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Liz Apr 2016
How is that possible?
To have a voice so sweet?
Just when you speak to me,
Without any special meaning,
You could sing me to sleep.

Every word has a chime
As it rolls off your tongue.
And when they fall together
As you read your poetry,
It becomes
Some of the most beautiful music
I've ever had the pleasure
Of hearing.

You must be an angel,
Because you have a voice
That could make any nonbeliever
Bow down and repent
If you read them aloud
A simple scripture.

That voice makes me blush
When you tell me sweet nothings.
I can't help but smile
And feel like a child
Who's heard the ocean
For the first time.

The waves crash
Just like your voice.
Beautiful creations
Crafted by nature,
That bring me ease
When I get the chance to listen.

I'm sorry I'm staring
But it's the best I can do,
When I'm this far away
And can't touch you
Or kiss you.

I'd believe anything
That came from your mouth,
That's why I blush when you tell me
That you think I'm pretty.
If you say it,
It must be true,
And I've never believed it
Until I heard it from you.

A voice so calming
Is a gift from heaven,
And God cannot create lies.
Now I have no choice
But to feel warm inside,
Because you spoke to me
With truths that I could never see
If it weren't from you.
Liz Mar 2016
All I want is to be loved
But I can never seem to get enough.

I lay here alone
Wondering still
Why I have this trench
That nothing can fill?

I search for what I want
And I think it is found
But when darkness falls
I can't hear a sound.

No "I love you" 's,
No reassuring words
No utterance of peace
And, my god, it hurts.

I just want to feel
Like everything's okay
Like I don't have to die
At the end of every day.

What am I missing?
What else do I need,
To finally silence
My endless plea?

I'm begging again
Just to know someone cares.
I need some security
Because I'm constantly scared.

No more sweet nothings,
No romancing kiss.
Where is the love
That I so dearly miss?

Can't you see me dying
For your cathartic embrace?
Can't you see the pain
Written on my face?

I'm a fragile soul,
And I hate that I'm this way
Because I need you always
I need you to stay.

I wish I didn't care
I wish my heart was dead
But after being beaten and broken
It searches for life instead.

I want to be happy
And I want to be free.
I don't want to drown
In this dark lonely sea.

But the waves are all around
And tide is pulling me under.
This storm is so strong
I am deafened by thunder.

I've been fighting it all
For what feels like a thousand years
But it's just my luck
That the sea grow deeper with my tears.

But I can't stop crying
I couldn't if I tried.
I couldn't if my stupid heart stopped
And I finally died.

I'll create oceans from my grave
And the earth will drown,
All because I lived my life
With an eternal frown.

The water will rise
And fill in slowly.
This is my revenge on earth
For leaving me lonely.

Even after the flood
My heart won't stop beating
And it won't forget the love
That it will not stop needing.

How sorry I will be
That I have killed you all.
I will be so sorry
That I will continue to bawl.

So someone please love me
Like I need to be loved
Before the earth is doomed
By my broken hearted gloom.
Look at all those rhymes!
Liz Mar 2016
All I want
Is to be wrapped
In your love.
Cover me with
Your safety
So I can finally
Rest easy.

Please let me
Hold onto you.
I'm so far from calm
And so close to the edge,
But holding you close
Brings me home again.

You'll never understand
What it's like for me.
I'm the one who cares too much,
Always have been
Always will be.

I love you so deeply
And I love you so
Unconditionally,
That I'm afraid my love
Won't stop
Even when you've had enough.

I sing your name in my sleep
And my hands wander
In search of yours.
Where are you now?
I need you here.

I love you so much,
That I cry because it hurts.
It hurts to know i'm trapped
In your binding curse.

I cry because I know
That I'm a pathetic mess
And you're so perfect
That your picture
Won't leave my head.

You're too good for me
And every one can see
That I'm just a freak
And you're a masterpiece.

I'm just an admirer
Lost in your light.
It's so bright
It keeps me up at night.

Please tell me you love me
The same way I love you
Even if it's a lie
Even if it will never be true.

I love you like an addict
Loves getting high.
I love you like the moon
Loves changing tides.

