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610 · Oct 2016
run
Little Bear Oct 2016
run
no matter how tight
he holds me
the need to run
beats
within my heart
the fear
of being captured
is that
of a wild animal
eyes wide
heart beating
pacing
looking for the
door
instinct to
run
i cannot sleep
i dare not

i dare not

for when my eyes
close
i fear
i am
caught
606 · Sep 2016
♡❤☼♡❤
Little Bear Sep 2016
he had a certain kind
of glow
to his love

it shone out of him
like rays
of
sunlight
warming the skin

as it saturated
him;
his gentle spirit
spilled
like
drops
of
sunshine
upon our faces

his eyes
held
daylight
so beautifully

he could
light up the
whole sky
605 · May 2016
Little bears can't fly
Little Bear May 2016
I have tried to fly
but don't think it's for me
trying on wings
just so i could see

Most they were pretty
and some of them small
but this little bear
couldn't fly at all

Some were so grand
and some were just plain
i tried them all on
again and again

And each time i tried
to fly in mid air
it didn't feel right
being way up there

So i'll leave it to those
who have their own wings
and let them fly high
where their music sings

And most little bears
just want to be free
to wander the woods
so that's where i'll be

And I will stay here
i'll make my own sound
and sing my own song
where my feet touch the ground.
604 · Sep 2016
made of magic
Little Bear Sep 2016
i think love
must be
made of magic

you see..

i watched
closely
as they held hands

touching gently
with their fingers
entwined
like..

if they let go

even for
just
a moment

they would be
lost
without each other
forever..

and  
so

i thought..

what else could love be
if it were not made
of magic?

what else could
hold you
so utterly
and completely
together

with just the
touch of
your
fingertips?
Little Bear Aug 2016
never has my heart ached
so much
as to see the nightmare unfold
i have shed the tears
only fit for a funeral
and when you are done
i will be here
i will paint colours today
as bright as the sky
more than rainbows
as big as the ******* moon
and dip my brush in my tears to clean
to rid my deep
of you
glitter will fill my room
and flowers bloom
i will play music
and shake the earth today
i will tear down every wall
to wipe you out
break every glass
and eat the shards
so i don't have the ******* taste of you
in my mouth
rip out my ******* veins
to purge your ******* venom
i don't know how to unfeel this hate
hate hurts
and bleeds on my hands
and everything i touch
will be tainted
but i won't have that
no ******* way
you've danced me in my life
long enough
*******
my meat suit never looked good on you anyway
you didn't even have the opposable thumbs
to do the buttons up
how do you process hate?
it ******* hurts
like a foreign body
wearing mine
again
an outpouring of grief
upon the ground
my heart aches
aches
i want to take it out
history repeats repeats repeats.. like cucumbers :D
i still don't feel hate, or anything close for this one, only hate for the things that were done.
603 · Sep 2016
All she is
Little Bear Sep 2016
She was the
sky
stretched
so thin
she could not
stop the stars
from falling
a fire storm
that yearned
For its flames
To be
back burned
holding her
from her own
destruction
a tidal wave
wiping land and
forest clear and
in her devastation
Her tears would
never be
Enough
and yet
all she
Is;

All she is

Is  
just a
child

with out
love

begging
to be held
595 · Sep 2016
Untitled
Little Bear Sep 2016
I don't think he knows
how much
he fills my
heart;
how
his movements
have made themselves
at home inside..
he makes me want
to push back
the furniture
just so
I can watch
him dance
589 · Apr 2016
Rainbow skies
Little Bear Apr 2016
it's 12 degrees and sunny
and all the rainbows are asleep
in their slumber all is quiet
and in my heart their love I keep

it's 12 degrees and sunny
though the clouds may threaten rain
still the garden grows quite glorious
they love me not and back again

it's 12 degrees and sunny
with eyes of winter blue
the seasons often changing
as they are inclined to do

it's twelve degrees and sunny
smiling eyes of earthy brown
give pleasure to the gardener
from sun up to sun down

it's twelve degrees and sunny
they make everyday like spring
their love will put the stars to shame
with the rainbow skies they bring
For my children
x
588 · Jun 2016
from within
Little Bear Jun 2016
for years i have lived
within this
bubble
a bubble that i made
to keep me safe
keeps me safe
within
keeps me away
clear
transparent
like elasticated glass
i see the world
from within
and have felt safe
from within
it keeps the world
at arms length
safe and away
keeps me away
within
keeps me safe
but
i can't touch the outside
from within
my fingertips press the clear
press the transparent
press the glass
and it gives
under my touch
as my fingers enter
the world beyond
i have need
i have longing
i want
i want to go
beyond
to feel the outside
to touch
and breathe
and live
beyond
the within
to escape the
bubble
that i had created
so that i was free
time to move on, to move forward, to live a little.
588 · Aug 2016
no idea
Little Bear Aug 2016
you have no idea
how tightly
i hold on
i hold on
to everything
everything that keeps me
from running
staying
staying
is the hardest thing
to do
all i have to do
is let go
you have no idea
just how easy
that is
no idea
just how easy
it is
to just disappear
easy
so
very
easy
just
like
that
...
and
i'm
gone
571 · May 2016
Your Sunshine
Little Bear May 2016
The spring showers fell like your love
drenching my soul
and even in the pouring rain
I shone silver from behind the clouds.

