my eyes are heavy
but i will not fall asleep
just incase you call

o.o.

i hear you say
"i don't want to hurt you"
as i feel your words, like a knife
pierce through my chest
and go through my heart
and suddenly my passion
is deflated like a balloon
being pricked by a pin
-
"i don't want to hurt you"
but this feels like an elephant
is stepping on my chest
and i hurt.
despite your narrowing efforts
to keep me feeling safe
please stop making me feel like
i should just jump into the lake

o.o.

Listening to the killers
At 12am in attempt to numb my brain
It's normal at this age they say
To become overwhelmed with pain
My head is heavy and dizzy
I've heard that blood will stain
But there's no need to worry
If anything my voice will strain
When I yell at you for being so blind
I feel like a tiny grain
Of sand that you have forgotten about
I write down my thoughts in attempt to refrain
From causing you any inconvenience
Like how the sky opens up and it rains
The windshield wipers on your car barely work
You complain
It's okay, you can't see, you're allowed to
But I feel like I'm going insane
And I need you to try to at least pick up on the signs
That are small. I'm able to maintain
An even smile though.

o.o.

Space is big and scary
And maybe even infinite
And one thing I know to be true
Is that I am alive
And I am breathing
And the beauty of the night sky
Can bring tears to my eyes
But I wish you were here
Because I'd then be able
To see the two most beautiful things in
The entire universe
At the same time

o.o.

I want to kiss you
Leaving hickeys down your neck
And feel butterflies in my stomach
I want you more than
Anything in the world
Please want me too

o.o.

its 2am
and I don’t know where the time has gone.
the sky has opened up and the rain is coming down
it makes me feel calm and happy
something that most people don’t feel
when the earth is crying.
the thunder is far away
and the soft rumble keeps me company.
thoughts of you are running through my head
again. i wonder if they ever get tired.
sometimes i wish that i would have
people for company
not just the thunder and my own thoughts.
i hope to someday find a person
who enjoys the rain as much as me
and who isn’t afraid of staying up late
and indulging in the stillness of the early morning.
it’s not raining much anymore
its almost 3am

o.o.

10/31/15 12:40am

i want to kiss you
on the lips, your cheek, your neck
and please don’t forget
that kissing me will be nothing like you’re used to
because my lips are not candy
and my hands will not wander

o.o.