don't bother, just break down
make it easy on yourself

flow into nothing
become nothing
identify with none
long for no one

it won't do you any good

in no immense amount of time
i've reappeared at the farthest
point from the finish line

the sky is cloudier than before

the wind that was once at my back
now stings my face without pity

the universe is without remorse
there is no room for that in what
is, what truly is and all that isn't

you will love just to lose
you're either doing one or the other
your friends are there to remind
you of what you can't do
of who you're doomed to become
or more realistically, fall
short of even remotely becoming

you learn to see it as a sadistic blessing
but it becomes complicated when
you crave that pain, when you need it

you attach to what
you know you must denounce

& the sting of exposed humanity
when realized it's all for naught

is a wonderful thing

embrace insignificance, for it's where you really stand
embrace solitude, you're doomed to it by sun and moon
embrace loss, it is more natural than the need to breathe

they are all wonderful things

and like all wonderful things

they do not exist

& i long to feel so wonderful

the vibe became unmanageable
I had to step outside

and when my tenseness was
met with motherly dark
the shouting became
muffled whispers

oh, beautiful night
you know not of
vanity or pride

or senseless need
to assert
intelligence

you just are,
as you have been:

immensely more
profound, than
all that we have been
or will do

it's as simple as that

I take a drag of
my cigarette & smoke
mixes with the
enlightened night air

& the mindless
shouting becomes song