I remain puzzled by my own puzzles,
of pieces the universe strung together through its orbits,
of the shades of blue and pink and steel grey it painted
on my wrists and my cheeks and my tiny feet
for there is no reason why I should crave silence,
yet my ears thirst for it, and the noise of life too
I long to let loose, yet I keep my chest sewn shut
I have so much to say, but speaking drains me
because the warm and the cold runs and spins and stirs
and standing here, I remain confused
as I wonder what to be
and wander through the land and sea
searching for who to be.

rindu adalah candu
membawa nyeri kala terlalu lama dipendam
hanya diladeni oleh orang penyakitan

rindu adalah candu
wewangian dari yang dirindu
yang menyesakkan tapi ditunggu

rindu adalah candu
canduku untuk kamu.

your body is a legend.

it turns all the scratches
the wounds and scars
the bruises and cuts
the fractures and slaps
into markings that map the road
for your destined legacy.

And time
Has left us a pantomime
Of the best of us
Because what was of us has been swept away
As the seconds tick by and minutes pass

And time may come back in full circle,
but the you I know would never come back to me.

is to feel the sea around your feet
and listen to the waves crash
they bubble and splash
and ask: “how many merfolk were unfortunate to have their hearts broken
for there are so much foam in the sea?”

is to sit at a quiet cafe
staring at people passing by
stirring my tea until it’s
sweet
like the life i’ll never have

is to witness the dawn
when the sun rises and the moon fades
the remnants of night face the new morning
the only time they could meet
but still not touch; only see

is to count the stars
and look up to the brightest above
and wonder:
does absence make the heart grow fonder,
or the distance grow further?

is to write all this down
with a name in my head
and a face in my heart
in search of a happy ending;
this is not.