1 - Jun 14th, I wake late during the night,
2 - my body is shaking head to toe, i am so cold.
3 - From my left eye, I shed a tear,
4 - it slithers from my eye, down my cheek.
5 - I take a breath and close my room door.
6 - A mouth full of pills until they entire my bloodstream.

6 - What can I say, this was my original scheme.
1 - The darkness diminishes the light.
5 - There is a bed, but I lay on the floor.
2 - My heart is heavy and it burns me cold,
4 - I feel my body slowly shutting down, becoming weak.
3 - There is no going back now, the damage will be severe.

3 - My ceiling fan spins round and round like a sphere.
6 - This is because of my low self esteem.
4 - Sorry mom, this is not a game of hide-and-go-seek.
1 - In the morning when you wake please bear your sight.
2 - Drugs take action, they have me controlled,
5 - my whole life I have been hurt and sore.

5 - Time is running out, one, two, three, four.
3 - Half hour passes and now I begin to fear,
2 - you would never guess this is how i really feel, it’s untold.
6 - I've lived my whole life in my head; a daydream.
1 - Remember I did this to myself, out of spite.
4 - Maybe it’s because my whole life I've been called a freak.

4 - Never did I fit in, my dad called me unique.
5 - I reach for my cellphone in my dresser drawer,
1 - my body collapses and I know its too late, I'm not alright.
3 - Eyes closed shut but all i see is black appear.
6 - My body has gone into shock, I am unable to scream.
2 - The pills run though my body and shape me like a mold.

2 - An entire hour is gone, now I am no longer in control.
4 - The voices in my head softly being to speak.
6 - I mouth, ‘Mr. Sandman bring me a dream.’
5 - My body has shut down, my heart has no beat anymore.
3 - And just as I simply did not exist before I was born here,
1 - I will not exist after death strips away my meaning, just as air puts out a candlelight.

25 - I am no longer in control, I do not exist anymore.
43 - My mother is beside me, she mumbles to speak, ‘stay, wake, do not leave me here’
61 - Life is a dream that flashes before your eyes, like blowing out a candlelight.

Lex Rudyk

With bony hands I hold my partner tight,
A soulless corpse I've always been.
Living each day until I see the light.
Reviving each countless sin.

I watch his eyes meet mine.
He holds me close to his breast,
and we dance this line,
until the day we rest.

I'm scared to fall asleep.
The drugs running through my body,
the thoughts running through my mind.

Falling asleep,
is like going into a time capsule,
and traveling to a new day.
a new light;

I sometimes like the sound of my thoughts in my head.
The coldness of the night;
the dark sky.
All the sounds the night roars,
animals, birds, slamming car doors.
The air i breathe feels clear and fresh.
In my house i feel trapped I am a mess.

This whole time,
I think i'm happy but deep down,
at my hearts core…
is a raging storm of rain, lightning; thunder.
Being broken,
is a work of art.

The brokenness has killed me.
Death will be my final masterpiece.

Lex Bilz