I know you'll never love me
With the pain that  
I love you.
But you could at least try
To pretend that you do.

You haven't even left yet
And I'm drowning in my tears.
My love is so complete
It fills me with fear.

I'm so terrified
That one day you'll be gone.
You'll be happy
And I'll never
Move on.

You'll find a girl
Who'll never love like me.
But at least she's normal
And not an emotional freak.

At least she's pretty
And at least she's sane,
But her love will never
Be as true as mine.

So please let me hold you
While I still have time,
Because I know when I blink
You'll no longer be mine.

You'll be tired of me
And all my insanity.
You'll leave even though
You promised you loved me.

You said you wanted a future
With me.
And you said I'm the first one
To make you believe
That love doesn't have to hurt.

My love will always hurt
Because my heart is fragile.
So please handle with care.
Let it down gently
To avoid further breaking.

What am I saying?
It's already broken
Because I can see the future
And I can see the truth.
I'll never be good enough
For you.

I can see you walk away
As I begin to die.
I can see you letting go
Every time
I close my eyes.

I'm sorry I'm like this,
I know I'm too much.
I know I'm too ****** up
For someone to ever love.
Liz Mar 2016
The Dancers in Black

Her dress was black and the shape resembled a flower. Satin off-the-shoulder sleeves sat elegantly against her ivory white skin. A plain black bodice and a plain black skirt, not too puffy but not form fitting. It was a simple dress, but she stood out from all the lavishly decorated girls that attended the ball. Her pale skin made her black dress look like a painting on a pure white canvas. A few black curls fell from her crown-like updo and brushed against her neck; giving her beauty an effortless essence.
Soon after she entered the grand doors, a man approached her. He was older, but not too old. Maybe ten years her senior.
“You are breathtaking, it would be an honor to dance with such a beauty.”
A small grin curled her lips as she took the hand he extended to her. They danced wonderfully in the ballroom. They swayed together like a tree in the wind, his branches twisting with hers. Her black dress melted with his black coat and trousers and they became one beautiful black bird, floating and gliding freely.
The rest of the guests froze, watching the couple in a trance. The room fell silent, even the musicians were hypnotized by the dancers’ grace. The couple continued to dance through the silence, seemingly unaware of their surroundings. Their gaze was locked, transcending reality as they stared into each other’s eyes. They were somewhere else, transported by their dance. An unfamiliar world was created between their eyes that grew and spread like a halo around their interlocked frames.
The guests were not amazed, not horrified, they were not anything. The feeling of Nothing swept over them like a dusting of light snow. Nothing seeped into their hearts the longer they watched the dancers. This Nothingness would be with them until the end of time.
The King entered the ballroom confused the the silence and the stillness.
“What are you doing? I don’t pay you so my guests can stand around in boredom.”
The musicians resumed playing and the guests went back to dancing. Men looked for the beauty in the black dress and women searched for the man in the black coat. They seemed to have disappeared. No woman or man in black could be found.
The guests danced and carried on their night like they would any other. But they could not forget the dancers and the Nothingness that was left in their hearts.
As the night came to an end, and the guests began to leave, the image of the dancers in black haunted their minds. They left through the grand doors like sand falls through an hourglass, consistent and calm until the room was empty. No one spoke of the event, but there was a sense of understanding among the guests. They all saw the event, they all felt the Nothingness that remained, and they all agreed it was best not to dwell on the matter.
They would think about the dancers in black every day. Every man and woman, and lord and peasant who saw the dancers would carry on life with Nothingness inside them and the curious beauty of the dance in their memory. Each one trying not to think about it because they knew that just the notion of that night would cause them to fall into the same trance they fell to in the ballroom. How odd it is to ignore a memory, all while knowing it will never be forgotten. How strange it must be to lie to yourself and know the truth cannot be denied. They shut away their knowledge of the dance so they could continue living life in the facetious way they had before.  
One of the guests was a poet. He could not carry on like the others. He could not ignore the Nothingness. After the ball, his writing became only repeated attempts to understand the dancers. And to understand why they made him feel so uneasy. His attempts failed over and over again for years, until the poet had nearly given up. After hundreds, maybe thousands of discarded rough drafts, the poet wrote his last sentence. He wrote it and never again felt the need to pick up a pen. It was simple and short, and everything he had been looking for.
“I saw Death, and it was beautiful.”
this is the first piece of fiction that I've written that i actually like
Liz Feb 2016
I'm smarter than
Most people i know,
But i've been cursed
With the ability to
Feel.

