My face is
Not photogenic enough
And my thoughts
Are undercaptured

I thought that writing
had abandoned me;
left me forever
like a lover
in an unrequited union.

I spent evenings waiting for
it to come back,
for words to stumble into me
at the grocery store-

but alas I waited 14 long months
and I was still alone,
as I started thinking
I had found other pastimes
and met other interests.

But when the passionate
ebb and flow of words
finally returned,
I realised this old flame and I
have unwritten business to finish.

I left my arms open for you
When you needed a friend,

I left my heart open for you,
When you needed love
(but didn't give it in return)

But now,
Two years later,
I refuse to leave my mind open
For you to walk through my thoughts
As you please.

As I sit
On a deck chair
In the sun
Outside my childhood home
And let the sun
Leave its mark of beauty
On my skin,
My thoughts flow
Like poetry
And I am happy once again.

I can hear
The delicate chirp
Of birds
And wonder whether
They're saying:
"You should've done this
A long time ago."

I have been
The cause
Of my own tears
For too long.

Like a bulimic
Forcing the contents
Of their stomach out,
I inflicted pain upon myself;
forcing my emotions out
In tears
That streaked my cheek.

Now,
When emotions come in waves
Like nausea
I hold back the hurls
As the tears rise
To the back of my throat.

I will no longer let
My own thoughts
Be the metaphorical finger
Down my throat.

You were told:

"You are tougher
than you think,"
When in fact that is a lie.

You are only as tough
As you think you are,

So think great thoughts,
And be as tough
As you know.

Every time
You close your eyes
To make a wish,
Open them once again
And ask yourself
What you're doing
To make that wish come true.