I was your hot summer haze
parching the earth
dappled by leaves
warming the buttercups to a shining yellow.

Autumn leaves swirled
russets and browns blanketing the ground
and I shone for you low in the sky
from east to west.

The winter snow fell
and I sparkled clear silver
like the diamonds that glistened
in your hair, your eyes.

I was always your sunshine
a bright clear warmth in your days
a burning sun
a reflection of you.

And you will be forever my seasons
each a changing wonder in my world
and I will love you the entire year of my life
571 · Aug 2016
Doctor Who
Little Bear Aug 2016
You lot, you spend all your time thinking about dying.
Like you're going to get killed by eggs or beef or global
warming or asteroids, but you never take time to imagine
the impossible:

Maybe you survive.

The Ninth Doctor
568 · Aug 2016
♡❀♡❀♡❀♡
Little Bear Aug 2016
the very idea
that we are just here
to struggle
to live
and to work
until we die

seems somewhat
absurd
and yet

there are those
who would say

to live out your
dreams
and to love
without limits
and to search
in all ways
for light

is such a fanciful notion

but i think..
i would much rather have a life
full of fanciful notions
than absurd ones
562 · Apr 2016
poems.
Little Bear Apr 2016
Sometimes I don't understand poems
I read the words and...
I actually think..
maybe I don't have the intelligence
to understand them.
I marvel at how beautiful the poems are.
How deep and profound.

I use words that I know.
Words that I understand and
sometimes, I look in the dictionary
to find a better word for the way I feel.

So I tend to use beautiful and lovely a lot..
Because to me,
there are no better words
than quite beautiful
or completely lovely.

But the poems I don't understand well...
maybe they are not meant for me.
I can't see the message,
the meaning or the story
behind the inspiration.
But I know who ever wrote them
poured their heart out
and shared it with us all.

And so I do think
I am somewhat under intelligent.
But... I do have a love of words.
I love to read
and I love to write
more than anything.

So, every poem that I read and like,
even if I don't understand the meaning,
I will have loved it for it's structure
and the shape it takes on the page.
The way the words taste in my mouth.
The song they play in my ears.
The way all the words,
put in the right order,
make my heart feel.

And I do feel the passion,
it makes me blush..
but I like that,
to feel how it moves me
deep inside.
It reminds me that I can indeed love.
And I am very much alive.

So, even if I don't understand the message
or know the meaning or hear the story.
The words within the poems I read,
are always going to be my favourite thing.

They will always be quite beautiful
and completely lovely.
560 · Feb 2016
Are we ready?
Little Bear Feb 2016
Okay guys, time to get up.
Time to rise, time to shine.
No.. you can't stay home today..
It's time to rise and....
No, you are not in a coma
Because you're breathing... and talking.
Yes, breakfast is ready.
I don't know where your book is..
Come on, you need to wash first.
Yes, before you get dressed.
Well tell him he's not in a coma..
Okay, breakfast first.
Tell him, if he doesn't wake from his coma soon
there will be no break... he said he's dead?
Okay, no yummy waffles for dead people then..
Yes, you need your book.
It's probably beside your bed.
Oh good, how did I know?
It was just a hunch..
No, I don't have a hunch.. It was a hunch..
Like an idea...
Idea... I.D.E.A, have you cleaned your teeth?
Ah coma boy, glad you could join us.
Your shoes are where you left them.
No, there's a left one and a right one.
Left.. where you left them, that's right..
Okay..okay..find two shoes that belong to you and
put them on your feet..
You can't take the hamster to school..
Okay...you can't take 'Jason' to school.
sigh because he doesn't have a uniform...
What is in your hair?
So it smells minty...?
Okay, get a damp cloth..
I can see him wriggling in your pocket.
Yes, we are late again.
Half past eight.
Okay, just.. just..put the potato back.
One, it's not cooked and two, it won't fit in your lunch box.
Why is Jason in your.. just put him back.
You need a spooky costume today?
Why are you telling me now?
For tomorrow...
Good heavens, you will have to take a sheet off the line.
Well, it will be dry by the time we get to school.
Okay, are we ready?
You need a ***?
Just *** really quick.
Well, *** faster..
No, I don't have a hunch...
I'm praying...
Okay.. are we ready?
Then let's go.
Getting children ready for school should be an Olympic event. And sometimes, the only thing you hear is your own voice.


