I miss some of you
I miss the first date you
With sweaty hands
And nervous laughter
I miss the are you cold? you
Your comfy coat that smells like you
And arm around my shoulder
I miss the prom night you
With your unshaking gaze
And dancing all night
I miss the mission trip you
The ever praising, ever loving
God gave me you you
I miss the lets take a walk you
With the honest talks and
Tears from both of our eyes
I miss the lake picnic you
The only you that I could open up to you
The let’s wear pajamas and funny hats to the movie theatre you
The  drive my jeep you
The poem writing you
The hand holding you
The hugging you
The nose kisses you
And the honest you
I miss some of you
I miss what I thought of you
But if I had known
The honest you was not an honest you
And the I love you repeating
Over and over you
Were not true
Maybe I would miss all of you

I'm here sitting
alone,
the smell of coffee runs through
my veins,
some music i probably will forget
in a few years arguing with
the thought of you,

But I'm here,
I'm here,
writing about what's happening

pretty boring huh?

i call myself a poet
but i can't use high metaphors,

i call myself a poet
but i can't describe fully
how you make me feel

i call myself a poet

but what am i?

I'm just a kid
scared of life
finding new ways to cope
searching for someone to love,
desperate,
not holding unto my dreams
how can i choose with my mind
what's right for the heart to choose.

and you see?
don't you see?

don't worry i can't either

i can't see how great i am
i can't see how other people see me
i wish i could.

i want to believe this was a dream
or
a nightmare at that.

But at last.
I'm here wishing that in another life
i could be with you,
or
maybe in other deaths,

i crave your touch,
i crave you..
with coffee waking up my senses
like a kid in summer waking up early
to go play with his friends.

i wish things were different,
so i wouldn't have to wish.