Sunflowers are filled with stories
and power that no individual discusses.
Therefore no one understand why
I love them so much.

Reminding me of early morning sunrises.
The moment when the sun is just
above the trees. With a hue so bright,
they instill happiness into my soul.
Growing so tall they could reach God,
they cannot get enough of His love.
They will never stop trying to reunite
with their Creator because no one
loves them like He.
Representing the incarnation of Clytie
over the loss of Apollo. They say
the grieving of his absence brought her
into her next life and now she only
faces the sun, waiting for his return.

I saw them as my sunshine.
Their rays giving my spirit a new life.
My source of nourishment, they were.
Restoring my soul of the negativity
I came across. The Apollo to my Clytie.
I stood by for their return with hopes of
their absence being make believe,
knowing that they would never come again.

According to most men,
I already ask for too much.
With efforts unnoticed and
potential overlooked, I knew
I was never appreciated enough
to receive flowers.
*53114

My entire life, I've been around the police force.
Mommy, Uncle Tony, and Anita have always been my favorite.
My heroes with the shiny cars and badges.
In my eyes, they are reigning champions of
"good officers still exist" during times like this.

I've never seen a storm last this long,
and I've kept my silence for far too long.
I was stuck.
For all I knew was a good officer until my brothers
and sisters were exploited on tv screens and magazines.
Blood seeping down and staining shirts, eyes wide open,
and bodies lying in the street.

Growing up, all I knew was a good officer.
So my world shook when I noticed the bad ones, too.
They make it hard for me to defend what I've always
known to protect me. At some point, the bad ones,
we must ****. And with a corrupt justice system
that dismisses the actions that we see, it gets tough...
For both you and me.
"STOP ******* KILLING US," we scream.
But no matter how many octaves we reach,
they still aren't listening. And we are left to wonder,
"Who's next: you or me?"

We make posters with blank spaces,
prepared for another one fallen.
But it's apparent that they refuse to see
that our people are hurting; and that
the chains they put on us not that many years ago
are still bound to us as if they are the latest accessory.

I didn't celebrate the fourth this year.
My people are dying, and here I am breathing
and hoping that anyone near and dear isn't affected by this mockery.
"Black on black crime is a real thing." No denying that statement
but why say that first knowing that some of the ones
we are told to trust don't want to see you free?
Do you understand that any black man could be next?
Even though I'm a woman, ****, it could be me.
My *****, are you listening? Did you get word?
Homie said, "Set your clock back 300 years!"
How about that for a rude awakening?

Quit telling my people that this **** here is an illusion.
You wanna be "a *****" so badly?
Cool, my *****, this is our reality.
We out here dying every day, b.
Pictures of dead bodies and videos of the crime scene,
mothers and children crying.

I never know what to expect.
I'm just praying I don't get a call saying (insert name here)
died at (insert time here) for their melanin radiating
and minding their business.
#JusticeFor___: Trayvon, Sandra, Kathryn, Sean, Eric,
Rekia, Amadou, Mike, Kimani, Kenneth, Travares,
Tamir, Aiyana, Freddie.
Alton and Philando with six shots to the chest.
****, y'all know what's next and I'm so ******* tired.
I will say their names unapologetically
because my heart can't take
my people's hearts tearing at the seams
from the mutual pain we are experiencing.

Black kings, I will pray for you.
Black families, stay whole.
Black children, alive and unborn, I love you.
Apparently: a wallet, sleeping, Skittles, a cellphone,
loud music, cigarettes, cigarillos, shopping at Wal-Mart,
toy guns, failure to signal, CDs, and reaching
for your license and registration can get you all ****** up.

I've never seen a storm last this long.
I've never seen the good officers be seen as the criminal.
I've never seen a people so desperate and anxious
for light at the end of a tunnel...
Until the bad cops thought it was okay
to play illegally and get away.
*7716

My most powerful emotions,
locked away in a room that no one can enter
but me. Privacy.
I threw away the key.
I tried
pouring them into the lake one evening,
one, by one. But they continued to follow me
like my shadow that appears on every single wall
that I see. I tried to
bury them along with the seeds I planted in the garden.
They continued to follow me.
Every time I looked in the mirror,
I tried to
copy and paste the facade I let the world see.
I wanted to make it permanent,
but that was impossible. So I
locked them away in a room that no one can enter
but me.
I threw away the key.
I needed privacy.
*82413

Maybe. Maybe this could work.
Maybe you and I could see each other in a different light,
create a different life together.

Maybe. Maybe we could show everyone that love isn't all heartbreak
and that it isn't always bad. That it can be beautiful.

Maybe. Maybe we could prove doubters wrong and make known
that giving up isn't always the solution.
That problems have answers and issues can't be solved.

Maybe. Maybe we could not only walk a path together, hand in hand,
but maybe we could pave the road of contentment and lead those with curious minds.
Maybe we could bring about such wonder and leave others guessing how this became so good.