Re-posted from my previous account.
556 · Jan 2016
Enough.
Little Bear Jan 2016
I was bound and gagged by my dignity
My virtue struggles to hold my voice hostage
I practice restraint but my bonds have slipped
And while I wait for the feeling to return to my hands
I bounce the ball in my solitary confinement
My silence screams so loud in my ears,
can you not hear it?

"I am coming for you!"
553 · Apr 2016
....
Little Bear Apr 2016
they were my works of art
and you gave them away
you imagined them for me
but you gave them to mere passersby

you painted a world of
watercolour dreams
oils of glorious skies
nights drew in with charcoals

drawing abstract stars
and graffiti moons
that shone over our love of love
our waterfall of wondrous things

but now the paint has dried
it cracks and you give slithers of it
to every passing fancy that looks your way
to muses with Mona Lisa smiles

my works are gone
given out as sweet treats
honey for the flies
catching the artists eye

and I fade to black
charcoal underlines my eyes
and not even my abstract stars shine
Little Bear Jul 2016
if the world would only but fall away
and i be left in the void
such need for silence such need for still
to be without
without even the ...
everything
of everything
or anything
but mostly ...
everything
i used all my spoons
and borrowed from tomorrow
and some from Friday too
too loud too hard too noise
too sound too feel too many
too hear too taste too sense
too full too open too wide
too much too much
too much
all i can do is close the door
and be glad
i can't get out
http://thespoontheory.tumblr.com/post/44757754831/faq
548 · Aug 2016
Small
Little Bear Aug 2016
The size of the world
never changes
and yet
there are times
when it feels
so very big,
or maybe
it's just me,
feeling so
incredibly
small,
so
incredibly
small  
that i wonder
if I might slip
through the cracks..
and disappear
entirely
545 · Jan 2016
First kiss..
Little Bear Jan 2016
Meeting you today, after all these years.
Well my heart almost stopped.
I turned the corner and there you were,
with your beautiful little family.

I was stunned, they are all so beautiful... your children.
I just needed a moment to take it all in.
And that smile you gave me...
**** I didn't think it would take me back so many years...
just like that..

It must be 18.. no.. no 19 years..
You haven't changed,
not one bit..
not to me anyway.

You stood there, holding hands... so in love.
I was... I am.. so happy for you.
My first kiss... with you...was actually so perfect.
My first kiss... with you.

But you are married and happy.
Your children have their Daddy's dimples..
And their Mummy's blue eyes.
You are all so happy.. I love that.
I truly do, with all my heart.

And so as we said our goodbyes,
you looked at me.
Just for a moment too long.
I know you thought of it too, that kiss..
And I blushed.. **** it...
After all this time, you can still do that to me.

And as you walked away,
I watched you go...
I know I might never see you again.
But I will always remember my first kiss...
with you
That and your beautiful blue eyes.
My first real kiss was with a girl, we were best friends :o)
539 · Nov 2016
Untitled
Little Bear Nov 2016
did i let go
of you ?
or did you
let go of me?
did i slip
through
your fingers?
or did you
slip through
mine?
either way
we were
careless
and now..
now
you
couldn't
538 · Mar 2016
....
Little Bear Mar 2016
you make me laugh
and I smile at your words
my heart is lifted
and my soul is fed

your words flow
intravenously
into my blood
like I need you to survive
to keep me alive

pictures painted
with consonants and vowels
a string of words
that bind my wrists
my heart

and I am there with you
for every step you take
my feet
my heart
will follow you
where ever you lead

you make me cry
tears of anger and loss
tears shed at your plight
I hoped and prayed
that this time
when I read your story again
that this time
maybe you wouldn't die.
I love reading, I re-read a book recently that made me cry...
I was at work and someone said "oh you are crying.. why, what happened?" and I said "I knew the character died, but... I hoped this time he wouldn't.."
Yeah.. a bit silly :o)
533 · Jul 2016
floaty little word
Little Bear Jul 2016
There's this crazy little word
floating all about
inside my fuzzy ol' head
and it's dooing that pitter patty pat thing
to my silly old heart

and it's awhispering sweetly
little puffs of breath
whispering all magical
to my pink and glitter heart

"Shhh now silly,
stop and listen.
look silly heart,
look inside and you'll see

you feel that pitter patty pat thing?
well, you know when that happens, you're a gonna
it's that crazy little thing that's ahappening to your heart
the thing that's made of always, the thing that's made of forever
you feels it dontcha?
the pitter patty pat thing?

well, i'm afraid i hafta tellya
that that floaty little word
that's messin with your fuzzy little head
and dooing that pitter patty patting on your silly old heart
*is called love"
530 · May 2016
Where the flowers grow
Little Bear May 2016
I dream of you where the flowers grow
such visions of contentment
where your voice is the stream that I follow
as it leads me to dappled shade
and beyond there are meadows of love
and the fields give life to happiness.

