art keeps getting
smaller and smaller
like we have
less and less time
to really create a body
of work strong enough
to break through the
barriers of the mind.

i can make a list of
the people i have kissed
and call it poetry for days i can
write an anthem on **** culture
with words i do not understand
or use

and judge my creativity
based on all my views.

there is never the right time
to sit down and syphon the
truth from your palpitating heart.
sometimes you find the time
in between the spaces of
the mundane and draw
or paint or
film or
write

something that will
take someone’s breathe away.

even if it is your own.

there is no easy way to
make a lasting impression
on a soul you don’t quite
know or understand.

but

if your heart feels lighter
at the end than when you began
then you are making

progress.

maybe you didn’t feel it
when i licked myself
off of your lips.

maybe you didn’t feel it
when i traced the back of
your knees with my fingertips.

maybe you didn’t feel it
when you rolled over in the
morning and saw how well we fit.

i knew it when you
picked the eyelash off my  
cheek because it felt like a kiss.

i knew it when you
took the long way home so there’d
be a few less seconds to miss.

i knew it when you
would wake up and leave me because
my heart would contort into a fist-

all so i’d never have to let you go.
but you would never know.

Dearest Best Friend,
Thank you
For standing by
Through all the years.
As I pushed you away,
But then months later called
To divulge my fears.

You never judged me
Or turned me away,
And you always reminded me
You were there to stay.

Sometimes I didn't deserve you.
Sometimes I acted like a ****,
But I feel you have reminded me
Real love is worth the work.

Now here I am thinking of you,
More than I have of anyone else before.
It makes me wonder after all these years,
Were you the truth in true love's core?

Muffled screams
Caged behind my lips
     Just keep quiet,
Says the voice in my head,
          *People have real problems.

to measure out lumps of beauty
divide all into equal shares
this is a task beyond reckoning
beauty is linear and beauty is broken
and each broken piece mirrors the whole
each whole expands eternally
and the present moment is the most beautiful

a kiss does not always mean
"i love you"

sometimes it means
"i am sorry"
and sometimes it means
"i have to go"

i have had kisses that taste like
alcohol, sweat and stinging regret.
i have had kisses that were laced
with desperation as their tongue
wrestled with mine.

i have had kisses that left me feeling
more empty about myself than good.
i have had kisses that never should
have happened, ones i wanted to take back.
jesus christ, i wish i could.

there are kisses i have given
that were so passionately deep
only because i was trying to find something,
maybe searching for the thing that
no one could ever find inside of me.

there are kisses that have broken my heart.
and there are kisses that never happened,
but still managed to make me fall apart.

kisses that made me a mess of ****** cliches.
kisses that kept warning me,
kept signaling me to stay away.

You will not look at me.

Not even look at the brave face I practiced
Not look at the smile I painted
Not at the dry eyes I skillfully mastered

This mask I made for you to see
But still, you will not look at me
As if my fakeness, will mutilate the image you have of me

*I can tell you, it will.