Maybe. Maybe we could set a bar.
A bar that others believe is hard to reach but is simple with the right mindset and the determination to love with such passion.

Maybe. maybe we could let others know that it's okay to worry,
but not enough to the point where everyone knows your next move.
Let them guess. Keep them wondering.
They want to know, believe me.

Maybe we could show the world that love is genuine and kind.
Maybe we could prove that outsiders do not matter as long as you and I have each other.
That no matter what trials may come,
love will conquer them all.
*10913

We never had a sexless fantasy.
A bond so unreal.
I have seen your body naked,
no clothes underneath those sheets.
Your purest form.
I let you get more
than a glimpse of me.
You took in all of me. To take your
smooth palm and caress my curves,
I have never been so comfortable.
Our bodies needed each other.
Our souls were destined to meet.

It has been a long time since we've spoken,
since we touched.
No romance, no lust.
You are, now, a stranger
to me. Being
in each other's presence
feels like meeting for the first time.
I used to
be able to
look in the mirror and see
you -- with me.
I am, now, left to wonder
when will be the next time
we meet.
*82413

We always dreamt of
one day seeing the morning rays
peek through the blinds and
watching the emerald green leaves
go with the wind.
Watching one of us take deep breaths
during our slumber.
Admiring each other until your fingers
locked with mine. For so long,
this seemed to be just words, and then
it came to be.
*82413

Your hands caress my skin as if I am the most delicate of flowers,
and your mouth retrieves the nectar from within.
You consistently lock eyes with me and express your love so willingly.
That you are so determined to give sweet love to me.
That you promise to do what God intended passionately.
And with that, my temple is yours.
Every motion, every ****** validates this for me.
The rhythm we create arouses me.
You leave marks on the most obvious of places so the world knows you've explored my canvas like Columbus.
Navigating your way from my neck to my inner thigh.
Moments so divine that I still get chills like the coldest day of winter simply thinking of the time we've shared.
And for some reason, you hold my body like you'll never see me again.
Maybe because it's clear that there's someone else.
I know this because at the break of dawn, the only thing I feel with my eyes closed and my naked body buried underneath these sheets with your presence all over me is the warmth of your body disappearing.
Maybe it isn't love. I'll assume that it was never meant to be.
Even with the sweet nothings whispered in my ear and
the vivid memories of you fondling me.
Every single time, you quietly say that you have to go, apologize for the mess you made and you're sorry about leaving.
The ****** escapade you were dying to experience doesn't suffice.
The look in your eyes says enough.
My body you so desperately wanted to see has done no justice if you leave when the sun begins to rise.
I wonder when I will hear the creak from my bedroom door once more, and your heavy footsteps going across my floor.
I wonder if you'll be reminded of how vacant this space has been without you, and how much my body yearns for more rounds with yours.
Sure enough, the next night you realize it was time to start over.
Time to give you exactly what you need.
I guess I confused lust with love making.
*21914

I looked for temporary satisfation when your love
was absent. I understand it may be selfish of me
but waiting for its return is like waiting for the last
autumn leaf to make way to the earth -- the beauty
of summer fades, and Mother Nature loses her youth
as the arms that reach the heavens slowly die.

Truthfully, one could not forget intimate kisses shared
in silence, and the voice that has resonated in the mind
as the sweetest lullaby. If only it was possible to find joy
within the pain. Although laughing at such misery could
ease a weary heart, the perfect love still has too strong of
a hold to let go of the affection it has received.

I gave my all to a person even with an exhausted soul.
Time after time, I made myself an afterthought for the sake
of his heart. Unfortunate events proved that he did not have
the heart to do the same.  I freely gave myself to a man that
confused true love with lust. My selflessness entwined with his
selfishness, and my love slowly became suppressed from being
mistreated. With this, I know the importance of giving less love
to a loveless being. They are not aware of what they have when
their pride is what they live for.