As I lay within my thoughts
your arms cover me in buttercups
clover softens my head
and dandelions touch my skin
as gently as your fingertips.

The smiling yellow faces look towards the sun
and your love feels like daisies
the ladybirds and I love you so
a gently growing blossom about my feet
you love me, you love me not, you will always love me

In a myriad of purple hues  
I hear your happiness like budlia
the bees and I love you so
dizzily dancing to taste your joy about my head
I love you, I love you not, I will always love you

I see tide upon tide of the brightest blue
a sea of remembrance, every petal is a kiss
and the butterflies and I love you so
they drink deeply and float about the breeze
evoking the fondest memories of you
*forget me not, forget me, please.. forget me not
527 · May 2016
Sweet dreams
Little Bear May 2016
No my baby
your monsters aren't real
now go back to sleep
there's no big deal

Yes my love
have the sweetest of dreams
it's just shadows you see
and dancing moonbeams

No little one
it's not your monsters you see
no need to be frightened
they are here for me

Yes my child
mummy knows how to fight
i'll be right back
night night sleep tight
Little Bear Sep 2016
some times
i feel the need
to pull away
the need
to hide

from everyone

sometimes
i just find the world
so overwhelming
so much about it
crushes my soul
it hurts

but

even when i want
to be invisible
a little voice inside
whispers
'i wish you would
come find me'

and

despite the pain i feel
being trodden
under foot
it simply doesn't
compare
to the pain
of missing you

when all i want to do
is disappear
522 · May 2016
Morning coffee :o)
Little Bear May 2016
Enjoying my morning coffee
in the first moments of the day
while sharing my sleepy thoughts
with the birds early song.
And the symphony that plays
might be just for me
if I close my eyes
and imagine it to be.
The day is waking up with me
and the blue sky yawns and stretches wide above.
Such contentment there is
in making plans for a happy day
while looking for ways to make it so.
Nothing could be akin to this moment
such simple pleasures for my simple soul.
521 · Aug 2016
adventure time
Little Bear Aug 2016
i wield a sword
fit for a warrior
to pry marrow from bone
bone from marrow

to discern truth
from lie
lie from truth

a breastplate
of pure gold
reflecting light

light enough to fight
enough light
to fight
for love

a fire to set ablaze
is held within my hand

to vanquish and defend
to burn back
reclaim
to cleanse

to bring home
those who are lost
so afraid
and so alone

my feet
shod in words of hope
to give
when darkness falls

as even the very wise
cannot see what lies
in wait
in these dark and tired days

my eyes
given the gift of sight
beyond the realms
of possibility

and a heart of pity
enough to feel
to win
to heal
broken and desolate
souls

but the greatest gift
was the shield of immortality
lovingly crafted
bowed
bestowed

and as age becomes age
and time falls into time

my path is set
in oath

his hoard becomes mine
to quest
alongside

wearing my shining
dragon scales
okay.. i'm not sure where i'm going with this.. might delete it altogether. Needs work i think.. and i need coffee.
517 · Sep 2016
******
Little Bear Sep 2016
When i am dead
I want you to
remember
that i loved
you
from deep within
my bones
but

when they scatter
my ashes
You will see
What it meant
for my bones
to be loved
by you  


only
then
will you see
how
Feeling your love
made me fly


That your love
always made me
Fly
without fear
of ever having
to land
516 · Sep 2016
Untitled
Little Bear Sep 2016
As we lay there
he pulled me close
he knew my eyes
"tell me..
he said..
tell me what troubles
are hidden behind
those eyes, my love
and let us put them
far away"
and as his fingers
softly brushed
the hair
from my eyes..
for the life of me
i couldn't remember
a single
one
510 · Apr 2016
hanging on
Little Bear Apr 2016
Assuming the familiar comfort
of a fetal position
I am waiting the day out
rocking gently
to daydreams
of every possible way to die
my muscles ache
they burn
and i'm trying so hard
not to shake apart
my seams are frayed
pulling apart
and I can see inside
see what I am filled with
knowing just what I am made of
my nerves are in tatters
as I try to bind the ends
a fruitless task
I wait for this time to pass
but even the thread I hang by
shakes it's head
and wishes me luck
Little Bear Jun 2016
Reading chapter two of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.

