I'm scared to fall asleep.
The drugs running through my body,
the thoughts running through my mind.

Falling asleep,
is like going into a time capsule,
and traveling to a new day.
a new light;

I sometimes like the sound of my thoughts in my head.
The coldness of the night;
the dark sky.
All the sounds the night roars,
animals, birds, slamming car doors.
The air i breathe feels clear and fresh.
In my house i feel trapped I am a mess.

This whole time,
I think i'm happy but deep down,
at my hearts core…
is a raging storm of rain, lightning; thunder.
Being broken,
is a work of art.

The brokenness has killed me.
Death will be my final masterpiece.

Lex Bilz

1 - Jun 14th, I wake late during the night,
2 - my body is shaking head to toe, i am so cold.
3 - From my left eye, I shed a tear,
4 - it slithers from my eye, down my cheek.
5 - I take a breath and close my room door.
6 - A mouth full of pills until they entire my bloodstream.

6 - What can I say, this was my original scheme.
1 - The darkness diminishes the light.
5 - There is a bed, but I lay on the floor.
2 - My heart is heavy and it burns me cold,
4 - I feel my body slowly shutting down, becoming weak.
3 - There is no going back now, the damage will be severe.

3 - My ceiling fan spins round and round like a sphere.
6 - This is because of my low self esteem.
4 - Sorry mom, this is not a game of hide-and-go-seek.
1 - In the morning when you wake please bear your sight.
2 - Drugs take action, they have me controlled,
5 - my whole life I have been hurt and sore.

5 - Time is running out, one, two, three, four.
3 - Half hour passes and now I begin to fear,
2 - you would never guess this is how i really feel, it’s untold.
6 - I've lived my whole life in my head; a daydream.
1 - Remember I did this to myself, out of spite.
4 - Maybe it’s because my whole life I've been called a freak.

4 - Never did I fit in, my dad called me unique.
5 - I reach for my cellphone in my dresser drawer,
1 - my body collapses and I know its too late, I'm not alright.
3 - Eyes closed shut but all i see is black appear.
6 - My body has gone into shock, I am unable to scream.
2 - The pills run though my body and shape me like a mold.

2 - An entire hour is gone, now I am no longer in control.
4 - The voices in my head softly being to speak.
6 - I mouth, ‘Mr. Sandman bring me a dream.’
5 - My body has shut down, my heart has no beat anymore.
3 - And just as I simply did not exist before I was born here,
1 - I will not exist after death strips away my meaning, just as air puts out a candlelight.

25 - I am no longer in control, I do not exist anymore.
43 - My mother is beside me, she mumbles to speak, ‘stay, wake, do not leave me here’
61 - Life is a dream that flashes before your eyes, like blowing out a candlelight.

Lex Rudyk

With bony hands I hold my partner tight,
A soulless corpse I've always been.
Living each day until I see the light.
Reviving each countless sin.

I watch his eyes meet mine.
He holds me close to his breast,
and we dance this line,
until the day we rest.