Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
I* am what plagues you in the night
I am a narcissist dimming your light
I am who embodies your deepest fright
I am the succubus who drains your might
I am who dresses in the most innocent white
                      Oh, my darling,
                   **I'll   ruin   you   in   plain   sight
leave me alone.
the stark contrast of her short hair against her delicate face utterly baffled me, if only for a moment.
I had known her as nothing less than balanced and complete
smooth edges melting into curves and grooves so fine,
a telescope couldn't tell where she started or ended.
years ago we'd held hands as the earth shook under our dusty feet,
locking ourselves in place to watch hopelessly as life as we knew it... crumbled.
without understanding why, I hadn't been afraid
perhaps her uninhabited laughter was my antidote to all things broken.
now, looking out over the marina,
remembering how she giggled as the fish danced sonnets through the currents,
splashing her tanned legs in pure merriment as we watched their undersea show,
I felt like I had made it all up.
maybe her eyes never sparkled as she scolded jillian tarver for her promiscuity
maybe her cheeks didn't warm when I delighted over her paintings in the sunroom.
it was a different dimension, back then, one I had tried to forget -- not because she was an unfavorable memory -- no, because in order to make something of myself, I had to let her go.
that hair...
I always told her how her soft curls drifting across her freckled shoulders would drive men mad, would drive me mad.
she would scoff and pretend to bat at me and tell me she was nothing special; she attempted for all she was worth to convince me she wasn't worthy of my every last affection.
I promised her she was wrong.
not only did I break that promise, but I broke what was left of my ability to care... for anything, for anyone, for myself.
she....
she had three lovely kids and a house on the hilltop with my best friend, and wouldn't you know that she chopped all her hair off and died it black.
I turned from her gaze and resolved to look out at the marina, at my marina, at my spectacle of dead fish dancing for my eyes only.
next time the ground cared to rumble, maybe I should hitch a ride.
he shuddered the first time we touched
and the second, and the third
hitched breaths and a racing heart
careening right into mine

faces so close, sharing air
in, out...... in, out.....
his demons are my enemies
his dreams are a part of me

everything else in the world
is upside down and burning

now the only person I will ever burn for
is *you
by pencil lead, I carved you
      cliffs rounded into craters
silky shadows and smooth skin
         so fine, so fine
I immortalized you,
           a thing to have-- to hold
but even paper grows old
              over time, over time
shivering in the snow
brittle, glittering diamonds
both so fragile and perfect..
both so deadly.
wearing each to sleep
a blanket of clear, white slumber
hushing the sounds from above,
resting in peace.
today
I am red
so red, and blue
angry and lonely and missing you
mad at myself and my thoughts and this hell
I want to crawl out
so violent, so loud
how do I calm down
fuzzy purple, soft hues
trickling water and morning dew
I miss you, I still miss you!
my mind is a burst of orange and yellow
crazy, untamed, deep, shallow
dilated eyes and gasping mouths
hush hushed in dark browns
I get like this
different shades
I hurt like this
broken spades
don't let me fade
don't let me fade
grey, grey, grey, grey, grey, grey, grey, grey
oh, they dream
they dream by day
look at them
stood atop a field of daisies
always reaching so far,
like their hands could
break off at any moment
arms stretching to catch the wind
it's the only thing they'll trust
eyelashes fluttering,
ribs expanding, breathe, they keep breathing
they're drifting
don't stop them
don't tell them to come home
don't box them
don't let them know you feel alone
don't love them
aren't they beautiful?
aren't they broken?
please don't scare them
a drifter scared,
is a drifter lost
and yet again,
we've lost them
.


   I love you,                          I hate you
I scribbled in the       places where my
   tissue paper heart   should   be   full
      jigsaw puzzles made whole again
        poor broken hearts made new
          taped it to my battered chest
             regretted using black pen
               hindsight knows us best
           {==I let you back in again==>
                     picking  up  pieces
                        drying my eyes
                          a new  thesis
                            I won't cry
                               alright?
                                 good
                                  bye
                      ­               .
 Oct 2016 ghost girl
Ann Beaver
Everything blue. Invisible.

Crashing, collapsing  
Gold swept away


The back again to stay the winter

Weathering stone to sand

Hand-in-hand to spring

*Soaking everything in gold
In blue
Graffed at the Dali museum in Monterey. Italics is my boo Dragon Lily
Next page