Tis a bit ******* but fun and not at all in any seriousness.

https://soundcloud.com/rachael-435397529
505 · Mar 2016
Heros (sorry... it's long)
Little Bear Mar 2016
In the stories that I read as a child,
the leading character was always the hero.
And, I always imagined the hero to be tall and strong,
handsome and capable.
Maybe they were loud, brash and brave.
But they were always fearless.
Displaying outstanding courage in the face of adversity.
Seeking justice, going to war,
doing battle with those
who would destroy us all...
us being..
the little guy..

They were never the little guy.
They were always someone who I would never be.
To me well, I would always be the one getting saved
and not the one doing the saving.

And as I grew up I realised, to my horror,
that none of this was real.
Heros like this did not exist and that real life is most certainly not a fairy tale.
And some of it, stranger than any fiction I've ever read,
and believe me,
I've read some ****....

'Heros' like this will very rarely come to save you.
But, I will tell you something...
If there is one thing in life I have learned it would be that,
there are heros,
and those heros are in fact...
us.
The little guy.
Me
and You.

And... In our own stories,
we get to play the leading character..
but only if we choose to.

You see...
In fairy tales you do indeed have the fearless warrior.
They dance and sing their way through the stories,
where the village is saved, the wicked witch is destroyed,
were monsters are caged and villains are brought to justice.

But,
more often than not,
the real hero of those stories
is the little princess
who wields the frying pan.
The young girl from the village
who cuts off her hair
and defeats a whole army.
The girl in a small town
who loves to read
and shows real courage and tames the beast.
The boy who,
over coming his physical disabilities,
tames and flies,
of all things,
a dragon.
Showing the whole town he is indeed..
a warrior.

And I could not continue this long *** analogy
without mentioning the story of Frodo and Sam.
Through the mines of Moria,
across the dead marshes and lets not forget who defeats Shelob...
on to Mordor where they reach mount Doom.
Almost defeated, Frodo could not take another step
when carrying the ring,
it was just too much to bear
to finally put in the fire of mount Doom.

And then, even after being sent home,
it was actually Sam..
Sam the gardener,
Sam the loyal companion who faithfully,
with courage and determination,
carried Frodo and battles on to the end.
He,
Sam the gardener,
was the real hero of the story.

Time and time again it will be the little guy who saves the day,
time and time again it's the little guy,
the underdog,
the one least likely to succeed
who will be the true hero.
They will have been told they are not smart,
worth nothing,
are unimportant.
Sound familiar?

They will have been through many trails and tribulations,
many which could and in fact should
have brought them to their knees,
but it didn't,
it hasn't...

Because,
like us little guys,
they know what is right,
they know what is good
and they know that they must carry on
because,
if they don't,
well...
the bad guy wins.

And it is the same for us in our every day lives.
And in our own stories you will find,
you have the biggest part to play.
Should you choose to play it.

We face our own villains, demons and ogres.
For us these come in the form of anxiety,
depression, addiction,
abusive partners,
disability and a thousand other things
that can and does bring us to our knees.

And time after time you will show courage
when you think you have none.
You will be brave when you think you are not.
You will carry on,
even when you are face down in the dirt.
I too have been there,
many times.

And sometimes,
things are so desperate,
too hard for us to bear alone.
We can't be all that we want to be..
and so enters our story...
our friends.

In almost every story I have ever read,
in every moment that I thought I could not carry on,
there will be someone else
who sneaks up beside me...

And these will be our companions,
our sidekicks,
our friends.
They will be the ones who hold us up.
Those who will cheer us on.
Those who will mop our brow,
straighten our collar and send us out fighting again.
They too are the heros,
and where indeed would we be
without them?

So please,
take heart that we do not travel this journey alone.
We are not the only one in our story.
There will be others to help us along the way.

Some may stay for only a page or two,
some for a few chapters,
and others you won't be able to shake
for love nor money..

And so,
when things are at their worst,
when it is the darkest hour,
when all seems lost,
they too will be there,
at your side..
you just might have to write them in.

