Don't let distraction masquerade as enjoyment.
Something lies under the surface.

Restlesness,
Sink your fangs into me
My flesh will not protest

Your venom, my impetus
That glorious burning sting
Fill my veins and be my guide

Running to or running from
You make no distinction

Venom, in my veins coercing
And burning at the open wound
That ******* desire

That unceasing need to run

Be like sand
Breaking and shifting under the tide
Stagnation is a sin to me
I am movement
I am flux

The condition of existence
To run like a light
From its shadows

Sweet melancholy
Lips so sweet
I curl into your soft embrace
But your arms won't contain me
For I am a restless beast

Wanderlust
How your eyes dance bright
And your body twists in the sunrise
I would run to the east with no thought of ceasing
If you would twist with me in the midnight
That eastward light, the burning lust within me
How long will you dance, barely out of reach

I always carry a book with me
Like a place to hide
During the rainstorm
Warm and dry

How have I, up until this moment
Never felt my own heartbeat
And been stricken by its presence
Odd
What a horrifying idea

Im not

human

I'm not

human

Hollow and plastic
Can you hear my heart ticking?
Tick tick in my hollow
Empty

I'm not

human

I'm not

human

if i forget my desire
i attain its object

what are we
this flesh?
twisted and stretched
to contain all our humanity

am i not what I say i am
certainly not what I think i am
but in this midnight twisting
I am you
and you me

nothing makes sense but some things seem to
be
like the twisted flesh in the midnight

without thought
of what
are we

I can't tell what's real
Eleventeen crows
With dogs on either side
Fly by the
Empty church on a Sunday night

Cause my head's a blur
Of black dogs chasing white crows through the dark sky
Where the bark
Is my head headed

**** me
And al-so *******
I'm a butterfly
And my poem is better than yours too.

I'm on drugs
Just not the kind you think
They help me with my feelings
And keep me from the brink
Of some in-sane
Dicis-ion-making

Like wearing shirts back
To front
And in
Side out

and other things...

nothing's real

so stuck in our heads sometimes
Like walking into another room with
Windows and books on the shelf and
Plain walls

And when the walls shimmer away
hold our breath
Taken
reclaim what it is To
be
Captive

Odd that freedom engenders slavery
They embrace in us
And Chase us like foxes

Bereft
A thing to be
When all is lost
But the breeze in
Maple tree

memory is not
and how can it be
-like this corpse-
what i call
me

i am not here
i am not here
i am not here

Simply to exist
Watch branches
Fall and decay

I see myself
Dying branch
Reflected there

Lacking want and
Lacking Fear
Exist, and cease

if it could be seen
what sky has seen,
could hear what words
spoke the trees

then aged would be
minds and
its wisdom bring...

we might smile wryly
as fate approaches

If only I could let go
of those childish dreams
and learn to desire
what I cannot fully see

Dont leave me alone in my head
This ******* constant anxiety
Always
Driving me insane
Dont leave me
Cause I'm screaming
But i cant make a sound

Please hold me, I don't want to
Feel the cold
Dont leave me
Love
Please dont leave
Wrap your arms around me
Like you used to
Or at least in my dream
Love

Such a long time
All of me was blind in the dark
That aimless search
Thank you
For breaking me
so I could find
myself

That temptuous lure
All my idols
Eyes dancing in firelight
Speak wonderingly in my ear
Let me become drunk on you

Laying in the dark
What odd shapes we  make
And how cruel, that
when one is feeling
Something so sweet
There is also loss
Of what isn't
Of what used to be

One setback from suicide
All I feel
What's my death worth
All I feel
Be my bullet please
Love
Come into me
love
Save me

You smell like my bedsheets
What's your name again?
Sorry it has to be this way, love,
Sorry I'm not here for you, now
Will you remember me love,
My fingertips tracing in the dark
You smell like my bedsheets
What's your name again?

Will you
Slip
With me?

Laughing and rolling as we fall

And then
slip
Into me,

Please hold me, I don't want to
Feel the cold.