He claimed to be a "one woman" kind of man
but he wasn't for relationships.
He believes in only having one lady by his side to
keep his head on straight and to help him avoid
the temptation Satan throws in his path.
He could never get enough of the scent of a woman
and all of her essence, her purest form, everything
good that she was willing to give to him
because she is his.
He could never get enough of the way a woman's
body felt against his, and the way their bodies
connected to perform the most glorious action
there is -- because she is the only one he wanted.
Don't let those smirks plastered on to one man's
face and the words that slip right through those lips
which seem to be genuine in their entirety make
you believe that he only wants you for you.
Believe me.
He will say and do anything he wants to get
the slightest glimpse of your figure and the
smallest taste of you.
He will tell you these stories about the ones that
overlooked and took advantage of him and the
fact that he can only see his future with you.
He will share with you falsehoods, words so
untrue that will make you question if him being
so good to you is too good to be true.
Don't fall for his games, baby.
He isn't worth any bit of your time.
He isn't deserving of anything you can give.
He isn't everything he made you believe
he's cracked up to be. What I can say is
that all fellas ain't like that, though.
There are good and bad and some in-between
because we are all human and **** ain't
always sweet but that's not an excuse when all
he wants to do is ******* and leave.
I promise your intuition will never fail you.
I promise that you are going to run into
those bad guys that only think with their ****
and don't know how to quit.
And those good guys turned bad guys that
don't have enough sense to steer away from
the wrong, and Satan got the best of them.
And the good guy that you will find the most
worthy. The man that will look forward to
going to sleep because all he's able to do is
dream about you. The man that will praise you
and your flaws because no other woman in the
world owns them like you. The man that will
appreciate your temple and show it tender
loving care because that is what you should
always be given. The man that will sweep you
off of your feet and make sure you never
touch the ground again because everything
around is not good enough. The man that
worships your spirit, is in love with your aura,
and survives off of your energy.
The man that kisses your hands and the ground
you walk on because he was lucky enough to
be picked by a goddess like you.
The queen to his king, an honor it shall be.
The man that will bring heaven to Mother Earth
for you because you don't deserve any less.
After all, you are God's greatest gift.
*52014

Awakened to *******.
A man's misconstrued idea of what a woman needs to do.

His misery, he slowly found comfort. He tried
to **** me into an everlasting hole of darkness
for as long as I can remember. And I refused
to cave.

Never would I diminish the joy in my soul for a man
like you. There is no comfort in mediocrity, better known
as you.

For the last time, I
solemnly swear that I will never give my energy
to a man's wants and needs. I come first.
And I always will.

It's funny how heartbreak can make me appreciate you even more.
It's as if you have permanently inked every moment a tear fell,
every time our lips touched and refused to part,
every heartfelt word that came from within
onto my soul.

My first true love,
my first true heartbreak.
I knew I had mature emotions at a young age,
and always wondered if I would ever meet the man most deserving.

To my surprise, you were the chosen one.
And to ours, you were the abuser.
The one who misused them,
trampled over them with ease.

I do not believe you are aware of the damage.
And I do not believe that if I even bothered to pour
my heart once more you'd understand.
You were given several opportunities to walk
a mile or two in my shoes.
But you swore there was no need because
you could already feel me.
You passed that up with no problem of passing me.

I slowly slipped away
without you realizing.
Fading into the background of what was once
our masterpiece.
My absence should never be the reason why
you give me the time of day.
You always had a bad habit
of coming around too late anyway.
*51614

The truth is that I love you, and that
I always will. Helpless and hopeless
romantics dream of love like this. For
the longest of times, I dreamt of the
perfect lover. I wondered how much
sweeter life would be if I found myself
in the arms of the man I love. The longer
I waited and every mishap along the way
led me straight to you. I, now, yearn for
the passionate kisses you place upon my
lips. I live for your steady breaths that
give my restless soul peace. Hearts like
yours are the reasons why I remained a
believer.  Your warmth never goes astray,
and your faith gives me strength. Although
each heart withholds the same amount of
adoration, theirs will never be like yours.

Love not forgotten, just placed on the back burner.
And one is reminded of a photograph with past lovers.

It never took much for you to make me weak.
The loving you gave sent chills down my spine,
made my soul do cartwheels,
and made my heart do back flips.
You felt the same. I know because I felt my energy
dance on your heart, and I could tell
when it got down to your bones.
I took the kinks out of your soul
and made life a smoother ride.
We were breaths of fresh air we both needed,
and we gave our spirits what they yearned for.

Ice cold winds beating against our faces.
Laughter so joyous it brought about permanent smiles.
You were contagious in the best way possible.
On the cloudiest day, the sun decided to break through
and make an appearance when we got closer to his space.
Knowing that you were the brightest star
that afternoon and he could never compare to you.
Gazing at each other and saying "I love you"
is what we did best that day. Moving my hands
so my fingers intertwined with yours,
with intentions of never letting go.
Placing kisses exactly where they belonged.
And our reciprocal love filled the air
Everyone could feel it. All eyes were on us.

Now we are strangers in different locations,
with hearts in different races
and minds in different places.
And we are left with a photograph
containing a love that ignited a fire in me
to create poetry.
*4514

If you have ever worried about my presence
fading from your life, don't do it again.
I am somewhere on this earth,
starting over the count of my blessings and
praying for more.

I am at war with my soul.
She gives every obstacle that crosses our path
a home. She tends to push away from what
could possibly be a new beginning because
we've been told that we "ask for too much"
more than once.

I spend too much time being ******* at
people and the negativity they cause, and
the wrong that's in the world and how much
better it would be if positivity was what it
yearned for. And during those times,
I've noticed that the burdens I already carry
aren't as heavy anymore.