And they will be with you.
Being the little guy.
The hero.
Right along side us..
****.. sorry it's long..
My excuse is that writing is my one true love.
I just wanted to write about the heros,
our friends, in our ordinary lives..
and this happened :o)

Probably quite **** really but I got carried away.
500 · Jun 2016
Sadness
Little Bear Jun 2016
Sadness is when a child wishes their mother a happy father's day.
498 · Aug 2016
sleeping with the lights on
Little Bear Aug 2016
i sleep with the lights on
not because i am afraid of the dark
but because
what lingers in the dark
is afraid of the light
497 · Aug 2016
♡❤♡❤♡❤
Little Bear Aug 2016
the truth is
we are all children
playing dress up
paying for our
futures
with plastic money
eating Playdoh
beliveing
it's chicken soup

hoping for it
to make us feel



*better
unless that is
you can feel the earth beneath your feet as it moves
and the lost soul next to you

make love
not believe
495 · Aug 2016
wallflower
Little Bear Aug 2016
just a little*
wallflower
a tiny little
small flower
floating on the breeze
of someone
else's
love
♡♡♡
493 · Nov 2023
homeward
Little Bear Nov 2023
coming home at half past dusk
my body is so very weary
my fingers are cold
my tummy
empty
my thoughts are of home
as i trudge my way
through the darkness

a darkness that falls like
autumn leaves.

from late afternoon
the darkness settles
on the ground

starting with the sky
it falls like a billowing eiderdown
onto a cold autumnal bed

twilight flutters
and spiraling down
it slips quietly between the streets
filling fields

covering
in layer upon layer
of blues and violet hues
upon the houses
and the buildings below

tiny stars begin to glow
as the sky turns to indigo

dreams fall upon the cars
and their lonely passengers

radios on
heater cranked to ten

everyone yawning with wishes of home
waiting for the lights to change

commanders of stop and go
the sentry lollipops
are shining their beams
that dazzle so bright

like stars that burn my eyes
as only i can see
the mirage of wondrous colours

its funny how the imperfections
in my vision
make the ordinary
extra ordinary
as i am blinded by something
not real
unreal
more than ordinary

glorious illusions
of glittering light
and as i slowly open
and close my eyes
playing with
the beams to elongate
bend and dazzle
red, gold and  green
blinking in disbelief
at the traffic lights delight

night falls and dutifully
it carpets the world

from work
to home
from home
to work
from work
to home...

ad infinitum

coming home
at the end of the day
to the aroma of stew
the warmth of love

my key opens the lock to a
temporary freedom

and the so begins the unwinding
of the machines fingers
the hamster wheel stops at the door
and gratitude fills my soul as i walk in
through the real world portal

dogs barking
cats milling
food
laughter
love

yes this...
and only this....

this is a joyous wage
for a job well done
493 · Jan 2016
The Show...
Little Bear Jan 2016
Lenka - The Show**

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze, and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go
Can't do it alone
I've tried, but I don't know why

Slow it down, make it stop
Or else my heart is going to pop
Cause it's too much, yeah it's a lot
To be something I'm not

I'm a fool out of love
Cause I just can't get enough

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze, and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go
Can't do it alone
I've tried, but I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down
I know, I've got to let it go

And just enjoy the show

The sun is hot in the sky
Just like a giant spotlight
The people follow the signs
And synchronize in time

It's a joke, nobody knows
They got a ticket to the show
Yeah

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze, and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go
Can't do it alone
I've tried, and I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down
I know, I've got to let it go

And just enjoy the show

Just enjoy the show
I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze, and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go
Can't do it alone
I've tried, but I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down
I know, I've got to let it go

And just enjoy the show

Dum De Dum, Duh Dum De Dum
Just enjoy the show
Duh Dum De Dum, Duh Dum De Dum
Just enjoy the show

I want my money back
I want my money back
I want my money back

Just enjoy the show

I want my money back
I want my money back
I want my money back

Just enjoy the show

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-qbbCsAeM&index;=1&list;=RDM-qbbCsAeM
I love this song... Pretty much my life right now...
490 · Jan 2016
Just say it like it is.
Little Bear Jan 2016
Why don't the weather presenters just say it like it is?

Why do they say 'Oh a high of 34 it's going to be a glorious day'...

When really that is a completely ridiculous temperature,
Its boiling and I know my head is going to melt just getting to the bus stop. I'm going to have a face like a baboons **** by the end of the day... but no... it's glorious. ******* is it...

Watch out for those icy roads...

No... but thank you for your concern. I however will be doing my best Bambi on **** roller skates impersonation because the roads are gritted but the pavements are like ******* sheet ice. I might need a replacement hip joint by the end of the day.

There could be an accumulation of snow overnight...

Well if an accumulation means three flakes and the town grinding to a halt, I'm moving to a ******* Alaska. At least I could get to work on time. Even commuting from there would be quicker than my bus driver detouring around three ******* flakes, one of which looks suspiciously like a bit of lint.

Why don't they tell the truth?

Why don't they say okay, it's going to be ******* freezing, I wouldn't bother. Phone in work and say your dog is sick, make something up because you are going to regret every **** step you take to work.

