I woke lastnight from a terrible dream All of a sudden I heard you scream I sat up I was soaked with sweat It was cold and dark and the sun has set I saw you in alot of pain When I see you hurt I go insane I can't remember most of it But I saw you sitting on the bed All alone and holding your head Please baby do not cry For I'm the reason and that's no lie I'm coming home to you No more tears I will be true I will hold you oh so tight No more nightmares through the night
I have put up a wall. One that kept getting taller and taller after each lie. I closed off my heart and convinced myself that not having feelings for anyone would keep me from getting hurt again. After being manipulated for so long, you start to manipulate yourself. You turned me into you. You made me believe that every person I meet will let me down and break my heart. You made me believe that I wasn’t enough for the next one. You made me believe that without you I was nothing. But without you I found everything.
I wake in tears. My heart is a scarlet mess, broken sutures, split stiches, torn incisions not from surgery, but from the precise pain of losing someone and remembering said loss when I awake.