Grey skies
The bleak end
White lies
They’re all pretend

Out of bed but not awake
It’s in my head and hard to take
I can’t see colour
All black and white
One pain after another
I want to see the light
The demons have won
Hiding under my bed
The demons have won
The battle within my head
I’m tried and drained
Wired and tamed
It’s time i refrained
From this sad life

mothers warn their sons about you
you’re cold disguised as warm
you’re the chest pain the broken hearted girl gets when she hears his name
the loud weep in the club bathroom
you’re the sinking feeling in a stomach
you’re everything ugly in this world and yet
i still find beauty in your crooked smile
in the birthmark just above your hip
the sound of your laugh resonates like a song you just can’t get out of your head
see love is cruel like that
you just can’t shake it
the most beautiful things are always the most damaging
you’re a storm
why else are hurricanes named after people?

Dance with me
Into the night
With not a thought
Or doubt in sight
Sing with me
Till our lungs bleed
We’re drunk on notes
I’ll take the lead
Love with me
I’ll do it well
It’s only you
Your warmth , your smell
Die with me
The very end
Our hearts fulfilled
Our souls will blend

soft skin on soft sheets
on long nights with quiet weeps
your lips are satin
your eyes are pure
making it easy to lure
me into your heart
i can see your skeleton
naked
and divine
grind your bones to paste
lather it on me
like cream on stubborn skin
so I can bathe
bathe in you
pale in blue
hail to you
your crown of bones
your skin- the prize ribbon

I’m not that perfect girl
who never does much wrong
I lie I spite I hurt I hide
you’d run if you were strong
I never think for others
Doing things for my gain
In this world all you have is you
You’ve got to hide the pain
So I wear my mask of evil
To keep you from the truth
Deep inside its pain and hurt
Beyond this mask is proof
My heart it bleeds despair
My brain it makes me ache
My body it fights back with them
But still I will not break
See distance keeps me sane
To keep my soul from crying
As long as my mask is always firm
You will never know I’m dying

I drown in memories of you
I choke on the last breath you drew
Sinking down to the surface
Your words travel down my throat
Gargling, bubbling, spitting
Until I’m consumed by grief
I get paper cut from pictures of you
Your embrace sinking into my skin
Traveling through my bloodstream
Until my engine runs on the loss of you
Browning said “your ghost will walk”
But yours roams the corridors of my shattered heart
One day, your name won’t give me a headache
But until then
Rest in peace

sunlight glows on my skin
a beautiful sheet of gold
doesn’t shield, but enhances
coffee is cold but your light is warm
these days are old but your delight is a storm
beautiful, but dangerous
dangerous because I let you in
dangerous if I let you win
the battle with my heart and myself
you’re a candle in a blackout
a fire in the cold
I’m selfish and thoughtless
selfish for you
instead I drink my coffee
I’m too bad for you
because after all, sunlight and rose thorns don’t mix

I’m the girl in the corner who hides from the crowd
The person who can’t voice her opinion out loud
I’ll say hi and hello but won’t care to stay
I’ll get close to you then push you away
I’ve always gotten by on my own
A truly lonely person, stripped down to the bone
So I’ll keep to myself , until the very end
But that’s okay, rather that than pretend

I wrote poems that didn’t make sense
Sad words tangled in innocence
Words trapped in paper , lost in time
Locked up for committing the most beautiful crime
My pencil sings on paper
Goes skiing on the purest of snow
I can **** words with my eraser
Leaving no trace, nobody will know
My words leave their whispers behind
On show for people to read
Some are sad , some are kind
Read them at your own speed

I was in love with the way her hands felt in mine
so soft and so lost and they made the sun shine
I was in love with her bones and the way they stood proud
they stood with power and they spoke beauty aloud
her hair would shine like the most precious of jewels
her mind was strong , she didn’t play by the rules
her soul was a star, a sun, a moon
could destroy you if you looked too soon
her light ****** you in and now you’re trapped
you had all the beauty it was subtlety you lacked
a black hole , dark and leering and dense
that didn’t stop you from breaking down my fence
I always found beauty in the most dark things
my black hole, do devils have wings?

let me climb under your skin
carried by the magic flowing through your veins
your skin is just your canvas
beneath is a whirlpool of beauty
a fire just beginning
your soul is gleaming
with rage and passion and envy

let me live in your bones
they’re a solestrial being
they’re gold painted white
innocent modesty
they’re moonlight on a river
they are stars in disguise
a sun on the rise
a beautiful demise
of something once dissembled
now together , so pure

Maybe,
If you tattooed my name on your chest,
you’d at least remember how to spell it.
They would be the only words
that ever actually came from your heart.
Yes, my love for you is dead.
Her body is the tomb stone, though.
I’d lay flowers down
but the cemetery stank of her perfume.
It’s tragically ironic, that
every ‘I love you’ you wasted your breath on,
you saved in a jar
that you now give to her.
You drink your coffee with recycled love,
she takes hers with naivety.
And maybe one day,
I’ll stop writing ****** poems
about your touch and your skin and you.
Because one of these nights I’ll throw out your t shirt.
And when the storm inside of you
inevitably ruins you,
and takes her with you,
I’ll be sure to bury you in the same coffin.