Or... it's going to be a snow day,

The schools will be shut so your shop is going to be rammed with rosy cheeked, sniveling kids with their chubby fingers in your pick and mix all day. Kids in the street are going to be complete **** holes and pelt you with snow because their aim is crap and they should be inside in the warm on their computers...

or Mate... its ******' it down...

You might want to build an ark at some point. Your dog won't even go out in it, it will sit whining it's miserable snout off at the door all ******* day because it wont use a litter tray...

But your cat will be happy... smug little ****.
And now, the weather..
Little Bear Sep 2021
🌻🍄🌼🦔🍃🍂🍁🍂
Autumn awaits and the warmth of home
becomes ever more precious.
As the turning wheel presses ever onward,
the nights will draw in,
and i find i need to settle among
love and happiness
more than ever.
🍂🍁🍄🍂🍃🌼🍄🦔
488 · Aug 2016
how to begin
Little Bear Aug 2016
so i went back into that room
and saw what i knew to still be there
covered in dust
blood
ash
and years of silence

not disturbing the scene
i closed my eyes to remember
the scent was still the same
death and fumes
and the quiet still deafened

but this is a necessary evil
i have to remember how to begin

and the floor still had my footprints
from years before
the blood, dried and dark
but they were mine
from where i last stood
in fear

i looked within the ashes
and found tiny footprints
the same as mine
all fleeing
toward me
and gathering around my own

and i saw where his led
out towards the door
wide steps that had paced and roared
black eyes
rolled over
like a sharks eyes
biting chunks from our souls
and i remember he called us ****
and he spat
he raged until he could not speak
spitting obscenities
clawing our soft baby skin

and we stood in silence
trying to remember
how to breathe

as he went
the door slammed so hard
the kitchen window cracked
we payed it no mind
but watched the door
holding hands and apron strings
holding our fingers to our lips
whispering
"please don't come back"

the sound of our silence
was the beginning
and now
i am in this room again
for myself this time
trying to to remember
how to begin once more

i take in the memory of that day
and again i lock it away
where it belongs
where it has lain dormant
for so many years

but now
now i add another
to the shelf alongside

this little memory box
burns my fingers
as i hold it
just this one time
as i put it in it's place

this one is made of teeth
and not bone
like the one before

it will be placed with the others
out if sight
and far out of reach
of my heart

i step out of the ashes
and leave behind
the tiny footprints
that had followed mine
out of this room
on that day

small, bloodied and wrecked
but still they followed
holding hands
and apron strings
following me
as i led them home

and this is how i remembered
how to begin
as i stepped from the room

i went to my children
with my heart in my hands

and in return
they gave me their love
to cushion my heart
they told me the things
i had forgotten

they told me how to begin
how to love

no matter the blood
no matter the ash
no matter the bone
no matter the teeth

i know i had forgotten
so many things
and they gave me in return
the thoughts that i had lost

upon their blessings
the hate in me cried out
as it was loved into submission

tiny feet led me by my apron strings
showing me how
i had once shown them
how to begin again
488 · Jun 2016
My Dad x
Little Bear Jun 2016
I'm quite sure that i have loved my Dad
from the minute that i was born.
My Mum handed me to him, wrapped as a pink bundle,
and he handed her a wilted bunch of tulips.
By all accounts she was pleased.

He later told me that he had loved me
from the minute i was born.

And throughout my childhood my Dad became
my greatest ally, my partner in crime, my best friend.

Only one time did he ever smack me and i ****** well deserved it.
Well... if setting fire to police garages on Christmas eve doesn't deserve a clip round the ear, then i don't know what does.

He was a provider, he cared and protected his family all of his life, Even when he married my Mum, his time was spent caring for his elderly parents some 60 miles away, every weekend, without fail. That is until they passed away, within a day of each other..
a broken heart they say.

My Dad was born in 1947 in London, to a family who's Father had fought in World war 2. He was the youngest of 6. His family were really quite poor. Well, most were so.. that in itself was not unusual.

On the rare occasion that he did go to school he wore football boots and a cowboy costume... because it was the smartest thing he owned.

He would always bunk off school, stole milk and bread from the milkman's cart.. at his Mums say so, and broke all the stained glass windows in the Methodist church.

He met my Mum when they were both 14 years old. They went to the same same school and soon became sweethearts.

My Grandparents were none too happy with my Mums choice of boyfriend.. as my Dads Father was a rag and bone man..
and my Mum's Father was the milkman.

But, my Dad was a good man and, despite the poverty and circumstance of his childhood, he never went hungry. Well.. not very hungry.. They would have bacon bone stew which somehow lasted a week. Free bread and milk and unconditional love.

He grew up knowing the value of kindness and the insignificance of possessions.

My Mums parents came to love him as their own son, his genuine kindness shone through his rough exterior and his love of family was all they needed as a reassurance to date their daughter.

