early morning glory.

Oh, the beauty of the land that surrounds me. It is wonderful to be alive today.

The smells of the forest after nights rain is heaven.

As we trail along on trails forgotten there's New experience to had.

Morning ****. Lord forgive me....but the only way to get out of bed smiling.
Which of course puts little swagger in your step as you make your way to the shower.
Bliss. Just got ****** now I'm getting clean.

Breakfast. Cooked together. Smile on me.

Walk. Yes, let's explore.

Back home to change. Off to museum. The beauty of art. No words needed.

Believe and you will Achieve
No looking back.

Forward March.
Tomorrow is New day.

Positive Being.
Willpower and motivation.

Prayers and Blessings.
Exercise and wellness.

Family and Friends
Helping and guiding others.

Believe In Yourself.
You Are Worth Everything.

The simplicity of your taste. No greed in fortitude of what addiction we all take.

Bringing us to levels of ecstasy. Happiness never found before.

Bottoms up..  


What? Oh, yes


You try to forsake us. Bend are values. Make us all forget .

Skipping beat in my whirlwind schedule. Trying like hell to not get lost in the shuffle.

Bending down and getting lost and found. Just to find  my own merry go round.

Getting respect and praise from others is like kiss from my mother. Joy to the heart not skipping beat. Your praise to me is like dancing on my feet.

Listening but not receiving. Waiting. Static Error. Sending. Responce non conclusive.

Since March of last year On You
Tube I have been captivated by this amazing man.


Please Check It Out.



After Prison Show.

Fill in the blanks. Your good at it.

Tomorrow I take journey that no one should walk.

My falter are my own emotions.

I'm scared. Standing strong.

The word for what my Mother has I will not Utter.

Rubbing the head of Buddha.

Yes. Oh, yes i did. God

Erased of Contact. Not erased when DRUNK....

HOW THE HECK WHY THE FUDGE AND CRACKERS AM I ALLOWED TO DIAL PHONE WHEN 4 DAYS AGO TO DIAL... WAIT FOR IT... WAIT

My frickin exs number

Lovely to awaken see the PHONE

LOG.....NO.

SERIOSLY. TELLING TRUTH...

HES ******

BUT.. ( DRUNK ME WANTS TO TALK TO HIM)

SORRY TO MYSELF.

Hi, Beautiful.  You think to much, care forcibly for every human being. Take moment breathe.

You are incredible human being. I want you to think about yourself.

I tell you this but you brush it aside.

I can only share my fortitude on this site of friend that needs to slow down and appreciate herself.

To All the ppl we love that never slow down and the appreciation that they have for everyone .... God bless you....

Ok. Seriously. Do not feel the same. Bitten lip. Alcohol . Thank you, Jesus ..sSips of salvation.

Can't stand you. Wish you would go away.

I do enough for you. I want to be free. I want to fly away on tequila sunrise....

With my hand reached out

I told her.

With open reception is parade I want .

He tantalizes me with tangled words; and like a kitten I bounce and won't let go.

The Devil's quick; he pulls back quickly. I am left looking side to side. Front and back.

Waiting for him.

Why is this hard word for ppl to follow.

Why in every day life must we be consumed with only are selves.

Why oh why can't we  find compassion.

Why can't we take minute to look around and help.

Why is this question and feeling with my actions to show different never go away.

I hate you. This time you didnt Win.

The wind blows in and carries your name.

I'm reminded of everything.

The wind stays still and your name remains.

Bitter sweet solitude.

My flailing dismay of emotions. The rewind internal.

Come on now.  

Take my hand and walk to the decadent edge.
Let's look Down.

Try together to understand before we plummet.

Lips that never stop.  Hands that are always there. Slip in...

It's ok to be BAD.

In the veil of silence. Where can we find happiness. In happiness we find ears to listen. In veils are solitude to destitution. In destitution we find speech.

In speech we find wares of expression. Expression brings compassion.

Expression finds solitude.

Solitude brings explanations.

Explanations bring forgiveness.

Forgiveness brings solitude. Solitude is adaptation.

Adaptation is Vision.

Vision is to see.

To See is to Live.

Let's talk about Me. Pull up chair. Gather your friends. I have tale to tell for all to read...    

Are we gathered. Snuggled in. Food on lap. Licking fingers of no pages to turn...

How should I start the selfishness journey of my friend .Will the beginning be better then the end.


Meeting someone that you instantly connect to is joyous. Talk all day until the night.. Sharing crazy heartfelt journeys you wouldn't but you just did. Heartbeat in throat waiting for stranger to say yes...
When they say yes and share back it's silent scream of bliss.
That my reading friends is where it begins ...

The End of you is my new beginning.
I found my self worth.

Writing about you brings sweat in my brows that slowly porous.

Should I do or Should I NOT

My tongue is on my lips.


Making choice.