It's not easy living in a world where being
mentally imprisoned is socially okay, and
restricting yourself from the universe is
emotionally okay. That's not how it's
supposed to be.

It's not easy living in a world where love
struggles to find a home, and beings forget
that they are love. And showing
vulnerability is worse than not showing it
at all. That's not how it's supposed to be.

I've learned that the world can be a cold place,
and that it owes us nothing because it was
here first. So I have to keep on asking God for
the patience to get through these days, and to
gather the pieces to my puzzle at a steady pace.

I've learned that a big heart is a beautiful curse,
and that you are **** near lucky if you've been
blessed with one.  It can make it through the
darkest of nights and the brightest of days,
so many challenges and so much pain,
and remains in tact because of its strength.
The chances of giving are greater than receiving
because people have learned to be selfish and
stingy. I've asked God time and time again,
"Why did You give this to me?" And He
always replies and says that I need it for things
bigger than me. I need to show others that it is
okay to break down the concrete walls
surrounding their hearts and to let love in.

I've learned that you can't count on any and
every thing. For it all has their own seasons in
which they play a role in your life. But what
you gain from it is what will stay.
Have expectations but don't let them be too
high because others may walk away and
things may not be able to be what you want
anyway.

No matter how great the distance may be,
no matter how many minutes pass each day,
no matter how far you think I have strayed,
I will always be here. Trials and tribulations
may come, but I enter lives and stay.

So don't ever question the roles we have in
each other's lives. Don't distance yourself
because "I'm fine." Don't ever believe I
love you any less than before. Because I
am simply somewhere on this earth,
starting over the count of how many blessings
I have and praying for more.
*61014

I wish I could save you from your demons.

I pray for you every night.
I pray that your spirit is lifted soon.
I pray that your soul finds the peace it deserves.
I pray that your mind is at ease during the hardest of times.
I pray that your heart makes room for greater amounts of love
and rids itself of the pain. I pray that you, one day, realize how
grand you truly are and reach your full potential. I pray
that you find the strength to break the bonds of
negativity one day.  I pray that positivity
uplifts you and increases your faith.

Every night. I promise that I do.

They tell me that I'm not going to make it.
That my dreams do not have the potential
to become realistic, and that I don't have
the power to do anything more than average.
They underestimate what I am so capable
of doing because I so desperately need to keep
my goodness locked up away from them.
To them, chasing my dreams is like chasing
after a train I'd never be able to catch.
Arriving just a minute too late, and my effort
to make it wasn't enough even if my all is
put forth. To them, they believe that dreams
are for the hopeless and I ain't never been that.
So I push forward and fight for what I have
always wanted, for what I know I deserve.
To me, dreams are for real and are the closest
things to sweet victory. Knowing that I've
made it and can live my life peacefully is
what I need. I deserve the world and everything
good that's in it. I've been to hell and back too
many times to not achieve glory. Too many
times being kicked and put down and shut out.
Too many times being told "no". Because
my dreams -- my dreams "aren't meant to be
real". According to many, dreaming is for
rookies that know what they believe will never
come true. I've never been that type. My
spirit is larger than life, and I will prove to my
doubters that dreams are more than real.
*91914

Like all things, you need time.
Time to unwind and release the ache
your soul has found to be the most comfortable.
Time to lift the burdens from your shoulders
and begin anew. For your heart continues
to grow in abundance of love that you worry
may steer you wrong. The lessons it has
learned and the stories that it holds have
taught you to move forward with no one
to give them to.

Kiss the shadows of your past goodbye.
The pieces to the puzzle called your soul
depict a new journey for you. Let the
wings of mercy become your safety net.
For they shall cushion every blow.
They shall surround you at every waking
moment because that is what you truly
deserve. May the spark of a new light
shine so bright within. May its warmth
renew your life and rid you of your
demons. May it give you hope for the path
only heaven has in store.

For the many years to come, cherish every
breath you take. Never stop wondering
about how much better life will be. Continue
wishing for brighter days. And remember
every person that has touched your soul.
*9614

I still can't wrap my mind around the fact
that our bond is no longer as strong as it used to be.
To hell and back, we went.
And you chose to stay down there.
I knew you would rise above your demons.
But they convinced you to stay with those
persuasive words of theirs.
Your demons helped shape a falsehood
that soon became your truth.
They wanted to push us away
from each other. It seems you did, too.
I will never understand how you let
the negative you always avoided into your life.
You are much better than this.
I've lost hope in you rising above
this "phase" you are in.
And maybe one day you will.
Maybe one day you will search your
now festered soul and find that that is not
how you want it to be.
What I do know is that one day,
further down the path you travel,
you will realize that those demons
only wanted to break you down.
I wish you the best although there is
disappointment in you still in my heart.
And to a bond that once weathered
every storm encountered,
may you regain your strength.
*32114