I have a multitude of thoughts
Being triggered every second.
Each with their own
Unique emotion.

I feel each one vividly,
And with amazing depth
Creating a storm in my head
Impossible to ignore.

My storm of emotions
Grows so strong,
It prevents the simultaneous thoughts
From being articulated
Or understood.

I can confuse myself,
And break my own heart
Because of the complexity
Of my mind.
An astounding talent, really.

My dad says I'm smart,
Too smart for my own good.
And he's probably right.

What good is a brain,
When your heart makes all the decisions?
Liz Feb 2016
Maybe when my weak heart
Finally fails
Maybe when death
Takes me into the dark
I'll find you on the other side

They told me heaven
Is the ideal setting for your happiness.
And I have a feeling
My setting will have you
My love

In this world
We may never meet again
But I wait for the day
Death takes me to you

Our souls will break
From our earthly limitations
And finally my half
Will melt with yours
And balance will be restored

In another life
I'll have you
I just pray you'll have me too
Liz Feb 2016
I didn't want to open my eyes. The sight of him made me sick. I hated his short, hairy legs. I hated his eyes. They looked at me with sadness, but sadness couldn't hide the evil that stared at me. I hated the way they looked hollow and dark when he took his glasses off. I hated his beard. It scratched my skin when he tried to kiss me. And when he thrusted his lips at mine, hoping i wouldn't run.

I hated his hands the most. His hands radiated with his disgusting desire. Every time he touched me, from the day we first met, i knew something was wrong. Maybe i was just being too "closed off". Thats what my dad always said when i didn't let him hug me. When he touched me, i could see his hands for what they really were. Slimy tentacles, lusting for their prey.

I should have seen it coming, the things his hands did. They hit me. I saw stars and my ears rang. They scratched me. The marks would be there for days. They gripped my throat so tight i could feel my life slipping away as my vision went dark. He released just before i passed out, letting me breathe.

Sometimes i wish he had kept choking me. I wished he had killed me that day, putting an end to my torture.

All the pain and lack of oxygen made me weak. Too weak to try to fight. He was bigger and stronger. And i was just a battered little girl, terrified and trapped. I couldn't get away. And who would hear me if i screamed? We were alone and i was pretty sure he'd keep hurting me if i tried. He restricted my breathing every time i made a sound.

So i just laid there. I closed my eyes, pretending i was dead. I waited for it to be over, trying to **** my mind. I didn't want to feel a thing. I didn't want to be there. If i could somehow slip into death in my head, i wouldn't have to be here anymore. Killing myself in my head was the only escape from my terrible reality.

It was over and he drove me home. He tried to talk to me. He tried to reassure me that everything was okay and i wasn't a bad person.
"Don't feel guilty, he doesn't have to know." He kept talking but i was silent. In an emotionless trance, my face was still and unexpressive. Tears came slowly and silently. They rolled down my stone cheeks, my statue of a face.

What just happened? Did he forget the events of the last hour? Did I?
"Don't feel guilty. He won't know."
Had i just cheated on my boyfriend? What have i done?

He made me think that i was the one to blame. I'm a ****. *****. Disgusting cheater. What did i do? I hate myself. I deserve to die.

I knew the truth. I knew what happened. I knew what he did and i knew how horrible it felt. So how was he able to convince me that this was my fault? Was it because i didn't want to think about that word? ****.

No, i had not been *****. I cheated and I'm a horrible person. He means the world to me and i am a horrible ****. That's what i told myself. And didn't tell anyone else anything about cheating or ****. It's a terrifying word. Once the reality is seen.
i guess i needed to open up about it eventually. even if it is just to nobodies on the internet. i was going to explode if i didn't get it out.
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