Booting…booting…booting
Power on
Channel change
Weave through channels
Comical in a moment
Historical in the next
Melodramatic then bold
Tailor made for for the masses
Everyone has a channel they like
And I tune to all

But what when alone?
No channel to choose
A dark reflective screen
Replays a dark mien
I am a TV
For you to watch
Delicately balanced
Too easy to botch

More of me than one mind.
More of me than one heart.
More of me than one soul.
Less of me, just one part.
Love is good.  Love is bad.
I can't decide if I'm happy or sad.
If there's more of me than one,
than perhaps I'm just mad.
Crazy to think I could finally find sanity.
I lost myself looking.  I'm my own enemy.
Who I am now is just a darker version,
of the man I once was...
Another person.
Sometimes I hate you,
and others, I don't.
I think I love you,
but I really don't know.

I will build for you,
a path of coal and ash and stone
Cold upon flesh,
expended, marring, broken, and ******

Stumbling blind,
dead end in sight
Promises hollow as bone,
Fingertips tear at the throat,

Choking on nothing, veins swell and burst
Blocking the light, denying the hope,
Abide the noose and it's hunger,
Define, the feeling of fear,
Reminded of the grasp of sweet slumber

I remain puzzled by my own puzzles,
of pieces the universe strung together through its orbits,
of the shades of blue and pink and steel grey it painted
on my wrists and my cheeks and my tiny feet
for there is no reason why I should crave silence,
yet my ears thirst for it, and the noise of life too
I long to let loose, yet I keep my chest sewn shut
I have so much to say, but speaking drains me
because the warm and the cold runs and spins and stirs
and standing here, I remain confused
as I wonder what to be
and wander through the land and sea
searching for who to be.