Words pass

through soft lips

So adoringly

And run down your cheek

And

Our eyes begin to dance

The daylight,

how elusive

How many hours
Until it slips away
Parting from me once again

And when i call out like a child
Will it not
-indifferent-
Look away?

I had spent years in darkness,
For the mind is a cavernous *****

Labarinthyne pathways
And crevaces that reach longingly, fingers outstreched into the deep

How long since
i had bathed in white sunlight?
And the sky breathing its warm breath-
The soft caress
And springs that ring like bells

Perhaps all memory of this daylight
Will be lured into the abyss
And even time will be lost in darkness

Evanescent
My joy is counted in minutes

And yet i feel grateful
that i, too,
Must silently

fade away

The sky is bleeding

                                      It knows

And there is no consolation for

                         Our feeble minds

And the black earth turns red

                          Eroded and pale

What a strange place this is

                          How small we must feel

These are truly dark days
They walk in rows
Week after week after week

Solemnly treading between
One lifetime and the next

Intoxicated

These dark days whisper
softly and with shadowy eyes

Intoxicated

A thousand quiet voices
like distant bells
Low and cavernous

Fading into black daylight

Infatuation is exhilerating
And often deceiving
But i wont stop thinking about your smile
Although we

Never again

Will meet

You remind me
Of summer rain
And afternoons spent in that hazy
Green and
gray

Someone stop me
Because something’s begun
That etherial warmth
Wind between the trees
And raining  in the sunlight

I’m afriaid that this will end
Before it’s really begun

And I try to

Distance
From


But
everytime I think

The rain trickles down

And I can’t stop

Revel in the times of  uncertainty and strife, for they are also filled with a youthful wonder- that lawless search in the pouring rain.

And know, because the search must end,
That comfort is a tight restraint
And security is a shackle.

You might wake up in easy times to find that the lawless aspect of you has suffocated, and that whatever security the restraints gave you is replaced a desperate will to be free.

In your desperation to break the bonds, you will also destroy the ease that binds you.

Tomorrow,
I will think of these interesting days
And wish for them to be new again.

These odd days of
mixed joy and suffering
They have a quality of more-ness, somehow
As if each day could be two.

And when, again, I am in the droning
Repetitive swirl
Then I will wish for these days again.

I am something new and without a story
An empty mold
Because the warm sun touched my face
But there's a part missing
Some memories I didn't make
From the time when I should've been there
But I wasn't anywhere at all.

I am not myself
The day is growing darker and
I am not myself

Some bridges are made of glass.
how stupid I was
to place trust in something so fragile....

I know you did nothing wrong,
But it still hurts.

Fingers running, your lips deftly persue
And stray farther from my aching chest
They press, so kindly
Those whispered words.

You speak so softly, dear
But in each touch of your lips
My body feels like running water
And the waves break rhythmically
On the surface of my skin.

maybe sometime later on
i'll remember fondly what it was like
to not yet know love

Intertwined lovers
how the fingers can wander
and what small beautiful things they find
and revel

Now that we are drunk
on the wine of gods,
can we put the bottle down?

Sunny days and cloudy afternoons
The days slip away
rain dripping from the rooftop

But I am just waiting
And I can still feel the imprint of your body resting against mine

Every time it comes to mind
I remember what you taste like
-Our warm embrace-
The curvature of your lips is etched into my memory

And that night we laid there,
head on my shoulder
Your body pressed against mine

Please don't think me naive
Just for remembering

a letter from reality
like little scraps of paper
i can't quite make out the words
but the sentiment is appreciated

We would become like shadows
or faint plays of light on a wall,
dancing and fading,
rejoicing in our momentary existence

Summer's on the horizon
and it looks like warm days
with rainy afternoons
and the feeling of sand between my toes

Let the words fall from your lips
Like drips from the rooftop
rhythmic, but without melody

Oh the cold drops on  my neck

But I am a rising tide
To wash us away
Like little the little shells

all the forgotten things
the things I couldn't see for the longest time
that precise shade of afternoon light

like little petals
dropping slowly down
and landing by my side