They saw he was indeed a good man... the very best.

They married in 1966 in the Methodist church and had two children, one of them was little old me.

My Dad and I were inseparable. He would tell me fairy stories, take me on walks to find elves and pixies, cook with me, laugh with me, brush my hair, take me everywhere with him.

I grew up knowing what a real Man should be.
I loved him with all my heart.
And he loved me with all of his.

When he died suddenly, 8 years ago today, I knew I would be okay.

Don't get me wrong, I miss him every moment of everyday that has passed since.

But everyday of his life I told him that I loved him. Everyday we talked and every time we laughed with each other. Everyday I knew I could tell him anything, everyday I showed him that I loved him, everyday he knew he was appreciated and that i respected and looked up to him.

All I wished in return was to know that he was proud of me
and to have his love.

And he told me so everyday.

So when he died.. i knew i would be okay...

There was nothing left unsaid between us, nothing to regret, nothing to wish that had done or said differently.

The only wish i have is that he was still here.

My Dad loved me from the minute i was born, until the minute he died.

And i have surely loved him from the minute i was born,
and will always, until the minute i die.
Here it is 7:30 am and by now, i had already had the call.
487 · May 2016
Dream in colour
Little Bear May 2016
I like to dream in colour
with sparkles on the side
I like to think in rainbows
even when I've cried

My thoughts forever sunshine
no matter that it rains
daisy chains and starlight
make me happy once again

Softly soft my words
are uttered as a song
sorry sorry sorry
whenever I do wrong

Buttons will fix everything
just sew them on with love
freckles glow with sunshine
that's what they are made of

The world to me's a daydream
with starry skies above
a universe of wonder
paints the heavens with it's love

It might not be the truth
but it feels that way to me
just imagine with your heart
dream in colour and you'll see.
Little Bear Jul 2016
you run
i run
you stop
i stop
you chase
i run
you hunt
i become prey
you shout
i cower
you fight
i hide
you abuse
i will never come back
but if
you talk
i will listen
you listen
i will talk
you are tender
i will grow
you want
i will give
you smile
i will cherish
you lead
i will follow
you love
i am yours
alternatively titled "don't be a ****, this person has been through a enough already and doesn't need you to shout your mouth off and act like an ****"
484 · May 2016
Ordinary
Little Bear May 2016
Do you have any idea just how ordinary I am?
Do you see that you are so much more than me?
I can never be as much as you want
and you will always be more than I can have.
I am left behind and you are so far in front I cannot see you.
I am nothing that you would want
and you are everything to me.
Do not make me more than I am because
I will let you down.
I will never live up to what you perceive of me.
I'm not as amazing as you think,
I am so very less than ordinary.
I am self doubt and loss and everything tragic that is not enough.
I am so very less than ordinary,
So very nothing.
Nothing you would want.
But look at you.
Look at you all shiny and bright.
I wish so very much that I was more like you.
So shiny.
So bright.
You are beautiful...
and I am unworthy of your breath.
Your sight.
Your senses...
they would scream out in protest
if they knew how very very less than ordinary I am.
Please do not look my way.
I do not deserve to see,
to hear,
to breathe.
I wish I could wrap myself into an invisible ball
and you would forget my very existence.
It pains me to know you can see me.
That you know I am here,
existing despite your insistence
that I am something more than ordinary.
Please know that I am not.
As the sun rises and the sun sets,
as mankind is born and dies,
know that I am so very very less than ordinary,
Please don't look for me.
See only that I am not here.
Re-posted from a previous account.
Some times the old stuff I wrote is just as relevant today as it was then.
484 · Jan 2016
Little Bear
Little Bear Jan 2016
i am much too fluffy
i am completely very smol
my heart is made of stuffin'
but it loves you best of all.
480 · Jul 2016
...
Little Bear Jul 2016
...
love
fine line
crazy
479 · Aug 2016
Chaos
Little Bear Aug 2016
In a world made of
heavens
and hells  
he is the earth
Solid and life giving
Yet creating such
chaos
Even the stars
could not fathom.
478 · Mar 2016
you are nice..
Little Bear Mar 2016
oh just how i love you
yes.. your face is just the best
your eyes are very sparkle
like something sparkly.. I guess

oh your lovely freckled face
you have the most nicest skin
it's wrapped up all around you
and keeps your body mostly in

and your voice is just so nice
oh how I like it from afar
it's okay.. what you sound like
it's like dropping pennies in a jar

you are sometimes quite acceptable
but like the moon.. you smell of cheese
and your hair ***** in my face
when it's blowing in the breeze

on the whole I think your great
very nice and not too weird
I think we're made for each other
now we both shaved off our beards
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